Matthew Cranor
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Matthew Cranor
@mattcranor.bsky.social
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Advice for when Carmy's in a mood.
A statue of a bear painted in Missouri State colors below a sing reading "PLEASE STAY OFF THE BEAR"
May 2, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Under the wire.
September 17, 2024 at 11:13 AM
So it's true that he is mortal after all? How could I have misread the signs and portents so badly? I must return to my grimoires.
A partial headline reading "Bill Clinton Hints at Mortality but"
August 22, 2024 at 11:49 AM
They gave me a rental car of the zeitgeist.
August 12, 2024 at 8:20 PM
Shin Godzilla (2016)

Dir. Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi
The Eiffel Tower projecting laser lights like Godzilla's spine energy beams in the film
July 27, 2024 at 3:19 AM
A stringy-haired girl is gonna crawl out of this icemaker and kill me.
A message above a refrigerator icemaker that says "Replace Water Filter. 7 Days Remaining"
June 23, 2024 at 4:57 PM
Got a threat served as an ad.
May 2, 2024 at 12:05 AM
Walking here while five guys play bucket drums and police sirens blare is M:I Fallout vibes and I welcome it.
People and cars under a train overpass in Indianapolis.
February 18, 2024 at 12:47 AM
You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who is coming to save you?

I'm gonna turn into a red smear.
January 13, 2024 at 2:51 AM
Closed captioning by HP Lovecraft.
Closed captioning not bearing a resemblance to a language known to this plane of existence.
January 9, 2024 at 1:44 AM
Introduce yourself with four spaceships
The Millennium Falcon The Rocinante from The Expanse The Waverider from Legends of Tomorrow The Normandy SR2 from the second and third Mass Effect games
January 4, 2024 at 3:42 AM
If I had to describe the singer of "Santa Baby" in three words
A flyer advertising an event called Christmas on Main
November 15, 2023 at 6:13 PM