Sam
@mastrap84.bsky.social
Brain full of bees. Stand-up, jokes, mental health, kids, marriage. Saying dumb things so you don’t realize I have a Masters degree. #Seahawks.
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ebqyeigqngauff5yv27asqfo/feed/aaabgx5thxhfm
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ebqyeigqngauff5yv27asqfo/feed/aaabgx5thxhfm
Love the nights with this gorgeous girl.
August 14, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Love the nights with this gorgeous girl.
It’s friggin’ football time, look how psyched she is for the Seahawks! Wait.
August 8, 2025 at 1:02 AM
It’s friggin’ football time, look how psyched she is for the Seahawks! Wait.
I don’t know what I did (probably slept so hard and wrong on it) but my right wrist feels like I got out in a wrist locked and the person wrenched it hard.
All of my wrist braces are left handed apparently so I just put on a weight lifting wrist strap hahaha. It’s helping!
All of my wrist braces are left handed apparently so I just put on a weight lifting wrist strap hahaha. It’s helping!
July 15, 2025 at 1:35 AM
I don’t know what I did (probably slept so hard and wrong on it) but my right wrist feels like I got out in a wrist locked and the person wrenched it hard.
All of my wrist braces are left handed apparently so I just put on a weight lifting wrist strap hahaha. It’s helping!
All of my wrist braces are left handed apparently so I just put on a weight lifting wrist strap hahaha. It’s helping!
Little Danger Mouse is a month old now. She’s so precious and teeny tiny.
We are still working to get her to sleep in her bassinet so we have had some sleepless nights and we are tired but also very much in love with her.
Her siblings also made the 13hr trip to come meet their sister. So rad.
We are still working to get her to sleep in her bassinet so we have had some sleepless nights and we are tired but also very much in love with her.
Her siblings also made the 13hr trip to come meet their sister. So rad.
July 7, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Little Danger Mouse is a month old now. She’s so precious and teeny tiny.
We are still working to get her to sleep in her bassinet so we have had some sleepless nights and we are tired but also very much in love with her.
Her siblings also made the 13hr trip to come meet their sister. So rad.
We are still working to get her to sleep in her bassinet so we have had some sleepless nights and we are tired but also very much in love with her.
Her siblings also made the 13hr trip to come meet their sister. So rad.
My 14-year-old is high functioning autistic, & he knows dad has done standup comedy. But social situations? An issue.
So he started sharing jokes with me. Easy, dumb and harsh anti-gay and black jokes. I finally asked where he got them and then had to make sure this dumbass friend knew what’s up
So he started sharing jokes with me. Easy, dumb and harsh anti-gay and black jokes. I finally asked where he got them and then had to make sure this dumbass friend knew what’s up
May 30, 2025 at 3:04 AM
My 14-year-old is high functioning autistic, & he knows dad has done standup comedy. But social situations? An issue.
So he started sharing jokes with me. Easy, dumb and harsh anti-gay and black jokes. I finally asked where he got them and then had to make sure this dumbass friend knew what’s up
So he started sharing jokes with me. Easy, dumb and harsh anti-gay and black jokes. I finally asked where he got them and then had to make sure this dumbass friend knew what’s up
She’s here. 6 pounds, 5 ounces. 19.5 inches.
Seahawks and Korn fan.
She’s perfect.
Mama did amazing.
Seahawks and Korn fan.
She’s perfect.
Mama did amazing.
May 28, 2025 at 2:28 AM
She’s here. 6 pounds, 5 ounces. 19.5 inches.
Seahawks and Korn fan.
She’s perfect.
Mama did amazing.
Seahawks and Korn fan.
She’s perfect.
Mama did amazing.
I know a lot of people in this city because of jobs I’ve done. This is so, so cute.
However, it absolutely is rife with cigarette smoke and smell and now I gotta soak it in Dreft or some such.
However, it absolutely is rife with cigarette smoke and smell and now I gotta soak it in Dreft or some such.
May 24, 2025 at 2:02 AM
I know a lot of people in this city because of jobs I’ve done. This is so, so cute.
However, it absolutely is rife with cigarette smoke and smell and now I gotta soak it in Dreft or some such.
However, it absolutely is rife with cigarette smoke and smell and now I gotta soak it in Dreft or some such.
Hi everyone - I’m not around much on account of my new job. But two weekends ago we had our baby shower. One of us actually dressed up. I’m not sure what The Queen was doing.
Go Hawks!
Go Hawks!
April 22, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Hi everyone - I’m not around much on account of my new job. But two weekends ago we had our baby shower. One of us actually dressed up. I’m not sure what The Queen was doing.
Go Hawks!
Go Hawks!
I just, can’t.
But hey this cold medicine has me feeling creative, I guess?
But hey this cold medicine has me feeling creative, I guess?
March 28, 2025 at 1:18 AM
I just, can’t.
But hey this cold medicine has me feeling creative, I guess?
But hey this cold medicine has me feeling creative, I guess?
I made a meme in celebration of my Jeopardy! victory tonight
March 28, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I made a meme in celebration of my Jeopardy! victory tonight
7 wrote a wonderful story via text today. A loving tale … in two parts
February 16, 2025 at 6:26 PM
7 wrote a wonderful story via text today. A loving tale … in two parts
The in-laws are Chiefs fans. I made signs to welcome them.
February 9, 2025 at 7:37 PM
The in-laws are Chiefs fans. I made signs to welcome them.
I almost went on a Temu spree for a few cheap business attire things last night. Thank god I didn’t.
February 5, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I almost went on a Temu spree for a few cheap business attire things last night. Thank god I didn’t.
Pop Quiz, Hot Shot:
You go to a baby appointment with your very pregnant wife (baby is awesome, btw) and during it she says “I really fucking want some chicken bacon pizza”
WHAT DO YOU DO!?
Answer: Get. Her. Everything.
You go to a baby appointment with your very pregnant wife (baby is awesome, btw) and during it she says “I really fucking want some chicken bacon pizza”
WHAT DO YOU DO!?
Answer: Get. Her. Everything.
February 5, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Pop Quiz, Hot Shot:
You go to a baby appointment with your very pregnant wife (baby is awesome, btw) and during it she says “I really fucking want some chicken bacon pizza”
WHAT DO YOU DO!?
Answer: Get. Her. Everything.
You go to a baby appointment with your very pregnant wife (baby is awesome, btw) and during it she says “I really fucking want some chicken bacon pizza”
WHAT DO YOU DO!?
Answer: Get. Her. Everything.
“Charli XCX. So hot right now.”
February 3, 2025 at 4:43 AM
“Charli XCX. So hot right now.”
Yes, they are. I’m getting one so I can always keep up with kid-speak
So if I die tomorrow I will say I was totally sigma and have rizz.
But in 100 years they will note I was Timberlaking and had a valid Chinese social credit score
So if I die tomorrow I will say I was totally sigma and have rizz.
But in 100 years they will note I was Timberlaking and had a valid Chinese social credit score
January 30, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Yes, they are. I’m getting one so I can always keep up with kid-speak
So if I die tomorrow I will say I was totally sigma and have rizz.
But in 100 years they will note I was Timberlaking and had a valid Chinese social credit score
So if I die tomorrow I will say I was totally sigma and have rizz.
But in 100 years they will note I was Timberlaking and had a valid Chinese social credit score
The room is going to be Winnie the Pooh. So it’ll be darker walls with the brighter splashes of signs and other Winnie the Pooh items.
January 28, 2025 at 3:51 AM
The room is going to be Winnie the Pooh. So it’ll be darker walls with the brighter splashes of signs and other Winnie the Pooh items.
Do you mean “chance of rain”? Here it is.
I feel like if we do this every time I walk in the room to get baby girl I have to look up, sniff a little, squint my eyes and go “baby girl, seems like there’ll be a chance of rain”
I feel like if we do this every time I walk in the room to get baby girl I have to look up, sniff a little, squint my eyes and go “baby girl, seems like there’ll be a chance of rain”
January 28, 2025 at 3:33 AM
Do you mean “chance of rain”? Here it is.
I feel like if we do this every time I walk in the room to get baby girl I have to look up, sniff a little, squint my eyes and go “baby girl, seems like there’ll be a chance of rain”
I feel like if we do this every time I walk in the room to get baby girl I have to look up, sniff a little, squint my eyes and go “baby girl, seems like there’ll be a chance of rain”
I did once paint the boys’ room Seahawks colors. That was more fun.
January 28, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I did once paint the boys’ room Seahawks colors. That was more fun.
I got home from a brand new job - like the first day of school - only to be greeted with paint swatches for the baby’s room. We weren’t going to paint but her mom insists.
I picked five (not pictured), including one called “chance of rain.”
The room is already grey. Kill me.
I picked five (not pictured), including one called “chance of rain.”
The room is already grey. Kill me.
January 28, 2025 at 3:00 AM
I got home from a brand new job - like the first day of school - only to be greeted with paint swatches for the baby’s room. We weren’t going to paint but her mom insists.
I picked five (not pictured), including one called “chance of rain.”
The room is already grey. Kill me.
I picked five (not pictured), including one called “chance of rain.”
The room is already grey. Kill me.
Wildly how even the matchup is so far
January 27, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Wildly how even the matchup is so far
