Marko Kloos
@markokloos.bsky.social
I tell lies for fun and profit. Author of the Frontlines and Palladium Wars SF series, Wild Cards writer, contributor to Love Death + Robots.
If you know you know.
November 12, 2025 at 11:31 PM
If you know you know.
The thing to know about dogs is that they exist in a special quantum state. They have never been fed until they get fed, and as soon as the last bite is gone, they revert to the never-been-fed condition.
November 12, 2025 at 3:13 PM
The thing to know about dogs is that they exist in a special quantum state. They have never been fed until they get fed, and as soon as the last bite is gone, they revert to the never-been-fed condition.
It's quite telling that the only remotely personal thing Elon has ever posted on his own volition was that picture of a nightstand cluttered with diet soda cans and a replica of an anime pistol.
November 10, 2025 at 6:39 PM
It's quite telling that the only remotely personal thing Elon has ever posted on his own volition was that picture of a nightstand cluttered with diet soda cans and a replica of an anime pistol.
"What kind of American are you?"
November 10, 2025 at 5:28 PM
"What kind of American are you?"
For the newbie writers: this is a current scam making the rounds. The goal is to get you to pay for reviews from a book club that doesn't exist. Don't fall for it.
(Extra asshole points to this bunch for pretending to be from a marginalized group.)
(Extra asshole points to this bunch for pretending to be from a marginalized group.)
November 5, 2025 at 2:08 PM
For the newbie writers: this is a current scam making the rounds. The goal is to get you to pay for reviews from a book club that doesn't exist. Don't fall for it.
(Extra asshole points to this bunch for pretending to be from a marginalized group.)
(Extra asshole points to this bunch for pretending to be from a marginalized group.)
Littlest doggo likes to howl, and I've started nicknaming her "Enid" because she's "wolfing out" like Wednesday's roomie. Well, now she gets to look like Enid too because we found the kid's old hair chalk.
October 28, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Littlest doggo likes to howl, and I've started nicknaming her "Enid" because she's "wolfing out" like Wednesday's roomie. Well, now she gets to look like Enid too because we found the kid's old hair chalk.
Local Dogs Have Hardest Lives, Local Dogs Claim
October 23, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Local Dogs Have Hardest Lives, Local Dogs Claim
One of the cool things about pre-ordering hardcovers is the surprise when they arrive months later when you almost forgot that you ordered them.
October 23, 2025 at 8:32 PM
One of the cool things about pre-ordering hardcovers is the surprise when they arrive months later when you almost forgot that you ordered them.
Some campaign ads just write themselves.
October 20, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Some campaign ads just write themselves.
Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.
October 20, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.
As atonement for snarking on British food, here's a picture of one of the many specialties of my native land. It's called Mettigel (Mett hedgehog).
Mett (from Old Saxon "meti"="food") is raw minced pork, seasoned with salt, pepper, and minced onions. It's basically pork tartare.
Mett (from Old Saxon "meti"="food") is raw minced pork, seasoned with salt, pepper, and minced onions. It's basically pork tartare.
October 14, 2025 at 3:22 PM
As atonement for snarking on British food, here's a picture of one of the many specialties of my native land. It's called Mettigel (Mett hedgehog).
Mett (from Old Saxon "meti"="food") is raw minced pork, seasoned with salt, pepper, and minced onions. It's basically pork tartare.
Mett (from Old Saxon "meti"="food") is raw minced pork, seasoned with salt, pepper, and minced onions. It's basically pork tartare.
"Wellana? Wellana Squirrelme? Of the Cincinnati Squirrelmes?"
October 14, 2025 at 3:03 PM
"Wellana? Wellana Squirrelme? Of the Cincinnati Squirrelmes?"
"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"
October 8, 2025 at 11:57 PM
"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"
Got a new welcome/goodbye mat.
October 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Got a new welcome/goodbye mat.
It's made in Scotland from girders!
October 4, 2025 at 3:09 PM
It's made in Scotland from girders!
Yeah, sure, it's pedantic, but you can't "center around" something. (Also, this indictment is so thin that it can split atoms, and it will never hold up in front of a jury.)
September 26, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Yeah, sure, it's pedantic, but you can't "center around" something. (Also, this indictment is so thin that it can split atoms, and it will never hold up in front of a jury.)
They pirated 29 of my works, everything I've published until 2022, including 13 novels.
As Harlan Ellison would say: Fuck you, pay me.
As Harlan Ellison would say: Fuck you, pay me.
September 8, 2025 at 4:55 PM
They pirated 29 of my works, everything I've published until 2022, including 13 novels.
As Harlan Ellison would say: Fuck you, pay me.
As Harlan Ellison would say: Fuck you, pay me.
Best I can do is this guy.
September 6, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Best I can do is this guy.
Hey, we can save PNGs to birds now, so Doom isn't such a stretch.
July 29, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Hey, we can save PNGs to birds now, so Doom isn't such a stretch.
You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?
July 21, 2025 at 1:27 AM
You've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature?
Please to be enjoying this exclusive footage of mama and baby porpentine wrestling in our front yard at four in the morning.
July 18, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Please to be enjoying this exclusive footage of mama and baby porpentine wrestling in our front yard at four in the morning.