Marjory Ruderman
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marjowhee.bsky.social
Marjory Ruderman
@marjowhee.bsky.social
930 followers 900 following 200 posts
Writer of kidlit & humor & other stuff.
Differently wired cheerful curmudgeon.
she/her
Rep: Kathryn Green Literary Agency

marjoryruderman.com
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marjowhee.bsky.social
Me and the three people who read my posts
The cast of The Golden Girls. Rue McClanahan (Blanche) leans on the back of a sofa, smiling. Sitting on the sofa, Estelle Getty (Sophia), Bea Arthur (Dorothy), and Betty White (Rose) look varying degrees of annoyed and disapproving.
January 14, 2025 at 10:13 AM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Totally reasonable review of a book by a British author about British characters living in Britain.
Screenshot of a book review that says "Too Much British English!! Trying to read this but find all the British English NOT fun to read. Lot of British Slang I don't understand and have to google. Just sorry I bought this book."
December 5, 2024 at 12:49 AM
marjowhee.bsky.social
This isn't a meme, but it features a cat and I think it's funny. Before and after pics for a feeding mat ad. The after pic with mat is certainly tidier. Compared to, you know, dumping the bag of kibble directly onto the floor.
Photos from an Amazon listing for a silicone pet feeding mat. In the "before" photo, a cat stands in front of a pile of kibble scattered all over the wood floor in front of a couch. In the "after" photo, a bowl containing kibble sits on a feeding mat.
December 4, 2024 at 8:42 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Done?!
A still shot from a Geico commercial showing a gecko on a counter with a living room in the background
November 24, 2024 at 2:13 AM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Like I needed another elder certification 👵🏼
Bluesky notification celebrating ten million users that says I was number 364,835, in the first 10 percent, and "bluesky elder certified."
September 18, 2024 at 1:01 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
A small breakfast to tide me over until elevenses.
A cup of coffee next to a pile of two dozen pancakes.
July 20, 2024 at 2:05 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
May I suggest
Photo of a bowl of batter next to pancakes cooking, with the caption "emotional support pancakes"
June 28, 2024 at 3:26 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
please pass the cheese rind
Raccoon sitting in a trash can, a piece of food in its hand, mouth partially open. Speech bubble says "This is the problem with creative people. Their self-image is divided into two parts. One thinks that they’re a genius who will one day create a masterpiece of such breathtaking brilliance that it will still be discussed with reverence hundreds of years later. The other part thinks they are trash raccoons rooting around in the dark and coming up with nothing but more trash. There is no in-between. It’s either super genius or trash raccoon. Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, Jesse Q. Sutanto"
February 16, 2024 at 4:16 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
I was going to say they're very Nick Frost from Spaced, but no. Yours are much more, um, pronounced.
Photo of Nick Frost from the 1999 sitcom Spaced, wearing very large eyeglasses with yellow-tinted lenses.
February 8, 2024 at 5:53 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Here's my bowl cut.
Old photo of a young girl with a haircut that looks like a bowl, sitting in a grownup's lap in a field, holding a frisbee
February 7, 2024 at 9:33 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Forget "me at 21." I want to see your peak awkward phase.

I’ll start.
Scrawny pre-adolescent girl with prominent teeth and hunched posture, wearing a too-big Raleigh Lights (cigarettes) baseball cap and a shirt with long pointy collar drooping over a bright striped sweater.
February 7, 2024 at 3:14 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Spotted: Outhouse for sale on Facebook marketplace. The listing specifies "man made," so it was definitely not made by a bear trying to catch you with your pants around your ankles.
Photo of an outhouse toilet made of a wooden seat attached to an upside-down orange-and-white-striped traffic cone.
January 2, 2024 at 5:08 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
New Year's Resolutions 2024:

1. Entirely new management

2. A clean, truthful, wide awake household

3. Paper

Lithograph by Louis John Rhead, 1895
1895 Morning Journal art nouveau advertisement. Saturated blue, yellow, and red colors. Two women in long gowns flank the writing, which looks like a sign and says "Entirely new management. A clean truthful wide awake household paper. Morning Journal. A modern newspaper at a modern price. Daily 1 cent. Sunday 3 cents." A rooster stands atop the sign, crowing in front of sun rays depicting the start of a new day.
January 2, 2024 at 1:52 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Texting with my orthodontist
Orthodontist texts asking for photos of the teeth. "Please make sure you are biting all the way down so we can see how your bite is fitting together." Reply is a photo of Amy Sedaris as her Strangers with Candy character Jerri Blank, with a funny expression and Jerri's characteristic overbite.
November 9, 2023 at 3:06 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Rejection letter redaction in two moods
Rejection letter with text redacted, leaving only "Dear Marjory, We love you. Kind regards" Rejection letter with text redacted, leaving only "Dear Marjory Ruderman, you are absurd"
November 5, 2023 at 1:44 AM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Groups are hard! I don't have any advice, but this convo reminded me of this.
Caption says Me if I was Alice. Image shows Cheshire Cat in tree saying "we are all mad here." Alice says "at me?"
September 16, 2023 at 11:14 AM
marjowhee.bsky.social
making some noise for you
Hand activating an emergency fog horn
September 6, 2023 at 2:11 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Schrödinger’s Laundry Basket

the clothes are simultaneously clean and dirty
Laundry basket full of clothes and a cat
August 29, 2023 at 1:23 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Me after writing a scene that consists of nothing but one character explaining something until everyone dies of boredom
The face of Energy Vampire Colin Robinson from the tv show What We Do in the Shadows, immediately after feeding on a coworker's energy by boring the life out of them
August 21, 2023 at 9:32 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Me checking in on my friends
Naked mole rat peering out of a dark hole into sunlight
August 18, 2023 at 12:48 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
Comma doing important work
Text message that first says "no pizza is fine" followed by a correction that says " I meant no, comma, pizza is fine"
August 1, 2023 at 10:37 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
In case you missed my repulsive newsletter:
https://www.marjoryruderman.com/blog/this-post-is-a-waste-of-time
July 31, 2023 at 4:43 PM
marjowhee.bsky.social
New drop! 👋🏼
Screenshot of Squishmallow Instagram post showing their new drop, Marjorie. The Squishmallow spelling is "corrected" to Marjory with a Y instead of I-E. Caption says "meet Marjory, the most adorable hairless 'Mallow we ever did see! Add her to your squad at..." [here the handle @marjowhee is inserted].
July 25, 2023 at 1:28 AM