Marjan Venema 🌻
@marjanvenema.bsky.social
After 60 years with an undiagnosed neurodivergent brain, I talk about "difficult" women and how to break free from conditioned people-pleasing & self-limitation so you can be you again.
3 benefits of reinstating 'frivolous' pleasures for incorrigible self-effacers
Frivolous pleasures? Are you mad? No self-respecting (recovering) self-effacer would engage in those.
Right?
Frivolous pleasures? Are you mad? No self-respecting (recovering) self-effacer would engage in those.
Right?
October 30, 2025 at 10:11 AM
3 benefits of reinstating 'frivolous' pleasures for incorrigible self-effacers
Frivolous pleasures? Are you mad? No self-respecting (recovering) self-effacer would engage in those.
Right?
Frivolous pleasures? Are you mad? No self-respecting (recovering) self-effacer would engage in those.
Right?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 "𝗡𝗼" 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲
For most of my life — I didn't realize "no" was an answer too.
The results
- Feeling I was out of control of my time and life
- Resenting requests
- Avoiding asking for help
It wasn’t pretty.
8 lessons I learned...
For most of my life — I didn't realize "no" was an answer too.
The results
- Feeling I was out of control of my time and life
- Resenting requests
- Avoiding asking for help
It wasn’t pretty.
8 lessons I learned...
October 17, 2025 at 9:01 AM
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆 "𝗡𝗼" 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲
For most of my life — I didn't realize "no" was an answer too.
The results
- Feeling I was out of control of my time and life
- Resenting requests
- Avoiding asking for help
It wasn’t pretty.
8 lessons I learned...
For most of my life — I didn't realize "no" was an answer too.
The results
- Feeling I was out of control of my time and life
- Resenting requests
- Avoiding asking for help
It wasn’t pretty.
8 lessons I learned...
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸
There are a lot of books about developing the mindset and confidence to live your life they way you want to. To cater to your wants, needs, and desires.
And I've read most of them.
But the best ...
There are a lot of books about developing the mindset and confidence to live your life they way you want to. To cater to your wants, needs, and desires.
And I've read most of them.
But the best ...
October 16, 2025 at 9:01 AM
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸
There are a lot of books about developing the mindset and confidence to live your life they way you want to. To cater to your wants, needs, and desires.
And I've read most of them.
But the best ...
There are a lot of books about developing the mindset and confidence to live your life they way you want to. To cater to your wants, needs, and desires.
And I've read most of them.
But the best ...
Your world doesn't implode (or explode) around you when you start strategically refusing requests.
October 15, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Your world doesn't implode (or explode) around you when you start strategically refusing requests.
Avoid these mistakes if you're serious about reclaiming precious time by strategically refusing requests.
October 14, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Avoid these mistakes if you're serious about reclaiming precious time by strategically refusing requests.
Reclaim precious time by strategically refusing requests that are not yours to execute — even if you have done so up until now.
October 13, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Reclaim precious time by strategically refusing requests that are not yours to execute — even if you have done so up until now.
Stop mentioning husbands when celebrating women!
October 12, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Stop mentioning husbands when celebrating women!
The wonders of a neurodivergent brain.
October 11, 2025 at 9:00 AM
The wonders of a neurodivergent brain.
Big, weak egos and a neuro-divide, are what stirred up trouble for me all my life.
October 9, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Big, weak egos and a neuro-divide, are what stirred up trouble for me all my life.
People pleasers think they never say "No". They're probably wrong. Like I was.
October 8, 2025 at 9:00 AM
People pleasers think they never say "No". They're probably wrong. Like I was.
Keeping my Maven engaged with journeys down rabbit hole that also serve a purpose.
October 7, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Keeping my Maven engaged with journeys down rabbit hole that also serve a purpose.
I don't like goals, especially not SMART ones, but if I am to have one, this is it.
October 6, 2025 at 9:00 AM
I don't like goals, especially not SMART ones, but if I am to have one, this is it.
Letting fear of judgement/ridicule inhibit your playful nature? Don't!
October 5, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Letting fear of judgement/ridicule inhibit your playful nature? Don't!
Hopped back on the Ship 30 challenge. Here's why.
October 4, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Hopped back on the Ship 30 challenge. Here's why.
I was convinced that having a hunting dog doesn't necessarily mean you need to take up hunt training. Nina, a Field Trial Labrador, and the epitome of a working retriever, changed my mind. Read the story on 42 Sidenotes (link below in comment).
#changeyourmind
#changeyourmind
September 19, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I was convinced that having a hunting dog doesn't necessarily mean you need to take up hunt training. Nina, a Field Trial Labrador, and the epitome of a working retriever, changed my mind. Read the story on 42 Sidenotes (link below in comment).
#changeyourmind
#changeyourmind
From fear to action. The gap isn't as big as you might think.
Article drops tomorrow on 42 Sidenotes.
Article drops tomorrow on 42 Sidenotes.
August 6, 2025 at 10:22 AM
From fear to action. The gap isn't as big as you might think.
Article drops tomorrow on 42 Sidenotes.
Article drops tomorrow on 42 Sidenotes.
BOOM! It dropped yesterday (which I neglected to broadcast), but... it's alive!
Ban the crickets: Your secret weapon against overwhelm & being ignored
(Link below in comments)
Ban the crickets: Your secret weapon against overwhelm & being ignored
(Link below in comments)
July 17, 2025 at 1:51 PM
BOOM! It dropped yesterday (which I neglected to broadcast), but... it's alive!
Ban the crickets: Your secret weapon against overwhelm & being ignored
(Link below in comments)
Ban the crickets: Your secret weapon against overwhelm & being ignored
(Link below in comments)
Dropping tomorrow!
Agile practice for creatives.
Agile practice for creatives.
July 15, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Dropping tomorrow!
Agile practice for creatives.
Agile practice for creatives.
𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀, 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀.
They are four statements on how to be wealthy and happy by Jim Rohn (*) in 1981:
1. Work harder on yourself than on your job.
2. Income does not far exceed personal development.
>
They are four statements on how to be wealthy and happy by Jim Rohn (*) in 1981:
1. Work harder on yourself than on your job.
2. Income does not far exceed personal development.
>
July 9, 2025 at 2:54 PM
𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀, 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀.
They are four statements on how to be wealthy and happy by Jim Rohn (*) in 1981:
1. Work harder on yourself than on your job.
2. Income does not far exceed personal development.
>
They are four statements on how to be wealthy and happy by Jim Rohn (*) in 1981:
1. Work harder on yourself than on your job.
2. Income does not far exceed personal development.
>
Me on AI: statistically inspired text prediction software.
Emily Bender and Alex Hanna on AI: synthetic text extrusion machines.
Steve Lane on AI: Endless Lies and Screwups
>
Emily Bender and Alex Hanna on AI: synthetic text extrusion machines.
Steve Lane on AI: Endless Lies and Screwups
>
July 8, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Me on AI: statistically inspired text prediction software.
Emily Bender and Alex Hanna on AI: synthetic text extrusion machines.
Steve Lane on AI: Endless Lies and Screwups
>
Emily Bender and Alex Hanna on AI: synthetic text extrusion machines.
Steve Lane on AI: Endless Lies and Screwups
>
Bloody computer crash annihilated what I wrote as a result of binge watching videos on Carl Jung psychology. Unless I can salvage it from the depths of my subconscious, it's lost to the world. The world may not care, but I do.
July 5, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Bloody computer crash annihilated what I wrote as a result of binge watching videos on Carl Jung psychology. Unless I can salvage it from the depths of my subconscious, it's lost to the world. The world may not care, but I do.
Highly recommend reading "Why You May Be More Emotionally Mature Than You Think" by Ryan Delaney on his "Beyond Self Improvement" publication, listing 31 signs of emotional maturity.
(Link in comment.)
...
(Link in comment.)
...
July 2, 2025 at 8:24 AM
Highly recommend reading "Why You May Be More Emotionally Mature Than You Think" by Ryan Delaney on his "Beyond Self Improvement" publication, listing 31 signs of emotional maturity.
(Link in comment.)
...
(Link in comment.)
...
"5 radical principles that go against everything women are taught about work" by Rachel Lawlan. (The link to this is below in a comment).
Very good piece. And not only because it mentions Buurtzorg and what we as women can learn from that example (I’m Dutch 😇).
Very good piece. And not only because it mentions Buurtzorg and what we as women can learn from that example (I’m Dutch 😇).
July 2, 2025 at 8:21 AM
"5 radical principles that go against everything women are taught about work" by Rachel Lawlan. (The link to this is below in a comment).
Very good piece. And not only because it mentions Buurtzorg and what we as women can learn from that example (I’m Dutch 😇).
Very good piece. And not only because it mentions Buurtzorg and what we as women can learn from that example (I’m Dutch 😇).
Neither is 'authenticity'!
Authenticity is not 'letting it all hang out'.
Authenticity is not behaving inconsiderately.
Authenticity is staying within your integrity -- your values, your truth -- while adjusting to (considering your impact on) others.
Authenticity is not 'letting it all hang out'.
Authenticity is not behaving inconsiderately.
Authenticity is staying within your integrity -- your values, your truth -- while adjusting to (considering your impact on) others.
June 10, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Neither is 'authenticity'!
Authenticity is not 'letting it all hang out'.
Authenticity is not behaving inconsiderately.
Authenticity is staying within your integrity -- your values, your truth -- while adjusting to (considering your impact on) others.
Authenticity is not 'letting it all hang out'.
Authenticity is not behaving inconsiderately.
Authenticity is staying within your integrity -- your values, your truth -- while adjusting to (considering your impact on) others.