Mallory Where
@malwhere.northsky.social
she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
there's a running gag in this movie where Catwoman is very clearly in a position that implies she's just straight up touching Batman's dick
January 23, 2026 at 5:59 AM
there's a running gag in this movie where Catwoman is very clearly in a position that implies she's just straight up touching Batman's dick
Batman is entirely unserious as a franchise, and the way you can tell this is that Bruce Wayne is always pictured as The Nice, Morally Good Billionaire, and none of the other billionaires ever approach him like "Hey we found this amazing racket, you want us to cut you in?"
January 23, 2026 at 5:59 AM
Batman is entirely unserious as a franchise, and the way you can tell this is that Bruce Wayne is always pictured as The Nice, Morally Good Billionaire, and none of the other billionaires ever approach him like "Hey we found this amazing racket, you want us to cut you in?"
oh the Penguin's just doing the biblical plagues? He's killing everyone's firstborns???? What?????? HE JUST SHOOTS A GUY DEAD?????
January 23, 2026 at 5:54 AM
oh the Penguin's just doing the biblical plagues? He's killing everyone's firstborns???? What?????? HE JUST SHOOTS A GUY DEAD?????
like and subscribe if you want me to stop
January 23, 2026 at 5:52 AM
like and subscribe if you want me to stop
"I played this stinking city like a harp from hell!" why does the Danny DeVito Penguin talk like trump
January 23, 2026 at 5:51 AM
"I played this stinking city like a harp from hell!" why does the Danny DeVito Penguin talk like trump
So in this movie the batmobile's armor is an anti-theft device, like an advanced version of one of those bars you stick between the spokes of the steering wheel. But his still gets stolen and hotwired by that gang of clowns in their clown chop shop
January 23, 2026 at 5:38 AM
So in this movie the batmobile's armor is an anti-theft device, like an advanced version of one of those bars you stick between the spokes of the steering wheel. But his still gets stolen and hotwired by that gang of clowns in their clown chop shop
On the other hand Michelle Pfeiffer is wearing a latex suit, holding a bull whip, and saying "I want to play an integral role in his degradation" so it's impossible to say if it's bad or not
January 23, 2026 at 5:28 AM
On the other hand Michelle Pfeiffer is wearing a latex suit, holding a bull whip, and saying "I want to play an integral role in his degradation" so it's impossible to say if it's bad or not
oh my god Catwoman is in The Penguin's room and he actually says "Just the pussy I've been looking for"
January 23, 2026 at 5:25 AM
oh my god Catwoman is in The Penguin's room and he actually says "Just the pussy I've been looking for"
Michelle Pfeiffer plays Catwoman as just completely out of her gourd and loving every moment of the whole cat schtick and she's doing like a Seven of Nine voice? It's kinda great
January 23, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Michelle Pfeiffer plays Catwoman as just completely out of her gourd and loving every moment of the whole cat schtick and she's doing like a Seven of Nine voice? It's kinda great
batman casually blows a guy up with dynamite
January 23, 2026 at 5:18 AM
batman casually blows a guy up with dynamite
This movie really wants it both ways, huh? It's the choreographed dance-fighting clowns of the Adam West Batman and the dark, gritty atmosphere of a Benadryl overdose
January 23, 2026 at 5:15 AM
This movie really wants it both ways, huh? It's the choreographed dance-fighting clowns of the Adam West Batman and the dark, gritty atmosphere of a Benadryl overdose
DeVito's Penguin is like a disturbing dirty old man
January 23, 2026 at 5:13 AM
DeVito's Penguin is like a disturbing dirty old man
I miss this era of Batman movies when the batcave was just an actual cave with bats. Some sweet-ass tricked-out crags. He's just down there in a turtleneck and trendy glasses, Doing Research
January 23, 2026 at 4:59 AM
I miss this era of Batman movies when the batcave was just an actual cave with bats. Some sweet-ass tricked-out crags. He's just down there in a turtleneck and trendy glasses, Doing Research
OH FUCK THIS IS THE MICHAEL KEATON BATMAN
I LOVE HIM
YOU'RE TOO PURE FOR THIS MOVIE MICHAEL
I LOVE HIM
YOU'RE TOO PURE FOR THIS MOVIE MICHAEL
January 23, 2026 at 4:57 AM
OH FUCK THIS IS THE MICHAEL KEATON BATMAN
I LOVE HIM
YOU'RE TOO PURE FOR THIS MOVIE MICHAEL
I LOVE HIM
YOU'RE TOO PURE FOR THIS MOVIE MICHAEL
it's so weird and he's also just like casually Wearing Cravats and stuff, it's giving Evil Paul Revere
January 23, 2026 at 4:52 AM
it's so weird and he's also just like casually Wearing Cravats and stuff, it's giving Evil Paul Revere
Walken has GREAT cheekbones on him, though. I'd kill for bone structure like that. How is this not a Baz Luhrmann movie honestly? Everything is weird and stylized and OH MY GOD I FORGOT THE CATS ALL JUST FUCKING BITE HER
January 23, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Walken has GREAT cheekbones on him, though. I'd kill for bone structure like that. How is this not a Baz Luhrmann movie honestly? Everything is weird and stylized and OH MY GOD I FORGOT THE CATS ALL JUST FUCKING BITE HER
Christopher Walken as Mayor Fuckface looks eerily like George Washington, I can't unsee it
January 23, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Christopher Walken as Mayor Fuckface looks eerily like George Washington, I can't unsee it
Catwoman's apartment high-key fucks though
January 23, 2026 at 4:44 AM
Catwoman's apartment high-key fucks though
I haven't seen it in YEARS, I forgot how BONKERS it is !!!
January 23, 2026 at 4:42 AM
I haven't seen it in YEARS, I forgot how BONKERS it is !!!
HOLY SHIT I FORGOT DANNY DEVITO IS IN THIS MOVIE
January 23, 2026 at 4:41 AM
HOLY SHIT I FORGOT DANNY DEVITO IS IN THIS MOVIE
Holy shit I forgot Christopher Walken was in this movie
January 23, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Holy shit I forgot Christopher Walken was in this movie
I’m not going to link it here because the whole album is pretransition and I don’t want to blow my cover but I invoked the lie of the “red delicious” apple, I covered “that’s the pits,” I believe there was a “we cantaloupe”, and a “honeydew me a favor: don’t come around here anymore”
January 23, 2026 at 2:58 AM
I’m not going to link it here because the whole album is pretransition and I don’t want to blow my cover but I invoked the lie of the “red delicious” apple, I covered “that’s the pits,” I believe there was a “we cantaloupe”, and a “honeydew me a favor: don’t come around here anymore”