Mallory Where
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malwhere.northsky.social
Mallory Where
@malwhere.northsky.social
1.8K followers 900 following 7.3K posts
she/it
bad for your computer
literally a lesbian from california
blursed with the wisdom of tiresias
too pretty to proofread my skeets
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malwhere.northsky.social
lmao okay
Screenshot of the detail pane on a label that has been applied to the original post by @labeler.hailey.at classifying it as “Likely NSFW”
January 21, 2026 at 4:50 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
I think my hair looks pretty today
Mirror selfie of a white woman with brown hair. She is wearing a white long-sleeve top and blue jeans, and she has a full face of makeup and a gold necklace. Her hair looks pretty today.
January 21, 2026 at 4:47 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
Instagram algorithm update: I am now getting suggested posts about lesbian life in Germany
Screenshot of an Instagram video post by an account called re_car_duh with a woman in a sweater in a car dealership, captioned “Lesben im Autohaus:”
January 20, 2026 at 11:56 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
of *course* the dykiest photo I have of myself still has me wearing a full face of makeup smdh
Mirror selfie of a white woman with brown hair; she is wearing a collar and a white crop top that reads “I didn’t clock you, I just think you’re hot” and light washed, ripped blue jeans cut off a bit above the ankles
January 20, 2026 at 10:13 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
Etsy knows enough about me to know I want to shop for collars and yet somehow not enough to know that I don’t want “fake collars for women,” I want REAL collars for DOG WOMEN smdh
Screenshot from the Etsy app where the suggested search pre-populated in the search bar reads “Search for ‘fake collars for women’.”
January 18, 2026 at 2:48 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
Turns out domme-y date night Mallory is a whole other uh fuckin vibe 👀
Mirror selfie of a white woman with brown hair. She is wearing black boot cut jeans, black boots, a wine-red leopard print top, a black jacket, and a black statement necklace. She’s also wearing bright red lipstick and her makeup is on fucking point.
January 16, 2026 at 3:33 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
this fucking game called me bitchless
screenshot of elden ring with subtitle reading "But you, I am afraid, are maidenless"
January 14, 2026 at 4:50 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
me: "Hi bank, I asked you to change my name last month and it looks like my name at birth is still on my account. Here are my documents; please update it. tysm! --Mallory"

bank: "HI THERE [DEADNAME]! I'M HAPPY TO HELP YOU WITH THAT! YEP, [DEADNAME], YOU'RE RIGHT, WE HAVEN'T CHANGED IT"
Hello [deadname], Thank you for contacting us. I will be glad to review your request. We appreciate your writing to us. [Deadname], we confirm the checking account is not updated with your new name.
January 10, 2026 at 7:23 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
The Tex-Mex place with the huge margs moved to Pier Fucking 39 for some reason, so: change of plans
Photo of a plate of pan-fried chicken dumplings and a partially-consumed glass of draft beer
January 10, 2026 at 6:26 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
Local woman has dysphoria at work, tries to fix it by getting attention on bluesky; news at 11
Bathroom mirror selfie of a white woman with brown hair. She is wearing blue jeans and a dark turquoise top with a black puffy jacket over it. She’s wearing a full face of relatively subtle makeup. She is taking the selfie with a phone in a pink case and she has a burgundy purse slung over her shoulder.
January 9, 2026 at 11:17 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
magical things are happening when I pout about the dommes ganging up on me
Discord screenshot reading "Aw it's thinking of unionizing!"
January 8, 2026 at 7:04 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
I love when men show up, ignore the part of my bio that spells out that I’m a lesbian, call me a princess, say they’re Williams, and then get vaporized
Chat requests Deleted Account • 4h Hey princess ❤️ I'm Williams Not followed by anyone you're following Delete chat
January 8, 2026 at 3:40 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
We’re so fucking pretty, is the thing
A selfie of two femmes in jackets at the 49th street metro stop in manhattan
January 5, 2026 at 1:33 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
hot femmes are kissing each other in your area
Two femmes in dresses kissing. The one on the left is blonde and wearing a floral print dress with long sleeves. The one on the right has brown hair and glasses and is wearing a sleeveless gray dress.
January 4, 2026 at 2:36 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
this gyre is some bullshit
Draft post: So I turned into the gyre and it started widening and turning more. And I said to myself, That sucks but what can you do, it’s the job I guess. And then I stopped being able to hear the falconer. And everybody was real mad, and they were yelling something about the center not holding, and I was just like ‘fuck, how am I going to get a vole out of this thing’ (60 characters over the limit)
January 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
I think about this tweet not less than once every couple of weeks
soul nate @MNateShyamalan [first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: there's a star boss: you have to watch the sheep? why would you leave for a star me: [shrugging] baby 7:53 AM • Dec 25, 2022
January 2, 2026 at 11:49 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
“AI’s getting really good, it almost sounds plausibly human now; soon it will supplant our greatest experts”
Screenshot of a chat request on bluesky from emilyjackson872.bsky.social saying “Hey how are you from”
December 30, 2025 at 2:56 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
I’m reminded of some Discourse about eggs from like a million years ago
Screenshot of a quote skeet @elliesprites.bsky.social: People should really just consider to NEVER call ANYONE an egg. It's so fucking weird. Telling a cis person "I think you're secretly trans" is almost (almost) as bad as telling a trans person you don't think they're really trans. Don't do that. Trust that people have their own shit figured out. @malwhere.bzky.team, QTing in response: This line of reasoning tacitly presupposes that trans people and cis people are approximately equally likely to have carefully considered their gender identity, an assumption that is incredibly funny if you think about it for even two seconds
December 29, 2025 at 4:11 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
hey quick question question uhhhhhh what the fuck
Photo of the back of a Toyota suv where there’s a micky mouse sticker with a thin blue line flag superimposed over it
December 27, 2025 at 5:35 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
[honk]
Zoomed in photo of Jair Bolsonaro in a hospital bed with a tube in his nose making a face
December 25, 2025 at 7:12 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
I told my mom and she had to send a group text to get people to take the names off of their gifts
My mom: Was just informed that you should not sign the gift tag to your recipient with your name. Sign from Secret Santa. We'll open 1 gift at a time, then the person has to guess who their secret Santa is. Then that person opens their gift and guesses who their secret Santa is, and so on. Me: This is the “secret” part of secret santa Me: Otherwise it’s just regular santa
December 25, 2025 at 12:14 AM
malwhere.northsky.social
God. Has anyone ever been as pretty as Rita Hayworth in The Lady From Shanghai? In this frame she’s supposed to have literally just gotten out of the ocean after a swim. Fuck off
Still frame of a Rita Hayworth close-up from The Lady From Shanghai
December 20, 2025 at 5:47 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
draft skeet: "democratic policies are all like "oh uh excuse me, we have to means-test this bill and make it revenue neutral oh I'm so sorry it actually helps like 30% of the country with energy costs in the long term, we're all very ashamed for doing anything," meanwhile every republican president in my lifetime has been like "we are adding $10 trillion to the debt and canceling libraries, global AIDS relief, and everyone's healthcare to pay for machines that make a nutrient rich slurry out of poor people and we're gonna make piña coladas out of it and serve them on Jeff Bezos's yacht. no not that yacht. the big one. the biggest one in the world" get fucking real"
December 17, 2025 at 4:53 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
look this DOES look like the Majestic 12 logo from Deus Ex but more importantly WHY IS IT A BUNCH OF HANDS GRABBING AT AN ORB WHEN SOCCER FAMOUSLY IS HOSTILE TO TOUCHING THE BALL WITH YOUR DAMN HANDS
Magnificent 12 hand asset from Deus Ex
December 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
malwhere.northsky.social
sorry, just,
"Sometimes the hog cranks you, cowboy..." in the style of a Cowboy Bebop end card
December 4, 2025 at 1:07 AM