Macrae McDermott
@macraemcd.bsky.social
Missing Twitter of yore and my TikTok community. Hoping I can find some safety and comfort here. Sending love to anyone else out there needing some tenderness right now.
- Went no contact with my mom and lost my sisters in the process
- Was caught in an active shooter situation
- The place I was living was shot on multiple occasions
- My best friend died
I need to leave Utah, but have no where to go and see no way out.
- Was caught in an active shooter situation
- The place I was living was shot on multiple occasions
- My best friend died
I need to leave Utah, but have no where to go and see no way out.
October 30, 2025 at 12:12 PM
- Went no contact with my mom and lost my sisters in the process
- Was caught in an active shooter situation
- The place I was living was shot on multiple occasions
- My best friend died
I need to leave Utah, but have no where to go and see no way out.
- Was caught in an active shooter situation
- The place I was living was shot on multiple occasions
- My best friend died
I need to leave Utah, but have no where to go and see no way out.
- 2 wrist surgeries
- PCOS diagnosis
- hEDS diagnosis
- Underwent MS testing
- Dad diagnosed with Parkinson’s
- Was followed and cornered by road rage driver
- Left at a rest stop hours from home by my mom
- Kicked out of the house by my mom and became homeless
- PCOS diagnosis
- hEDS diagnosis
- Underwent MS testing
- Dad diagnosed with Parkinson’s
- Was followed and cornered by road rage driver
- Left at a rest stop hours from home by my mom
- Kicked out of the house by my mom and became homeless
October 30, 2025 at 12:12 PM
- 2 wrist surgeries
- PCOS diagnosis
- hEDS diagnosis
- Underwent MS testing
- Dad diagnosed with Parkinson’s
- Was followed and cornered by road rage driver
- Left at a rest stop hours from home by my mom
- Kicked out of the house by my mom and became homeless
- PCOS diagnosis
- hEDS diagnosis
- Underwent MS testing
- Dad diagnosed with Parkinson’s
- Was followed and cornered by road rage driver
- Left at a rest stop hours from home by my mom
- Kicked out of the house by my mom and became homeless
T/W: Trauma Dump (although I doubt anyone will see this anyway)
Events that have led me here (not to mention COVID, the current administration, and previous trauma):
- Had to leave NYC and go to Utah for neck surgery
- Took a job that lied to me about the role
- Was fired for the first time
Events that have led me here (not to mention COVID, the current administration, and previous trauma):
- Had to leave NYC and go to Utah for neck surgery
- Took a job that lied to me about the role
- Was fired for the first time
October 30, 2025 at 12:12 PM
T/W: Trauma Dump (although I doubt anyone will see this anyway)
Events that have led me here (not to mention COVID, the current administration, and previous trauma):
- Had to leave NYC and go to Utah for neck surgery
- Took a job that lied to me about the role
- Was fired for the first time
Events that have led me here (not to mention COVID, the current administration, and previous trauma):
- Had to leave NYC and go to Utah for neck surgery
- Took a job that lied to me about the role
- Was fired for the first time
My boomerang ex texted me again. You would be rolling your eyes so hard and wondering, as always, what the hell is wrong with him. You hated him because of how he treated me. You hated him when I wasn’t ready to. I wish you were here to mock him with me now. I hate this. I miss you.
September 3, 2025 at 7:20 PM
My boomerang ex texted me again. You would be rolling your eyes so hard and wondering, as always, what the hell is wrong with him. You hated him because of how he treated me. You hated him when I wasn’t ready to. I wish you were here to mock him with me now. I hate this. I miss you.
Cat Burns - All This Love (Visualiser)
YouTube video by CatBurnsVEVO
youtube.com
August 20, 2025 at 3:38 AM
I miss you every single day.
August 20, 2025 at 2:41 AM
I miss you every single day.
I miss you so much I feel like I can’t breathe. I started playing old voice texts, and I can’t believe you aren’t here. You feel so close. But you’re gone. I hate this.
August 20, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I miss you so much I feel like I can’t breathe. I started playing old voice texts, and I can’t believe you aren’t here. You feel so close. But you’re gone. I hate this.
Feeling lost and overwhelmed.
Sitting in Starbucks.
Missing you more than anything.
Sitting in Starbucks.
Missing you more than anything.
August 4, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Feeling lost and overwhelmed.
Sitting in Starbucks.
Missing you more than anything.
Sitting in Starbucks.
Missing you more than anything.
I wanted to send you this, but you’ll never see it. Everything feels wrong. Everything is broken. You should be here.
July 23, 2025 at 4:11 AM
I wanted to send you this, but you’ll never see it. Everything feels wrong. Everything is broken. You should be here.
I started scrolling through our Instagram DMs and now I feel like I can’t breathe. I hate this. I miss you so much more than I could ever say.
July 23, 2025 at 4:08 AM
I started scrolling through our Instagram DMs and now I feel like I can’t breathe. I hate this. I miss you so much more than I could ever say.
You should still be here.
July 11, 2025 at 5:44 PM
You should still be here.
I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself. I know I need to sleep, but I can’t and don’t want to. I don’t want to go to sleep and have to wake up and remember again that you’re gone.
July 11, 2025 at 6:29 AM
I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself. I know I need to sleep, but I can’t and don’t want to. I don’t want to go to sleep and have to wake up and remember again that you’re gone.
I miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone before.
July 11, 2025 at 5:26 AM
I miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone before.
I wish you were still here.
July 11, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I wish you were still here.
And things you would have absolutely hated (the way you were made up, a certain guest who we all wanted to drop kick, what Adam and I telepathically were screaming about). I wish we could talk about all of it.
July 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
And things you would have absolutely hated (the way you were made up, a certain guest who we all wanted to drop kick, what Adam and I telepathically were screaming about). I wish we could talk about all of it.
Today was the service. I wish I could tell you all about it. There were things you would have loved (the musical numbers especially “Seasons of Love”, how many of us went to Starbucks for iced coffees, how hard we all hugged each other because we couldn’t hug you).
July 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Today was the service. I wish I could tell you all about it. There were things you would have loved (the musical numbers especially “Seasons of Love”, how many of us went to Starbucks for iced coffees, how hard we all hugged each other because we couldn’t hug you).
I just keep thinking about all the things we’ve talked about a billion times and that we’ll never talk about again. Like how fucking good coffee is. I just had a cup and I should be texting him right now. We should be geeking out at this exact moment. And instead, he’s gone. None of this is right.
July 9, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I just keep thinking about all the things we’ve talked about a billion times and that we’ll never talk about again. Like how fucking good coffee is. I just had a cup and I should be texting him right now. We should be geeking out at this exact moment. And instead, he’s gone. None of this is right.
mourn forever while standing still, but I just don’t want to move on without him. I would rather mourn him than have him start to fade. To just be someone I think of every now and then. It feels like I’ll be losing him all over again.
July 9, 2025 at 7:19 PM
mourn forever while standing still, but I just don’t want to move on without him. I would rather mourn him than have him start to fade. To just be someone I think of every now and then. It feels like I’ll be losing him all over again.
Tomorrow is the service, and I’m dreading that too. Nothing could keep me away, but it feels too final. Like this will really be it. Being in the sea of mourning makes him feel like he’s still close enough to touch. But after tomorrow I’m afraid it will just be life moving forward. I know I can’t
July 9, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Tomorrow is the service, and I’m dreading that too. Nothing could keep me away, but it feels too final. Like this will really be it. Being in the sea of mourning makes him feel like he’s still close enough to touch. But after tomorrow I’m afraid it will just be life moving forward. I know I can’t
I can’t read it knowing that I won’t be able to answer him. That the conversation is really done. I hate this.
July 9, 2025 at 7:09 PM
I can’t read it knowing that I won’t be able to answer him. That the conversation is really done. I hate this.
I can’t bring myself to open the last text I got from him. It’s sitting there pinned, breaking my heart. It feels too final. Like really saying goodbye. I just can’t.
July 9, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I can’t bring myself to open the last text I got from him. It’s sitting there pinned, breaking my heart. It feels too final. Like really saying goodbye. I just can’t.