'Just leave' is what people say when they genuinely don't get it. Attachment = survival. We need to provide people with real, warm options, and lots of support!

It helps people survive. It's automatic, part of our survival instinct, not within our control. It works so that we stay alive and, hopefully, can have the opportunity to choose to attach to those who love us.

Attachment is human, a major help in survival. We're hard-wired to connect with others, and too often, the other 'others' out there are the abusers - for a while.

It's also a cultural message of denial and avoidance, 'cheap grace'. Healing isn't a 'jump', it's a journey.

Hope many people will copy and share!

Here's something else:

America can have nice things when we remove rethuglicans and cancel conservaturds.

They also don't look down on you in any way, or think they can fix you. You're not broken. You carry the results of other people's brutality and neglect. Showing up in therapy is a sign of deep courage and an innate capacity to heal.

It helps to keep your eyes open, gaze at something benign, and breathe in a regular, steady rhythm.

When there are few, if any, options, 'choosing' seldom includes choices the person would really want to make. For instance, how often to people actually get to say "No" and have that accepted with no repercussions?

It's actually helpful to do that. It's a way of saying that person is capable of learning how to self-regulate, and they are - if they are open to learning.

Break an old rule, and expect a backlash. Prepare for it - with support from self and others. Actually, a backlash may be an opportunity to celebrate!