im going to be forgotten and itll be my fault

a good chunk of the people that i look to for comfort dont like me as much as i like them and they certainly dont care for me the way i need which is okay given i havnt told them that i need that or even hinted and like yknow theyre humans so ??? can i just not be a controlling freak maybe

i dont know if theres a worse punishment than having my devices taken away which sounds very ipad kiddy but like those are the only way i can talk to peopleand without them in just fucking alone i have two irl friends who talk to me and the rest are all "we're only friends under these circumstances"

my head hurts so fucking bad oh my god and i think its because last night mightve been the worst night of my life my parents spent from 8pm to 10 yelling at me for having online relationships andbeing trans which they just now found out after what 11 years maybe