lukehoskisson.co.uk/2025/08/22/u...

Whipped up this evening.

"Unpatriotic Scum Think St. George's Cross is Round"

#UKpolitics #satire #patriotism

Help! I've got floss stuck in my teeth

Thought i'd let writers into my secrets of how i became a successful £40 a year freelance writer.

#1 - instead of saying what you mean, you express what you mean by saying something different and praying people know what the heck you're on about. this is called figural language.

examples below

"New Year, new me", weeped the calendar.

Just caught up on Big Fat Quiz of the Year with grandma. Spoilers: everyone’s big and fat.

Yeah well, at least they've still got their rectums, ey, grandma.

Yes, it was in tatters, but in the right light, the scarring of Big Jon’s liver did resemble the Virgin Mary, which was a genuine point of pride.

Big Jon didn’t want to die, but was he capable of change?

Eventually, Big Jon visited The Green Man…inside which, he ordered a pint.
#prompt #hbp64

#vss #christmas #weird #fiction
#christmaslunch

Entry to the Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Contest (thank you @weirdxmas.bsky.social)

“You’re lucky to have something you’re so passionate about,” said Eva. “I just go home and watch TV!”

Relaxing, guilt-free—imagine that. I hadn’t felt such #tranquillity in years, at least not naturally anyway.

I reach the bridge. I know the route well but this part has started to feel unfamiliar.

Desperation led me inside the church. I was shaking, sweating. The vicar invited me to the front where they offered me words of encouragement, gave me some wine, and even a little white “wafer”.

Church lifted my spirits that morning. So now, I always go, to continue the afterparty. #hbp51 #prompt

AD 3014.

Mars is ruled by thirteen dukes. Each Duke is powerful, but none more so though than Duke Juarez. He could trace his bloodline back a thousand years to Juarez the Cold, who established his dynasty when he held a Lamborghini the longest in a MrBeast challenge.

#vss365 #prompt #challenge

lukehoskisson.co.uk/2024/12/15/t...

a new short story i've just published that riffs on the growing trend of healthy people taking injections for weight-loss. let me know what you think!

#weightloss #ozempic #monjaro #guyritchie #london #satire #fiction #writer

I've a play-read on in next week. I'm really proud of the piece which is genuinely laugh-out-loud at points, and devastating at others. I'd love if there's people there to see it, & maybe we can work on similiar things together? PLUS - JSO protestors will do Q&A!

#JustStopOil #ClimateChange #Comedy

What is the real toll of natural and climate disasters? Science has staggering new answers | Devi Sridhar

#Mycelium
….
Connected even miles apart,
And when nature has run its course
And I am lying in the ground,
I'll rest easy ‘cause I wiIl know,
You’ll be there embracing me.

#vss365 #prompt

The guy's clearly got guts

“Agghhhhh!” Ava screamed. “Why is the bar flooding?!”

“We take the 00s very seriously, here.” The barman replied calmly. “And you asked for a hurricane.”

“I meant the cocktail!” Ava explained.

had a few days off from all the photos of clouds and lakes on here while i get my application for the BBC studios staffwriter job in (google it, and good luck!), as well as a piece for the @weirdxmas.bsky.social contest. both have been very fun to create. i hope they're good! any else submitting? x

a few pages of over the top satire that comes from a very bitter place, i mean who really wants their friends to do well? F*#k their success. #shortstory #writer

mainly for the UK audience unless Simmons Bars have made it to the continent

feedback welcome x

lukehoskisson.co.uk/2024/11/22/g...

just started on bluesky and so far it all seems very lovey dovey...i'm going to need to change gears!

but i'm a writer and looking to share things on here. please share things with me too!