Lucky_Zero
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luckyzero.bsky.social
Lucky_Zero
@luckyzero.bsky.social
260 followers 970 following 680 posts
Bartender, avid GM, father to the world's most ginger dragon slayer. Collector of stupid hats.
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luckyzero.bsky.social
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When I was a toddler, we had a half husky half shepherd named Daisy who protected me. There's a photo, somewhere, of me laying on her in the sun in our garden when I was just three years old. Now my daughter has her own half husky half shepherd who looks out for her. Gunnr is her best friend, and I can't believe how life becomes this beautiful circle sometimes.
May 12, 2025 at 6:47 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
I spoil my players.
My thicc and famous five cheese mac. One garlic and buffalo, the other lemon pepper. Both have led to fantastic, albeit sleepy, sex in various and inappropriate situations.
April 20, 2025 at 9:52 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
It's my ultimate veggie subversion.
Pipe that beef trust, slick.
April 17, 2025 at 11:21 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Ta da
Dear Anna's Pussy A treasure, most sought Hordes of thirsty reply guys Now, who holds power? A thighku
April 11, 2025 at 12:11 AM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Dear Anna and Meegan Sick Crotch, Cumrade. Love, Lucky Zero
April 10, 2025 at 11:57 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Fun fact about me.

I was the only kid with decent internet in my country ass school and I built my own computers. So I had an entire racket of selling CD-R rips of whatever

I actually bought one of these crank spin wheel cleaners to add "protective gel" at a premium.

Toothpaste.
A forgotten tool of a barbaric age, meant to clean the sins off pilfered goods.
April 7, 2025 at 11:24 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
April 2, 2025 at 10:19 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
The venus figurine
March 30, 2025 at 11:34 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Age yourself with a toy from your childhood
Ah, the Atari 2600. The blips and bloops will always remind me of the many, many dark winter mornings I spent waiting for school. But I was always up early enough to catch the same four episodes of Sailor Moon they played, so that's cool.
March 30, 2025 at 10:32 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
If you need any ideas, lemme know.
A bar I made Still that bar Baphomet and bapphy Some ass in bisexual lighting
March 30, 2025 at 4:47 AM
luckyzero.bsky.social
I guess I'll kick off the party then.
Behold, a hairless bear. Witness the majesty of a nightmare become corporeal. Boop the snoot of the thing that haunts the campfire. Devourer of donuts. Ripper of beehives. Chugger of honey.
March 27, 2025 at 4:24 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
HE MADE A BLANKET FORT
Last night at work I had a pretty bad moment. Table full of boomers all walk in and demand a specific table. Sit down before we were done cleaning it for the last group. I already had seven tables so I said I'd be back as soon as I could to get some drinks going. They were already yelling for me as I was taking a six top's orders. Everyone in that dining room was yelling. Kids were running around. It was chaos. Three more tables walked in and I was completely alone on the floor. The table of boomers was arguing with each other even putting in the drinks. Arguing about every app. Arguing about happy hour. I said I'd be right back to take a food order when they're ready. They tried to argue about that but I was already gone. The rest of the room got their orders in, and I came back notepad in hand to get their food knowing damn well there would be completely unnecessary instructions and overly dramatic expectations. And I wasn't wrong. "I want the burger MEDIUM RARE." okay well they're smash burgers, there's no temp involved. "Jim I told you that you never LISTEN" it's fine the patty is still remarkably tender and juic- "YOU'D BETTER MAKE SURE THE EGG ISN'T RUNNY." Frankly I'd had enough that day. Looked around the dining room, made sure everyone was good and they were. Grabbed an empty chair from a different table, plopped it down next to the boomer table, dramatically sat down and sighed and dropped my notepad. I sat silently until one of them asked what I was doing. "I'm waiting for you all to fucking act like adults. There's a table with eight children outside that behave better than you. Why the fuck are you talking to me like this? What makes you feel okay shoving your fingers in my face like that? Who the fuck do you think you are? You know what, I don't want your money. I'll buy your drinks. Sit here forever for all I fuckin care. " They argued with each other for an hour. I never came back. It felt so good. So. Fucking. Good.
March 19, 2025 at 6:14 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Gotchu
A treat that none will relish
March 13, 2025 at 12:16 AM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Well, you're not wrong.

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A handsome young dog named Gunnr relaxes under a series of framed art pieces of what appears to be my parents fucking
March 12, 2025 at 10:03 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
This floof. This veritable rug.

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In the dead middle of middle school, like most folks that age, I was hungry and desperate for identity. The issue, of course, being that the early 00's in rural Indiana wasn't a decent place to find one. I could join up with the bully crew of Jesus freaks or I could embrace the shitty, angry tough guy trope of the century. But they found me first. I got introduced to Dennis by a friend's brother who saw that I was young and angry and strong and most importantly that I was desperate to prove myself and I wouldn't accept anything less. At first he was polite and readily handed out compliments that resonated deep in me. "you're smarter than the other kids." goddamn right, I'm getting straight A's and I'm not even trying. "It has to be frustrating that adults don't listen to you." oh for sure, Dennis. I haven't been able to trust an authority figure since I was shitting in a toilet. When I met his friends, two things should have been clear that didn't dawn on me in time. Firstly I was the youngest in the room by a country mile. Second, I should have recognized the flag from all the wwii documentaries my dad watched. It should be obvious what they were by now. And they hooked me in hard. When my mom learned she was happy, first time in years she'd expressed pride. I figured I was making the right choice. After hours of rhetoric about how Mexicans are stealing our jobs I was given a task. If I wanted in the family, I had to get my hands bloody. Time to prove myself. The fight was short. I picked it and I was the first to swing on that poor kid. Then, when his friends got me and held me still so they could get their shots in, I realized I was alone. All the good old boys that talked the shit with me had fled the second the fists started flying. While we were in ISS, Fernando and I became friends talking about music and anime. Just like that, their spell was broken. I still swap recipes with his sister to this day. Getting my ass kicked changed my life for good.
March 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Look at this fuckin idiot. This dingus doggus. This thick sled puller.

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When I was in middle school my brother got very much into Christianity and decided to make it everyone's problem. He threw away all his Metallica albums and declared Harry potter satanic. He joined up with the third youth pastor at our middle school, the former two being transferred because of a bad case of pregnant 13 year old girls, to make a shitty roving gang of militant Christians with bleached blonde tips and ramen hair wearing creed shirts and fishhook necklaces. I was forced to go to a week long Bible camp the summer of my 6th grade year and it was there that I quietly confirmed that I did have feelings for both boys and girls but I kept it deep inside like the shameful secret I thought it was. That week I'd be constantly berated for the crime of being born human and that God demanded an apology for daring to come into the world during the day. At night? Different story. That was the week I learned to suck dick. Apparently a lot of these boys came here every year and every year they got together and sucked each other out in the woods just beyond the camp. They constantly reassured each other it wasn't gay, they were just doing it to learn the sin so they can fight it back home. There's always a loophole. At school my brother's horrible friends would isolate and bully kids for not being Christian enough. Several were hurt to the point of being sent home but not even once were they punished. They were doing it for Jesus and that makes it okay. I got into four sports that year and went from a chunky pud to a kid that probably shouldn't have gotten that much into weight lifting that early. Before the year was over I ended up being cornered by those kids. Faggot. Loser. Nerd. The shoving, the punching. I snapped. Lost my whole mind. Next thing I knew I was slamming that bastard Shane's head into a locker so hard you'd think I was an amateur blacksmith with bad aim. I felt powerful. I felt like I'd done justice in the world. Adults beat me for that. Badly.
March 6, 2025 at 9:51 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
One of these in your stockings
March 4, 2025 at 5:19 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Look at this handsome fucker.
A handsome dog named Gunnr saw you from across the bar and really liked your whole vibe
February 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Think they'll honor this at Safeway?
A token designed for couples to exchange sexual favors designed by someone who believes intimacy is transactional
February 26, 2025 at 9:50 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Vintage lighter love
February 26, 2025 at 8:59 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME WE GOT FUCKIN SERIOUS AND SHOWED THESE MONSTERS HOW WE FIGHT!

BEHOLD MY WEAPON
February 26, 2025 at 8:48 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
What's your sign?
A sign that reads "ATTENTION, protected by falcons!" featuring a falcon wearing what I believe is a sick ass combat hood designed to hone the bird's force sensitivity
February 22, 2025 at 4:50 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Sometimes my dad nails it when he sees a shirt I'd like
February 19, 2025 at 11:59 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
February 16, 2025 at 11:24 PM
luckyzero.bsky.social
Then I add about a cup of broth with a tablespoon of butter, another of minced garlic, and a few dashes of this incredible bastard. One hour high pressure, 20 minute release, then open her up. Delicious.
February 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM