It's 8:17 PM. Haven't kicked anyone into traffic, but this annoying Arsenal supporting twatwaffle is due a well aimed Glasgow Kiss.

And your eyes? I could lose myself in them all day.

Fucking hell. Three compliments. Right, I need to kick someone into traffic to get some sort of equilibrium here.

Agapi to you and your Grandma. ❤️

Right, that's two compliments. I'm fucking my code up here. It's football season, I need to get back to calling people wankyballed fucknuggets and weapons grade arsepieces.

All good. I allow myself one compliment a day and you got it. Much deserved. You could wear a shower curtain and still look beautiful.

Rightly so. Hugs to yer Gran and you. ❤️

I loved the colour of yer hair before this (I follow ye on Insta) and didn't want ye to change it, but hey, you look fucking amazing. Always. 👍

Shit! Is she doing ok????

I remember having a catch with a friend, and she asked if I would like to go to the beach with her and other friends. "I'll send you an invitation on Facebook". I'm right here, in front of you. Just ask me. Fuck a Facebook invite. And the answer was no. Because fuck Facebook and fuck beaches.

I do indeed. Fair call.

We can't be friends any more.

So you liked it then?

Here. have some classic Cannibal Corpse:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s3I...