My dog is a grumpy little fart machine; but I love him, Your Honor

The strategy now is threaten, misdirect, gaslight. Threats will outrage us, then may not happen. This is intentional, to make us think we’re over reacting or hysterical. It’s gaslighting. Don’t doubt yourself. Save your strength, and don’t bother debating. Own your mind.

Also, apparently something I’ve derided as a bad idea can suddenly seem pretty good if I think it’s my idea. The transitive property of my opinion

Tonight is apparently the night that both thumbs decided it was Arthritis Party. Usually it’s just one. The party keeps growing and I don’t have enough lil smokeys to go around aaaaarggghhhhh hostess fail

Me, admiring the moon and saying my only Italian phrase: “Che bella luna!” Literally one second later, falling into the shower: “Ope!” Quite possibly my most Midwestern moment ever, but there’s still a chance I might drop a tater tot hot dish on a Mighty Ducks dvd, so

Just for me: say “ who chooses to eschew” out loud. Extra credit: “who chooses to eschew a chewing choo-choo”. Merry Christmas Eve day!!

I just described myself as “a pantomime horse OF PAIN” and I’m not sure what that means but it *feels* so dramatic

I just overheard a news item saying that too much sugar is bad for you and, yeah, I get it; BUT also: I don’t drink or sleep around or have a lot of fun, so EFF OFF AND LET ME HAVE MY VICTIMLESS VICE as the world burns

“Some of those that work forces/ Are the same that burn crosses” - Rage Against the Machine is still (chef’s kiss)

Having trouble seeing the bright side this morning, but I’m centered, I’m grounded, and I I have a plan. Kind of. 😆

I guess if everybody jumped off a cliff, I would too, bc here I am. Please enjoy this photo of my dog. Yes, he is my whole personality.