Marcus "Kraz" LongWinds
@longwinder.bsky.social
Girl dad, pickleballer, ISC fan, writer of long unpublished things.
When disagreeing on some point with like-minded people, I like to recognize the abundant points we have in common before making a disagreeable point. Characters limits fuck that flow up.
August 22, 2025 at 9:40 PM
When disagreeing on some point with like-minded people, I like to recognize the abundant points we have in common before making a disagreeable point. Characters limits fuck that flow up.
Humans are hard-wired to perceive double entendres. It’s in the brain, not the words.
The first caveman to ever say “Ungh” was immediately followed by his buddy smirking and snorting.
The first caveman to ever say “Ungh” was immediately followed by his buddy smirking and snorting.
July 4, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Humans are hard-wired to perceive double entendres. It’s in the brain, not the words.
The first caveman to ever say “Ungh” was immediately followed by his buddy smirking and snorting.
The first caveman to ever say “Ungh” was immediately followed by his buddy smirking and snorting.
I have an anecdote to share, but I can't do it in under the character limit. Not worth the bother of even trying, so sorry to the half dozen people who might have ever seen it.
May 10, 2025 at 7:07 AM
I have an anecdote to share, but I can't do it in under the character limit. Not worth the bother of even trying, so sorry to the half dozen people who might have ever seen it.
This morning I put my elastic-waisted pants on backwards and it took me two hours to notice. Getting dressed wrong is one of those things that stops happening around 5 and then starts again around 55.
a man in a suit is sitting in a red chair and says hello pants
Alt: Gary Busey is sitting in a red chair and says "Hello, pants!"
media.tenor.com
April 9, 2025 at 6:53 AM
This morning I put my elastic-waisted pants on backwards and it took me two hours to notice. Getting dressed wrong is one of those things that stops happening around 5 and then starts again around 55.
My grief over how language evolves sometimes trumps my academic acceptance of the fact that it does, like losing the word from card games that used to mean, “to have more value” or “to matter more”.
January 25, 2025 at 5:28 PM
My grief over how language evolves sometimes trumps my academic acceptance of the fact that it does, like losing the word from card games that used to mean, “to have more value” or “to matter more”.
A couple days ago, I discovered there's a lot of library cards (in my home state of CA) I could either apply for free online, or get within an hour's drive of where I live. As a frequent Libby user (ebooks and audiobooks) this is great news. I'm up to 7 cards, maybe overdoing it just a tad.
December 31, 2024 at 7:20 PM
A couple days ago, I discovered there's a lot of library cards (in my home state of CA) I could either apply for free online, or get within an hour's drive of where I live. As a frequent Libby user (ebooks and audiobooks) this is great news. I'm up to 7 cards, maybe overdoing it just a tad.
Just finished watching Die Hard with our twin 15 yr old daughters who knew nothing about it. Combined with my memory forgetting so many details, it was glorious.
December 24, 2024 at 7:46 AM
Just finished watching Die Hard with our twin 15 yr old daughters who knew nothing about it. Combined with my memory forgetting so many details, it was glorious.
Lately I’m feeling like I’ve forgotten how to write. I don’t know if it’s because of age, anxiety, or that perfect word I can’t think of anymore.
December 20, 2024 at 6:12 AM
Lately I’m feeling like I’ve forgotten how to write. I don’t know if it’s because of age, anxiety, or that perfect word I can’t think of anymore.
I’m with my 15-yr old daughter at her school’s performance of Spamalot. (Intermission.) We’re both enjoying it, but I’m getting a lot more of the jokes.
November 24, 2024 at 4:05 AM
I’m with my 15-yr old daughter at her school’s performance of Spamalot. (Intermission.) We’re both enjoying it, but I’m getting a lot more of the jokes.
I’m enjoying this honeymoon period (hopefully longer) when I don’t reflexively block every new follower on the assumption they’re a bot.
November 23, 2024 at 5:34 PM
I’m enjoying this honeymoon period (hopefully longer) when I don’t reflexively block every new follower on the assumption they’re a bot.
I’m still on the BlueSky learning curve as far as follows, starter packs, subscribable blocklists, etc., but it’s already 100x more tolerable than the other place.
November 23, 2024 at 5:15 PM
I’m still on the BlueSky learning curve as far as follows, starter packs, subscribable blocklists, etc., but it’s already 100x more tolerable than the other place.
I’m ready to stop doomscrolling at 12:50am to go to sleep. That’s an improvement over two weeks ago. Let the doomdreaming begin!
November 23, 2024 at 8:53 AM
I’m ready to stop doomscrolling at 12:50am to go to sleep. That’s an improvement over two weeks ago. Let the doomdreaming begin!
Nov. 6, 2024, the tweet that may or may not turn out to be my last on that platform before exploring alternatives:
Our MAGA-geddon — A few determined Americans defy the odds to force Earth into the path of Asteroid-47, which was going to pass it by.
Our MAGA-geddon — A few determined Americans defy the odds to force Earth into the path of Asteroid-47, which was going to pass it by.
November 17, 2024 at 7:31 PM
Nov. 6, 2024, the tweet that may or may not turn out to be my last on that platform before exploring alternatives:
Our MAGA-geddon — A few determined Americans defy the odds to force Earth into the path of Asteroid-47, which was going to pass it by.
Our MAGA-geddon — A few determined Americans defy the odds to force Earth into the path of Asteroid-47, which was going to pass it by.
From Oct 2024, replying to tweet by Alexandra Bowman (@scripta_bene):
AB: “Buttery”? Not “butterfly?” Life is a lie
Me: Proof that autocorrect is older than we thought. I bet Seuss is still tossing in his thneed over this one.
AB: “Buttery”? Not “butterfly?” Life is a lie
Me: Proof that autocorrect is older than we thought. I bet Seuss is still tossing in his thneed over this one.
November 17, 2024 at 7:29 PM
From Oct 2024, replying to tweet by Alexandra Bowman (@scripta_bene):
AB: “Buttery”? Not “butterfly?” Life is a lie
Me: Proof that autocorrect is older than we thought. I bet Seuss is still tossing in his thneed over this one.
AB: “Buttery”? Not “butterfly?” Life is a lie
Me: Proof that autocorrect is older than we thought. I bet Seuss is still tossing in his thneed over this one.
From 2023, replying to funny tweet by @cogitoergowtf.bsky.social about trope of men not knowing their way around women's anatomy:
I wrote a silly little essay about that... marcuslongwinds.substack.com/p/finding-ch...
I wrote a silly little essay about that... marcuslongwinds.substack.com/p/finding-ch...
Finding Channel 5
Some targets are obvious until the aren't, as Derp the Alien learns in a lesson about human female anatomy.
marcuslongwinds.substack.com
November 17, 2024 at 7:26 PM
From 2023, replying to funny tweet by @cogitoergowtf.bsky.social about trope of men not knowing their way around women's anatomy:
I wrote a silly little essay about that... marcuslongwinds.substack.com/p/finding-ch...
I wrote a silly little essay about that... marcuslongwinds.substack.com/p/finding-ch...
From 2023:
If you enjoy torturing yourself as path to pleasure, but S&M is not your style, I humbly suggest building a gaming PC.
If you enjoy torturing yourself as path to pleasure, but S&M is not your style, I humbly suggest building a gaming PC.
November 17, 2024 at 7:22 PM
From 2023:
If you enjoy torturing yourself as path to pleasure, but S&M is not your style, I humbly suggest building a gaming PC.
If you enjoy torturing yourself as path to pleasure, but S&M is not your style, I humbly suggest building a gaming PC.
From 2023:
Clockwise from top left: Blaine, Ross, Greg, Joey, The Scarecrow.
Clockwise from top left: Blaine, Ross, Greg, Joey, The Scarecrow.
November 17, 2024 at 7:21 PM
From 2023:
Clockwise from top left: Blaine, Ross, Greg, Joey, The Scarecrow.
Clockwise from top left: Blaine, Ross, Greg, Joey, The Scarecrow.
From 2023:
This got me thinking, as a cat owner/lover. If the cost of owning a cat was represented by a hay bale, the cost of acquiring one would be but a straw. When they break your heart by passing on, they rarely do that for free. That's the last straw.
This got me thinking, as a cat owner/lover. If the cost of owning a cat was represented by a hay bale, the cost of acquiring one would be but a straw. When they break your heart by passing on, they rarely do that for free. That's the last straw.
November 17, 2024 at 7:19 PM
From 2023:
This got me thinking, as a cat owner/lover. If the cost of owning a cat was represented by a hay bale, the cost of acquiring one would be but a straw. When they break your heart by passing on, they rarely do that for free. That's the last straw.
This got me thinking, as a cat owner/lover. If the cost of owning a cat was represented by a hay bale, the cost of acquiring one would be but a straw. When they break your heart by passing on, they rarely do that for free. That's the last straw.
From 2022:
After years of anxiety-induced procrastination, I finally picked a local dentist to resume regular checkups. I love her because she's young enough she is unlikely to retire before I die, which spares me the ordeal of ever having to pick another dentist.
After years of anxiety-induced procrastination, I finally picked a local dentist to resume regular checkups. I love her because she's young enough she is unlikely to retire before I die, which spares me the ordeal of ever having to pick another dentist.
November 17, 2024 at 7:16 PM
From 2022:
After years of anxiety-induced procrastination, I finally picked a local dentist to resume regular checkups. I love her because she's young enough she is unlikely to retire before I die, which spares me the ordeal of ever having to pick another dentist.
After years of anxiety-induced procrastination, I finally picked a local dentist to resume regular checkups. I love her because she's young enough she is unlikely to retire before I die, which spares me the ordeal of ever having to pick another dentist.
From 2021:
10 Musicals I’ve re-played the most:
Hamilton
Wicked
Les Mis
Jesus Christ Superstar
Hair
Godspell
Avenue Q
Book of Mormon
Into the Woods
The Greatest Showman
10 Musicals I’ve re-played the most:
Hamilton
Wicked
Les Mis
Jesus Christ Superstar
Hair
Godspell
Avenue Q
Book of Mormon
Into the Woods
The Greatest Showman
November 17, 2024 at 7:15 PM
From 2021:
10 Musicals I’ve re-played the most:
Hamilton
Wicked
Les Mis
Jesus Christ Superstar
Hair
Godspell
Avenue Q
Book of Mormon
Into the Woods
The Greatest Showman
10 Musicals I’ve re-played the most:
Hamilton
Wicked
Les Mis
Jesus Christ Superstar
Hair
Godspell
Avenue Q
Book of Mormon
Into the Woods
The Greatest Showman
From 2020:
My family stayed up to watch #Hamilfilm when it dropped and it was all I hoped it would be. Me and my 11-yr. old daughter sang along to lots of it. My only question for
LMM is #wheresbetsy? Original b-way cast +1 were all great, but what happened to Betsy Struxness?
My family stayed up to watch #Hamilfilm when it dropped and it was all I hoped it would be. Me and my 11-yr. old daughter sang along to lots of it. My only question for
LMM is #wheresbetsy? Original b-way cast +1 were all great, but what happened to Betsy Struxness?
November 17, 2024 at 7:14 PM
From 2020:
My family stayed up to watch #Hamilfilm when it dropped and it was all I hoped it would be. Me and my 11-yr. old daughter sang along to lots of it. My only question for
LMM is #wheresbetsy? Original b-way cast +1 were all great, but what happened to Betsy Struxness?
My family stayed up to watch #Hamilfilm when it dropped and it was all I hoped it would be. Me and my 11-yr. old daughter sang along to lots of it. My only question for
LMM is #wheresbetsy? Original b-way cast +1 were all great, but what happened to Betsy Struxness?
From 2020, when we decided to switch from pandemic-induced distance learning to homeschooling:
Today was a big day in our household for distance learning. We decided to improve all our “citizenship” grades by doing a lot less of it.
Today was a big day in our household for distance learning. We decided to improve all our “citizenship” grades by doing a lot less of it.
a young girl is sitting at a desk in a classroom playing with a toy .
Alt: a young girl is sitting at a desk in a classroom breaking her pencil and celebrating.
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2024 at 7:05 PM
From 2020, when we decided to switch from pandemic-induced distance learning to homeschooling:
Today was a big day in our household for distance learning. We decided to improve all our “citizenship” grades by doing a lot less of it.
Today was a big day in our household for distance learning. We decided to improve all our “citizenship” grades by doing a lot less of it.
From 2020:
I found this neat infographic about 74 ways characters die in Shakespeare plays. Whoever made it obviously hasn't seen any Improvised Shakespeare Company shows, because the count should be way higher. And funnier.
openculture.com/2016/01/74-w...
I found this neat infographic about 74 ways characters die in Shakespeare plays. Whoever made it obviously hasn't seen any Improvised Shakespeare Company shows, because the count should be way higher. And funnier.
openculture.com/2016/01/74-w...
74 Ways Characters Die in Shakespeare’s Plays Shown in a Handy Infographic: From Snakebites to Lack of Sleep
In the graduate department where I once taught freshmen and sophomores the rudiments of college English, it became common practice to include Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus on many an Intro to Lit sy...
openculture.com
November 17, 2024 at 7:00 PM
From 2020:
I found this neat infographic about 74 ways characters die in Shakespeare plays. Whoever made it obviously hasn't seen any Improvised Shakespeare Company shows, because the count should be way higher. And funnier.
openculture.com/2016/01/74-w...
I found this neat infographic about 74 ways characters die in Shakespeare plays. Whoever made it obviously hasn't seen any Improvised Shakespeare Company shows, because the count should be way higher. And funnier.
openculture.com/2016/01/74-w...