I always seem to wear through the crotch/butt of my trousers first. My attempt at a visible mend: (I could not resist a slightly deranged photo sorry).

“And so the Greeks send me this horse, we’re talking about one of the most beautiful horses you’ve ever seen. So big. So strong. Normally they keep this kind of horse for themselves but they were such big fans they said sir, please take our big wonderful horse we’ll even bring it to your house”