You don’t have to worship where you’re not wanted.

I’m missing the brain cells where two men create a genuine friendship over talking about sports for hours. Also, I’m gay.

You don’t have to worship where you’re not wanted.

The “normal gay crowd” sounds like the evangelical Christian “real men” crowd of the 80’s/90’s. Demeaning people who are different than you is never ok. Straight people come in all types of personalities. Same with gay men. Same with queer people. “Normal” is a bullying tactic.

All of us benefit from others living their authentic selves with family, friend, and community support.

You don’t have to worship where you’re not wanted.

We still have power. One small idea….research the personal social media accounts of your insurance agents, your barber, mechanic, etc. If possible, avoid spending money with people who openly are racist, xenophobic, homophobic, etc.

Leaving soul-crushing fundamentalist Christianity has been extremely liberating for me. Also, it’s been a steep learning curve to heal from religious trauma. Here’s what I mean by that. 1/3

The “good ole days” cliche’ has never made sense. I concede that for many (typically the privileged) life was overall pleasant in the past. Also, I definitely agree that present society isn’t perfect. But wow! The pining for an era when many objectively suffered doesn’t at all resonate with me.

People who harm others don’t get to police how the harmed express their pain.

This explains a LOT of our politics. Our country is changing. Some are afraid of the changes and want to go back to the “good ole days”.

I was home-schooled from 8th grade through high school. My education was sub-par in so many ways. Combined w/family & church frowning on college, my career was set back 10 yrs. And yet, there was good: I escaped bullying that would likely have occurred as a feminine gay kid at most public schools.

Every day I’m thankful to be living authentically without shame. It’s good to be alive.

It’s been 9 yrs since I told my siblings & parents I’m gay & getting a divorce (I was married to a woman). It didn’t go well. At all. During the holidays, I reflect on the loss of connection because I chose to live authentically. I wish they could experience me living my best life. One can hope.

Always.

Christian school principal to my mom: “There is something wrong with Richard.”

I admit to having a “bad” habit of avoiding recess, choosing to do homework instead of playing football with the boys. I mean, straight boy stuff wasn’t my thing as a deeply-closeted feminine gay boy.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
Paul Coelho

This quote resonates deeply with me.

“Agree to disagree” works sometimes, eg. when discussing the merits of a national sales tax vs an income tax. It doesn’t work if you are asking me to passively ignore your racism, xenophobia, misogyny, transphobia or homophobia. We will have to part ways if you insist I tolerate your value system.

I’m only 9 yrs. old if one counts my life in post-fundamentalist evangelicalism years. I drank the koolaid for the first 43 years & now detoxing. Still learning how to navigate being an authentic human without fear being my guide. I have no regrets leaving that world. Healing is so worth it.