I'm a mistake. I'm only good at hurting people. I'm tired of being such a failure. I'm tired of causing pain for those I love...

I love her with all my heart and soul. This hurts so much I'm beyond tears anymore. For the first time in years I'm remembering what it feels like to go numb.

I will be okay.

Most of the time I'm fine just doing my own thing...but sometimes my mind pulls demons out of dark corners to taunt and degrade me.

I feel like being close to me in itself is a burden. I feel like a burden.

Yes, my mind is right in the middle of this feeling as I write this. It's why I write.

I do my best to believe that those who matter to me mean it when they say they want me around or love me and ignore the part of my brain that plants seeds of doubt.

Sometimes though, I find myself awake at a time where hardly anyone else is active. It gets painfully lonely.

I'm the one who needs to change.

I love you❤️
I have loved you since the day I got to see you for who you truly are and I always will love you❤️

The last thing I wanted was to make you cry.
I keep fucking things up...

I'm sorry.

I will do better. At least, I can say that I will keep trying my best to be a better man for you.

You are my everything. Nothing will change that ❤️
Nothing can change that ❤️

Sorry for disappointing you again.

I have never been one to feel that way with you because I love and trust you with everything in me.

I'm not about to try and make excuses for shitty behaviour just to save my ego. I was wrong. I fucked up. I won't do that ever again. My word and my bond on this statement.

I love you. Always will ❤️

You mean everything to me.

The fact that I hurt you with this solidifies my resolve to not let this slide. I absolutely will not let that happen ever again.

It's not negotiable. Jealousy can fuck off out of my head. Possessiveness can fuck off out of my head.