Alison
@lilovescake.bsky.social
she/her · pockets · came here to burgle your turts
Looked around a new build house today and it was the saddest beigest thing ever. I know they need them to have broad appeal but it just makes me feel like my soul is slowly leaking out of my body. Whereas when I see a house with zebra wallpaper I think wow! Hate that for me but love that for you!
January 8, 2026 at 9:29 PM
Looked around a new build house today and it was the saddest beigest thing ever. I know they need them to have broad appeal but it just makes me feel like my soul is slowly leaking out of my body. Whereas when I see a house with zebra wallpaper I think wow! Hate that for me but love that for you!
We don’t really have Christmas traditions in our house, but New Year’s Eve: Laundry, fresh sheets, tidy house. These things are sacred
December 31, 2025 at 3:29 PM
We don’t really have Christmas traditions in our house, but New Year’s Eve: Laundry, fresh sheets, tidy house. These things are sacred
In my stocking Henry gave me a perfume I already have (but he didn’t know that). This is EXCELLENT because
1. It smells really good
2. It proves what great taste he has (not that I didn’t know that already 😁)
1. It smells really good
2. It proves what great taste he has (not that I didn’t know that already 😁)
December 25, 2025 at 9:59 AM
In my stocking Henry gave me a perfume I already have (but he didn’t know that). This is EXCELLENT because
1. It smells really good
2. It proves what great taste he has (not that I didn’t know that already 😁)
1. It smells really good
2. It proves what great taste he has (not that I didn’t know that already 😁)
Went to our local bookshop yesterday to get a last minute extra for Max. They were sold out but said there was a delivery today and they expected to be getting it in (but no guarantees).
Went back today, they immediately located it freshly delivered, and this is why indie bookshops are the best 💕
Went back today, they immediately located it freshly delivered, and this is why indie bookshops are the best 💕
December 24, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Went to our local bookshop yesterday to get a last minute extra for Max. They were sold out but said there was a delivery today and they expected to be getting it in (but no guarantees).
Went back today, they immediately located it freshly delivered, and this is why indie bookshops are the best 💕
Went back today, they immediately located it freshly delivered, and this is why indie bookshops are the best 💕
I have finished all my Xmas shopping because I am one of Those people. But I have also started my advent calendar already because apparently these two things to hand in hand
November 29, 2025 at 6:01 PM
I have finished all my Xmas shopping because I am one of Those people. But I have also started my advent calendar already because apparently these two things to hand in hand
Dear random passers by: Putting your dirty single-use cardboard coffee cup in our tins/plastics recycling box isn’t as helpful as you think it is
October 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Dear random passers by: Putting your dirty single-use cardboard coffee cup in our tins/plastics recycling box isn’t as helpful as you think it is
Henry: I dreamed… there was scaffolding on our house and but it wasn’t meant to be there… it felt wrong…
Me: I dreamed my parents tried to take me and Max to Buckingham Palace at night but Max said we can’t go, I have no shoes on, and I ALSO had no shoes on so we went to a cafe instead
Me: I dreamed my parents tried to take me and Max to Buckingham Palace at night but Max said we can’t go, I have no shoes on, and I ALSO had no shoes on so we went to a cafe instead
October 14, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Henry: I dreamed… there was scaffolding on our house and but it wasn’t meant to be there… it felt wrong…
Me: I dreamed my parents tried to take me and Max to Buckingham Palace at night but Max said we can’t go, I have no shoes on, and I ALSO had no shoes on so we went to a cafe instead
Me: I dreamed my parents tried to take me and Max to Buckingham Palace at night but Max said we can’t go, I have no shoes on, and I ALSO had no shoes on so we went to a cafe instead
Went to a physio about my dislocate-y shoulder and after inspecting me he said I have hypermobile joints and asked if the other shoulder had ever dislocated. When I said no his reaction was “huh 🤔” so I guess now I can also worry about the good shoulder too
October 5, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Went to a physio about my dislocate-y shoulder and after inspecting me he said I have hypermobile joints and asked if the other shoulder had ever dislocated. When I said no his reaction was “huh 🤔” so I guess now I can also worry about the good shoulder too
Henry (going through spellings with Max): Use "bear" in a sentence but not the animal
Max: Bear Grylls is a survivalist
If this child can make a career out of being technically correct he’s going to have a very successful life
Max: Bear Grylls is a survivalist
If this child can make a career out of being technically correct he’s going to have a very successful life
October 1, 2025 at 8:32 AM
Henry (going through spellings with Max): Use "bear" in a sentence but not the animal
Max: Bear Grylls is a survivalist
If this child can make a career out of being technically correct he’s going to have a very successful life
Max: Bear Grylls is a survivalist
If this child can make a career out of being technically correct he’s going to have a very successful life
Shout out to the guy at work who not only has teenaged triplets but also has BEES and used his own home-sourced honey to make a delicious cake for the office MacMillan coffee morning (I feel that between a full-time job & triplets living at home you could justifiably be excused from anything else)
September 26, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Shout out to the guy at work who not only has teenaged triplets but also has BEES and used his own home-sourced honey to make a delicious cake for the office MacMillan coffee morning (I feel that between a full-time job & triplets living at home you could justifiably be excused from anything else)
Me: What’s one word you always have trouble spelling? Mine’s bureaucracy.
Max: I can spell that!
He then proceeds to confidently spell… BEUROCAY
Max: I can spell that!
He then proceeds to confidently spell… BEUROCAY
September 19, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Me: What’s one word you always have trouble spelling? Mine’s bureaucracy.
Max: I can spell that!
He then proceeds to confidently spell… BEUROCAY
Max: I can spell that!
He then proceeds to confidently spell… BEUROCAY
8:20 first day of term. The ideal time to find out Max's school shoes no longer fit 😅
September 4, 2025 at 7:22 AM
8:20 first day of term. The ideal time to find out Max's school shoes no longer fit 😅
Negative of going to the dentist: £75 bill
Positive of going to the dentist: It’s not every day someone compliments you on your gums
Positive of going to the dentist: It’s not every day someone compliments you on your gums
September 2, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Negative of going to the dentist: £75 bill
Positive of going to the dentist: It’s not every day someone compliments you on your gums
Positive of going to the dentist: It’s not every day someone compliments you on your gums
Being on holiday is nice but what's ALSO nice is coming home and remembering why you picked the bed, mattress, pillows, and bedding that you did
August 2, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Being on holiday is nice but what's ALSO nice is coming home and remembering why you picked the bed, mattress, pillows, and bedding that you did
Not my lord, not my rings
Not my bone, not my tomahawk
Not my story, not my toy
June 25, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Not my lord, not my rings
hey Siri show me what capitalism looks like
April 22, 2025 at 9:32 AM
hey Siri show me what capitalism looks like
Max: What’s a sociopath?
Me: An extremely antisocial person who doesn’t care about others
Max: Hm. And what’s an osteopath?
Me: An extremely antisocial person who doesn’t care about others
Max: Hm. And what’s an osteopath?
April 15, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Max: What’s a sociopath?
Me: An extremely antisocial person who doesn’t care about others
Max: Hm. And what’s an osteopath?
Me: An extremely antisocial person who doesn’t care about others
Max: Hm. And what’s an osteopath?
Wandered up to the high street with Henry after dropping Max at school today to grab a coffee before work, and maybe it’s spring but I just sometimes think our life is so NICE. Like this sort of pleasantness comes easily, and we’re so lucky to be able to enjoy it
March 26, 2025 at 9:19 AM
Wandered up to the high street with Henry after dropping Max at school today to grab a coffee before work, and maybe it’s spring but I just sometimes think our life is so NICE. Like this sort of pleasantness comes easily, and we’re so lucky to be able to enjoy it
Low bar for "healthy" these days
March 3, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Low bar for "healthy" these days
Does it still count as rage quitting if what you’re doing is closing down all your browser tabs in a huff?
February 14, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Does it still count as rage quitting if what you’re doing is closing down all your browser tabs in a huff?
Last night I told Max no BS (“bedtime shenanigans”) and tonight I told him to remember the rule about bedtime shenanigans and he confidently replied “No BS” and this is why I’d like to submit myself for Parent of the Week
February 12, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Last night I told Max no BS (“bedtime shenanigans”) and tonight I told him to remember the rule about bedtime shenanigans and he confidently replied “No BS” and this is why I’d like to submit myself for Parent of the Week
Sometimes I feel it takes me forEVER to get started at work (like days) and then I do 3 days’ work in half a day and forget to eat and drink until my stomach hurts so then I eat half a bag of jelly babies or whatever’s there so I don’t interrupt the flow then I get a headache and WHY AM I LIKE THIS
February 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Sometimes I feel it takes me forEVER to get started at work (like days) and then I do 3 days’ work in half a day and forget to eat and drink until my stomach hurts so then I eat half a bag of jelly babies or whatever’s there so I don’t interrupt the flow then I get a headache and WHY AM I LIKE THIS
Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?
February 4, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?
Max has these maths sheets to do that are like "Colin has calculated 12x8 = 86. Explain why Colin is wrong" now I can explain HOW he's wrong but who can guess at Colin’s thought process, truly?
January 28, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Max has these maths sheets to do that are like "Colin has calculated 12x8 = 86. Explain why Colin is wrong" now I can explain HOW he's wrong but who can guess at Colin’s thought process, truly?