Wait I was told we were doing Standard Cock Saturday

I used to do it, but ever since I got a pair of shower shoes I’ve completely gaslit myself and now judge the shit out of everyone who goes barefoot, with no acknowledgment of my own past sins.

😩😩 get grandma a sexy body pillow please

Ok bear with me but Spencer

Relatable, I had an American Teenager phase too. Also a mopey House in Nebraska phase, a Ptolemaea scream phase, and a few strange days where I just kept replaying the harmonica sections of Thoroughfare and dancing maniacally. This album has it all.

Ngl this is probably why Patti’s always so spicy.

I’ve asked many times 😂 they just tell me it’s “such a random choice”

Winter is a bummer :(

I went on a spontaneous vacation to Lancaster once and I still get shit from all my East Coast friends, but the food was immaculate. I also really enjoyed the cultural experience of haggling with a bowl-cut-wearing eight-year-old at some Amish barn sale.

It’s been two days since I’ve seen anyone trying to argue about whether North and South America are two separate continents or not. Withdrawal symptoms started this morning.

It’s giving “My dad named me after my great aunt, who was a slave” 😅

Sounds stinky but I believe in you

Just send in more porn and the artillery systems will languish in the field