Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer
@lighterfandango.bsky.social
I am not a lawyer. Nor am I a bigfoot. Handsome is subjective. Also I drank all the throwing wine
I always do
November 11, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I always do
I can't look past a mustache to the man underneath because all I see is my father proudly calling me "champ"
November 9, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I can't look past a mustache to the man underneath because all I see is my father proudly calling me "champ"
Well now it's easy to tell me apart from these guys, because I would never willingly go to a baseball game
November 9, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Well now it's easy to tell me apart from these guys, because I would never willingly go to a baseball game
I can't tell us apart either
November 9, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I can't tell us apart either
Okay, but now do the same thing with my bedroom
November 9, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Okay, but now do the same thing with my bedroom
Jockstraps and yes
November 9, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Jockstraps and yes
And it never will be 😌
November 9, 2025 at 4:49 AM
And it never will be 😌
I call that the HBL special
November 9, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I call that the HBL special
I'm gonna shoot the moon, all at the same time
November 9, 2025 at 4:22 AM
I'm gonna shoot the moon, all at the same time
I want all three
November 9, 2025 at 4:18 AM
I want all three
Get your gold stars ready
November 9, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Get your gold stars ready
I apologize. I didn't mean to offend you, Tom Selleck or Freddie Mercury or Admiral Burnsides, whichever one you are
November 9, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I apologize. I didn't mean to offend you, Tom Selleck or Freddie Mercury or Admiral Burnsides, whichever one you are
I don't know why I decided to lean into this selfish-sex-partner, bad-at-head guy, and I don't like how long it's been going on. I'd like it on the record that I'm very good at sex and I always get a gold star
November 9, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I don't know why I decided to lean into this selfish-sex-partner, bad-at-head guy, and I don't like how long it's been going on. I'd like it on the record that I'm very good at sex and I always get a gold star
Sometimes I get a pity one
November 9, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Sometimes I get a pity one
I'll give one out as long as I do
November 9, 2025 at 4:01 AM
I'll give one out as long as I do
All men with moustaches look a little alike
November 9, 2025 at 4:01 AM
All men with moustaches look a little alike
Do I even have a dick? Who can say, no one's ever seen it or even got a hint of it's existence
November 9, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Do I even have a dick? Who can say, no one's ever seen it or even got a hint of it's existence
But if the Wet Bandits show up, you're covered
November 9, 2025 at 1:36 AM
But if the Wet Bandits show up, you're covered
If *I* can be 100% innocent on main and never post anything even remotely sexual or provocative (and clearly I can; we all agree on that) then he can have an aide set up a porn account
November 9, 2025 at 1:34 AM
If *I* can be 100% innocent on main and never post anything even remotely sexual or provocative (and clearly I can; we all agree on that) then he can have an aide set up a porn account
That said, get an alt, my dude. Like come on
November 9, 2025 at 1:31 AM
That said, get an alt, my dude. Like come on