LepsLair
@lepslair.com
I may be a heart attack survivor, but my jokes are still fire. Married, developer, neurodivergent, ADHD, dyslexic, content creator, and streamer.
Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?
He had loved in vein
He had loved in vein
November 24, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?
He had loved in vein
He had loved in vein
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft
November 24, 2025 at 9:06 PM
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest
A change is as good as a rest
November 24, 2025 at 8:06 PM
What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest
A change is as good as a rest
Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
November 24, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Rumor has it that the new Miami baseball team will be called "Humidity" so that fans in Florida will be able to say, "It's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
Because an itch in time saves nine.
November 24, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?
Because an itch in time saves nine.
Because an itch in time saves nine.
We should have had Balky movies and adventures with Balky for years to come
November 24, 2025 at 4:06 AM
We should have had Balky movies and adventures with Balky for years to come
If storks bring human babies, what bring monster babies?
Cranes
Cranes
November 24, 2025 at 3:06 AM
If storks bring human babies, what bring monster babies?
Cranes
Cranes
This is absolutely something Padme would have done
November 24, 2025 at 2:06 AM
This is absolutely something Padme would have done
Artists cannot be trusted. They're sketchy, shady, and trying to frame you. You get the picture.
November 24, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Artists cannot be trusted. They're sketchy, shady, and trying to frame you. You get the picture.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee
He's the Easter Bungee
November 23, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee
He's the Easter Bungee
How does a football player make phone calls?
On a touch-down phone
On a touch-down phone
November 23, 2025 at 9:06 PM
How does a football player make phone calls?
On a touch-down phone
On a touch-down phone
Sharks can smell blood.
Dogs can smell drugs.
Humans can't smell when they need deodorant.
Dogs can smell drugs.
Humans can't smell when they need deodorant.
November 23, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Sharks can smell blood.
Dogs can smell drugs.
Humans can't smell when they need deodorant.
Dogs can smell drugs.
Humans can't smell when they need deodorant.
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
November 23, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would come in 4th just so I didn't have to walk up to the podium.
November 23, 2025 at 4:06 AM
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would come in 4th just so I didn't have to walk up to the podium.
They’re going to have a poetry reading at the penitentiary
They call it Prose and Cons
They call it Prose and Cons
November 23, 2025 at 3:06 AM
They’re going to have a poetry reading at the penitentiary
They call it Prose and Cons
They call it Prose and Cons
I heard a Cranberries joke once. I can’t stop having Dreams about it. The thoughts Linger in my head, and I feel like a Zombie every morning!
November 23, 2025 at 2:06 AM
I heard a Cranberries joke once. I can’t stop having Dreams about it. The thoughts Linger in my head, and I feel like a Zombie every morning!
Last week I finally put away my black winter clothes and took out my black summer clothes
November 23, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Last week I finally put away my black winter clothes and took out my black summer clothes
How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line
You drop it a line
November 22, 2025 at 11:06 PM
How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line
You drop it a line
How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
The elephant has a better memory.
The elephant has a better memory.
November 22, 2025 at 9:06 PM
How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
The elephant has a better memory.
The elephant has a better memory.
The bushes are trees and the trees are bushes sounds like a really weird conspiracy theory if talking about real life
November 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
The bushes are trees and the trees are bushes sounds like a really weird conspiracy theory if talking about real life
That band is going out with a bang
November 22, 2025 at 5:06 PM
That band is going out with a bang
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
When you have good aim
When you have good aim
November 22, 2025 at 4:06 AM
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
When you have good aim
When you have good aim
How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots to it
Add 14 carrots to it
November 22, 2025 at 3:06 AM
How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots to it
Add 14 carrots to it