Imagine being under it :)

Those I've talked to about this always say the same thing.

"Don't you think it's time to start living?"

I don't know how. I don't know that I want to. I'm tired. Every passing day could be another chance for the world to drop me back into hell.

I need to quit while I'm ahead.

I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for months.

But not the normal ones. I don't feel worthless, I don't feel like a bother. Life hasn't hit a dead end.

I just feel done. Like I've lived my life, and it's time to throw in the towel. I succeeded, despite all odds, and it's time to retire.

25. Little Known Fact About Me: I am incredibly spiritual. Not religious, just spiritual. I have had things in my life that happened that science can not possibly explain.

24. Topic I love discussing: I genuinely love discussing religion, but rarely get to without people getting upset. I find the topic to be fascinating.

23. First Job: Burger King! First job straight out of dropping out of college. I scored myself a full-time position by being the only person who could game the kitchen monitoring system into giving us an A rating.

22. Currently watching: House MD. It's fun and relatively educational. As long as you don't mind the absurd level of cynicism that Dr. House has.

21. Currently reading: The entire Redwall series! Once my Saturday Kingmaker group is done, I'll be starting up a Redwall campaign.

20. Pet peeve: Roleplayers who say "would." Like, "Aodhan would go and hug the cat."
Oh, he would? Then why isn't he? What's stopping him? "Would" implies he isn't actually doing it. Blaaarrrrrrgh!

19. Phone lockscreen: Surprising nobody...

18. Early memory: I'm gonna go with "earliest" memory for this one. On my second birthday (the only birthday I had growing up), I face-planted the birthday cake.

17. Pets: Well I have a drox named Dergy- oh like cats and dogs. No pets at the moment. I want so many pets. Dogs, rats, maybe a snake, a ferret. I want a whole zoo in my house.

16. Siblings. Legally, I have 5 half-siblings and 2 step-siblings. Only one of them is allowed/able to contact me, though.

15. Bucket-list items: Honestly I've never had much of a bucket list. I just wanna pay off my debts and live my life quietly.

14. Hobbies: Writing, drawing, voice acting, spreadsheets, video gaming board gaming, ttrpg'ing. I do a little bit of everything.

13. Go-To coffee order: Chai latte is the closest thing I drink to coffee. I can't stand bitter stuff, I need all the mulk and sugar and flavor.

12. Favorite way to unwind: I have a music playlist on YouTube called "Relax." It has music you wouldn't expect to be relaxing, but it always works like a charm.