I need the editor's name and I need it now

A lot! Like, A LOT, a lot. 🙂

All of this is the long way around of saying: wow. Some people really do lead a charmed life. But in the end...I'm glad I'm not that person.

I look around and see my tiny life. Some of the time, it's enough, the things I do feel meaningful. Some of the time, it's not. It never occurred to me to use my position as a way to enrich myself in any way other than "look at this! I get to make a living learning things! This is wonderful!"

I wonder what it is like to have the world open for you that way? Like she has all the keys that fit all the locks, and none of the locks are "ethics" or "hardship" or "economic distress"? What does that do to a person? What kind of person does that turn you into?

I am lucky. The system was rigged in my favor, that I can do this. I have a family and a dog and a house full of books and music. But when I see this Olivia person, with her committing questionable journalism, with people going out of their way to enable her, I cannot help but think:

It turns out I prepared well for it as an academic, because I focused on ethics. There is not a day that goes by that I don't have to use that training. I wouldn't change things. I don't regret not taking the jobs I was offered in LA, Chicago, Minneapolis, Boston.

I don't make anywere near a six-figure salary. The hours aren't great. It can be a real pressure cooker of a job. It requires being able to keep a lot of complex stuff readily available, mentally. It's not what you would call a fun job. It's a necessary job.

I suppose that is kinda true...I guess I was just thinking of "online persona" things. I mean, in real life, it's probably being on the radio, being a good baker, and reading a lot 🙂

I know I will be glad I did all this stuff come winter, but in this moment...ugh

I am sitting in an old house in East Lawrence listening to ABC and Duran Duran and Gary Numan and basically this means I am doing more or less exactly what was I doing on an autumn Saturday night in 1987

Up next, the Spotify playlist for that NXIVM oddball's morning spin class