I miss those. North Carolina has many fine food traditions, but paczki are not one of them.

Nope. "Named for somewhere else but pronounced creatively" is definitely a theme. My fave is Newark, pronounced "Nerk"

To all of those setting off fireworks in the suburbs at midnight, I hope that your fingers stay intact but your hangovers are worse than expected.

Gargantuan Gar there

And yes I did major in zoology why do you ask?