Kris Wernowsky
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kriswernowsky.com
Kris Wernowsky
@kriswernowsky.com
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Is it because he’s a lecherous attention seeker?
(See, you don’t know which one I’m talking about)
November 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
When the sun starts going down at 4:26 p.m.
November 11, 2025 at 1:01 AM
What's the matter, honey? You've barely touched your food-bourne illness.
November 10, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Every time Tim Kaine blows into this, your insurance premiums get more expensive.
November 10, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Learning Senate Dems might cave
November 9, 2025 at 10:57 PM
FOUR MORE YEARS!
November 8, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Kenny Boy is a straight-up all-timer side character. Up there with Newman, the Costanzas and Uncle Leo. Kirk Fox’s monologue in the elder heist episode of Reservation Dogs is 👨‍🍳🤌🏻
November 7, 2025 at 7:18 PM
There’s a chance you won’t.
November 7, 2025 at 1:12 AM
You in six months asking for seconds on your microplastics
November 7, 2025 at 12:09 AM
November 6, 2025 at 11:41 PM
November 6, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Don't Bread on Me
November 6, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Ackman has fallen
November 5, 2025 at 11:14 PM
When a skeet gets no likes.
November 5, 2025 at 4:48 PM
You will NEVER see the ideological opposite of this ad. Ever.
November 5, 2025 at 12:01 PM
We’re the onions, kid. We’re the fuel. We’re the mustard that explodes when there’s too much friction in the air.
November 5, 2025 at 4:01 AM
For Cheney
November 5, 2025 at 2:47 AM
BITTER BEER FACE
November 4, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Things getting us through American Life:
— Ghost of Yōtei
— Elections are tomorrow (maybe the last free and fair one)
— If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, in theaters, nationwide
— Pretending Dillon Brooks isn't playing for the Suns
— Saw the Cavs (lose) live
— That extra hour of sleep
— These dogs:
November 3, 2025 at 6:05 PM
This is lovely. An ex and I got an abused and, frankly, mean year-old minpin from a rescue. I ended up with him after we split. He became the best little boy who lived to be 17. Always happy to hear other stories of good rescues. Our little one (right) was pulled from a mill. Theo's in her thoughts.
November 3, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Visited the ladies of the Red Light District in Mike Pence's Indiana
November 2, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Beyond that, Walmart is a huge beneficiary of SNAP benefits. About a quarter of all SNAP spending is done at a Walmart. It is rewarded by the government for underpaying workers who rely on the government (not to mention the real estate tax loopholes and tax incentives).
November 2, 2025 at 12:33 AM
It’s been 47 years since an irresponsible mental health practitioner and the Haddonfield Police Department murdered an innocent man. Justice for Ben Tramer.
November 1, 2025 at 4:01 AM
NBA downtime entertainment is unmatched. The Cleveland Cavs’ Wine & Goldies absolutely brought it.
October 31, 2025 at 11:53 PM