BREAKING: A bunch of peaceful tourists with love in their hearts chanting “Hang Elon Musk” just broke in the windows of a Tesla dealership, stole stuff, and defecated on the floor.

BREAKING: The most watched video on several porn sites right now is just a live broadcast of Tesla’s falling stock value.

BREAKING: Pete Hegseth had to delay his Pentagon speech on masculinity today because his makeup artist was a half hour late.