The Halfway Post
@halfwaypost.bsky.social
Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire for your doomscrolling by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them.
Check out my Substack: https://substack.com/@thehalfwaycafe
Check out my Substack: https://substack.com/@thehalfwaycafe
BREAKING: A new poll found that Pam Bondi is now the most hated person in America.
February 14, 2026 at 11:44 PM
BREAKING: A new poll found that Pam Bondi is now the most hated person in America.
BREAKING: The National Association of Pedophiles has installed a 15-foot statue of Pam Bondi on top of the office building they rent out in honor of all the work she has done to protect pedophiles from criminal prosecution.
February 14, 2026 at 2:51 AM
BREAKING: The National Association of Pedophiles has installed a 15-foot statue of Pam Bondi on top of the office building they rent out in honor of all the work she has done to protect pedophiles from criminal prosecution.
BREAKING: European prosecutors say Pam Bondi is clearly acting as an accomplice of Epstein by not indicting anyone, and if she ever leaves the US they will extradite her to a European jail for justice.
February 14, 2026 at 12:32 AM
BREAKING: European prosecutors say Pam Bondi is clearly acting as an accomplice of Epstein by not indicting anyone, and if she ever leaves the US they will extradite her to a European jail for justice.
BREAKING: Top GOP officials are reportedly scrambling to defeat the SAVE Act after looking into passport data and finding out that the states with the lowest passport ownership rates are the Southern and Midwestern states that voted most disproportionately for Trump.
February 13, 2026 at 9:34 PM
BREAKING: Top GOP officials are reportedly scrambling to defeat the SAVE Act after looking into passport data and finding out that the states with the lowest passport ownership rates are the Southern and Midwestern states that voted most disproportionately for Trump.
BREAKING: Republicans are reportedly freaking out after realizing the SAVE Act will probably disenfranchise many more GOP voters because conservative women are more likely than liberals to be married, take their husbands’ names, and not be interested in getting a passport.
February 13, 2026 at 7:36 PM
BREAKING: Republicans are reportedly freaking out after realizing the SAVE Act will probably disenfranchise many more GOP voters because conservative women are more likely than liberals to be married, take their husbands’ names, and not be interested in getting a passport.
BREAKING: A new poll found that 83% of Americans approve of European courts extraditing for prosecution all the American accomplices of Epstein’s sex-trafficking ring because Pam Bondi is inexplicably giving them immunity.
February 13, 2026 at 4:50 PM
BREAKING: A new poll found that 83% of Americans approve of European courts extraditing for prosecution all the American accomplices of Epstein’s sex-trafficking ring because Pam Bondi is inexplicably giving them immunity.
BREAKING: A growing coalition of federal judges are reportedly furious at the inhumane, Nazi-like, 8th-Amendment-violating conditions of Trump's concentration camps, and are threatening to rule that ICE is unconstitutional for violating "the majority of our Bill of Rights."
February 13, 2026 at 2:56 PM
BREAKING: A growing coalition of federal judges are reportedly furious at the inhumane, Nazi-like, 8th-Amendment-violating conditions of Trump's concentration camps, and are threatening to rule that ICE is unconstitutional for violating "the majority of our Bill of Rights."
Why is no one talking about what a massive national security threat this is??
We Have No Idea How Many People Have Epstein Blackmail On Trump
This week's Dadaist graffiti news headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
February 13, 2026 at 5:05 AM
Why is no one talking about what a massive national security threat this is??
BREAKING: A new poll found that 96% of Americans are dumbfounded how Pam Bondi's DOJ could have catalogued thousands of photos and videos of child rape and murder, and not arrested anyone besides Ghislaine Maxwell, who is currently in a luxury prison.
February 13, 2026 at 1:19 AM
BREAKING: A new poll found that 96% of Americans are dumbfounded how Pam Bondi's DOJ could have catalogued thousands of photos and videos of child rape and murder, and not arrested anyone besides Ghislaine Maxwell, who is currently in a luxury prison.
BREAKING: A European judge reportedly says Trump Administration officials might need to be extradited for prosecution: "The President, and the people he has surrounded himself with, can't just get away with their involvement in the trafficking of hundreds of our European girls."
February 12, 2026 at 11:54 PM
BREAKING: A European judge reportedly says Trump Administration officials might need to be extradited for prosecution: "The President, and the people he has surrounded himself with, can't just get away with their involvement in the trafficking of hundreds of our European girls."
BREAKING: Conservative podcasters nationwide are demanding Pam Bondi’s resignation due to her possessing hundreds of uncensored videos of rape, torture, murder, and cannibalism going back 30 years in the Epstein Files, but not filing any indictments or making any arrests.
February 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM
BREAKING: Conservative podcasters nationwide are demanding Pam Bondi’s resignation due to her possessing hundreds of uncensored videos of rape, torture, murder, and cannibalism going back 30 years in the Epstein Files, but not filing any indictments or making any arrests.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly terrified that Europeans will subpoena all his bank records from the European banks he had to use after every US bank blacklisted him following decades of rampant fraud, and the Europeans will see all his suspicious transactions with Epstein.
February 12, 2026 at 5:13 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly terrified that Europeans will subpoena all his bank records from the European banks he had to use after every US bank blacklisted him following decades of rampant fraud, and the Europeans will see all his suspicious transactions with Epstein.
BREAKING: European prosecutors are reportedly planning to arrest all of Epstein’s American accomplices themselves if they leave the US because Pam Bondi is refusing to hold anyone accountable for abducting, assaulting, and killing hundreds of European children and teens.
February 12, 2026 at 3:27 PM
BREAKING: European prosecutors are reportedly planning to arrest all of Epstein’s American accomplices themselves if they leave the US because Pam Bondi is refusing to hold anyone accountable for abducting, assaulting, and killing hundreds of European children and teens.
BREAKING: The National Association of Pedophiles says Pam Bondi is ignoring all their calls, emails, and letters inviting her to their annual award ceremony where they wish to give her, in person, their “2025 Pedophile Ally of the Year” award.
February 12, 2026 at 2:00 PM
BREAKING: The National Association of Pedophiles says Pam Bondi is ignoring all their calls, emails, and letters inviting her to their annual award ceremony where they wish to give her, in person, their “2025 Pedophile Ally of the Year” award.
BREAKING: MAGA fans in Florida are demanding Donald Trump rename "Mar-a-Lago" because it's a Spanish name to save face after losing their minds over Bad Bunny performing in Spanish at the Super Bowl.
February 11, 2026 at 9:31 PM
BREAKING: MAGA fans in Florida are demanding Donald Trump rename "Mar-a-Lago" because it's a Spanish name to save face after losing their minds over Bad Bunny performing in Spanish at the Super Bowl.
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly worried she will be heckled everywhere she goes for the rest of her life.
February 11, 2026 at 7:28 PM
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly worried she will be heckled everywhere she goes for the rest of her life.
BREAKING: Protesters are reportedly mailing Howard Lutnick boxes of jerky with notes saying, "I hope this tastes better than the human jerky you probably ate on your trips to Epstein's island you lied to Congress about!"
February 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM
BREAKING: Protesters are reportedly mailing Howard Lutnick boxes of jerky with notes saying, "I hope this tastes better than the human jerky you probably ate on your trips to Epstein's island you lied to Congress about!"
BREAKING: A top GOP pollster is warning that Republican turnout in the midterms is collapsing due to rising inflation and the Epstein cover up, and the only enthusiastic GOP voters confident they won't stay home in November are self-avowed Nazis and registered sex-offenders.
February 11, 2026 at 3:34 PM
BREAKING: A top GOP pollster is warning that Republican turnout in the midterms is collapsing due to rising inflation and the Epstein cover up, and the only enthusiastic GOP voters confident they won't stay home in November are self-avowed Nazis and registered sex-offenders.
BREAKING: Donald Trump's list of countries he's going to cancel his tariffs for is also the list of countries that announced they are investigating Epstein's sex-trafficking ring.
February 11, 2026 at 3:28 AM
BREAKING: Donald Trump's list of countries he's going to cancel his tariffs for is also the list of countries that announced they are investigating Epstein's sex-trafficking ring.
BREAKING: European prosecutors are reportedly racing each other to obtain photos, videos, and testimony implicating Donald Trump in the Epstein sex-trafficking ring, and are referring to it as "Operation Orange Peel."
February 10, 2026 at 10:55 PM
BREAKING: European prosecutors are reportedly racing each other to obtain photos, videos, and testimony implicating Donald Trump in the Epstein sex-trafficking ring, and are referring to it as "Operation Orange Peel."
BREAKING: A billionaire is reportedly buying every billboard within 3 miles of Mike Johnson's house, and putting up images of the Epstein Files that name drop Donald Trump so Johnson can't say he didn't see them anymore.
February 10, 2026 at 9:04 PM
BREAKING: A billionaire is reportedly buying every billboard within 3 miles of Mike Johnson's house, and putting up images of the Epstein Files that name drop Donald Trump so Johnson can't say he didn't see them anymore.
BREAKING: Top Republicans are reportedly complaining that, if the American people demanded the resignation of everyone involved in the cover up of the Epstein Files, the Trump Administration would have "like 3 people left."
February 10, 2026 at 7:06 PM
BREAKING: Top Republicans are reportedly complaining that, if the American people demanded the resignation of everyone involved in the cover up of the Epstein Files, the Trump Administration would have "like 3 people left."
BREAKING: Several foreign countries that launched investigations into the Epstein Files last month are reportedly beginning to draft new trade and security strategies for dealing with President JD Vance.
February 10, 2026 at 5:42 PM
BREAKING: Several foreign countries that launched investigations into the Epstein Files last month are reportedly beginning to draft new trade and security strategies for dealing with President JD Vance.
BREAKING: A top GOP official says, "It looks like we f*cked ourselves helping Trump cover up the Epstein Files. My kids won't talk to me, my wife wants a divorce, and my legacy will forever include looking the other way as cannibal pedophiles ratf*cked our entire government."
February 10, 2026 at 3:20 PM
BREAKING: A top GOP official says, "It looks like we f*cked ourselves helping Trump cover up the Epstein Files. My kids won't talk to me, my wife wants a divorce, and my legacy will forever include looking the other way as cannibal pedophiles ratf*cked our entire government."
Donald Trump: "I hereby demand all countries stop immediately their investigations into the Epstein Files hoax! Thank you for your attention to this matter."
February 10, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Donald Trump: "I hereby demand all countries stop immediately their investigations into the Epstein Files hoax! Thank you for your attention to this matter."