The Halfway Post
@halfwaypost.bsky.social
Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire for your doomscrolling by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them.
Check out my Substack: https://substack.com/@thehalfwaycafe
Check out my Substack: https://substack.com/@thehalfwaycafe
Donald Trump has been a trailblazer for men wearing makeup
Trump Was Named "2025's Drag Queen Of The Year" For Normalizing Men Wearing Makeup
And this week's other Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
January 1, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Donald Trump has been a trailblazer for men wearing makeup
Check out the latest episode of Brain Milk, my political podcast for liberals!
Dash Talks With Adrian Polk
Brain Milk is a liberal podcast with 2% fat.
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
January 1, 2026 at 2:10 AM
Check out the latest episode of Brain Milk, my political podcast for liberals!
BREAKING: Trump's staffers are reportedly trying to talk him out of promising that he'll end the war in Ukraine on "day one of his second year as president."
January 1, 2026 at 12:20 AM
BREAKING: Trump's staffers are reportedly trying to talk him out of promising that he'll end the war in Ukraine on "day one of his second year as president."
Congrats to Trump!
Trump Was Named "2025's Drag Queen Of The Year" For Normalizing Men Wearing Makeup
And this week's other Dada News headlines!
open.substack.com
December 31, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Congrats to Trump!
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly hoping Melania Trump doesn't embarrass him again tonight during the Mar-a-Lago New Year's Eve Party.
December 31, 2025 at 9:04 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly hoping Melania Trump doesn't embarrass him again tonight during the Mar-a-Lago New Year's Eve Party.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly pissed off because a major newspaper just announced that, using Trump’s own metrics for stopping wars, Barack Obama stopped 119 wars to Trump’s 8.
December 31, 2025 at 6:51 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly pissed off because a major newspaper just announced that, using Trump’s own metrics for stopping wars, Barack Obama stopped 119 wars to Trump’s 8.
BREAKING: A famous squirrel in Boston who makes surprisingly accurate predictions about global events based on where he stashes his acorns has predicted that both Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin will die from natural causes this year.
December 31, 2025 at 5:47 PM
BREAKING: A famous squirrel in Boston who makes surprisingly accurate predictions about global events based on where he stashes his acorns has predicted that both Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin will die from natural causes this year.
BREAKING: Medical researchers in New York City who lost their grant funding from the D.O.G.E. cuts in January just named a new STD they discovered "Trumporrhea."
December 31, 2025 at 4:43 PM
BREAKING: Medical researchers in New York City who lost their grant funding from the D.O.G.E. cuts in January just named a new STD they discovered "Trumporrhea."
BREAKING: The most viral video on several of the top porn sites right now is a video montage of Donald Trump doing the dance where he looks like he’s jerking off two guys at once.
December 31, 2025 at 4:42 AM
BREAKING: The most viral video on several of the top porn sites right now is a video montage of Donald Trump doing the dance where he looks like he’s jerking off two guys at once.
BREAKING: Medical officials in Hawaii have added Trump’s name to a clinic specializing in treating STDs so the building and all its signs and billboards now read, “The Donald J. Trump Center For Syphilis and Chlamydia.”
December 31, 2025 at 12:58 AM
BREAKING: Medical officials in Hawaii have added Trump’s name to a clinic specializing in treating STDs so the building and all its signs and billboards now read, “The Donald J. Trump Center For Syphilis and Chlamydia.”
BREAKING: Several artists in Greenland are reportedly constructing statues throughout the capital city of Nuuk depicting Donald Trump being beaten up by teenage girls in a project they’re calling, “The Pedophile Will Never Take Our Island.”
December 30, 2025 at 11:53 PM
BREAKING: Several artists in Greenland are reportedly constructing statues throughout the capital city of Nuuk depicting Donald Trump being beaten up by teenage girls in a project they’re calling, “The Pedophile Will Never Take Our Island.”
BREAKING: Several countries in Europe with Trump-branded hotels and golf courses are reportedly labeling them on their maps of sex offenders because of the possibility that Donald Trump will visit sometime.
December 30, 2025 at 9:22 PM
BREAKING: Several countries in Europe with Trump-branded hotels and golf courses are reportedly labeling them on their maps of sex offenders because of the possibility that Donald Trump will visit sometime.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that if the Supreme Court rules his tariffs are unconstitutional, he won’t have enough money to fund the new, obsolete battleships he’s naming after himself.
December 30, 2025 at 7:54 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that if the Supreme Court rules his tariffs are unconstitutional, he won’t have enough money to fund the new, obsolete battleships he’s naming after himself.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that if the Supreme Court rules his tariffs are unconstitutional, he won’t have enough money to fund the new, obsolete battleships he’s naming after himself.
December 30, 2025 at 7:27 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that if the Supreme Court rules his tariffs are unconstitutional, he won’t have enough money to fund the new, obsolete battleships he’s naming after himself.
BREAKING: Economic data suggests that the biggest surges in bankruptcies and unemployment this year came from stores that sell MAGA merch.
December 30, 2025 at 5:24 PM
BREAKING: Economic data suggests that the biggest surges in bankruptcies and unemployment this year came from stores that sell MAGA merch.
BREAKING: The top manufacturer of diapers in Greenland has reportedly named their adult product line “Trumpers” in honor of Donald Trump.
December 30, 2025 at 4:09 PM
BREAKING: The top manufacturer of diapers in Greenland has reportedly named their adult product line “Trumpers” in honor of Donald Trump.
BREAKING: Donald Trump was just named as 2025’s “Drag Queen of the Year” for “his tireless advocacy for, and normalization of, men wearing makeup.”
December 30, 2025 at 3:07 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump was just named as 2025’s “Drag Queen of the Year” for “his tireless advocacy for, and normalization of, men wearing makeup.”
BREAKING: Florida Republicans reportedly wanted to write a law that would ban men from wearing makeup in public to discriminate against drag queens until they realized the law would also apply to Donald Trump.
December 30, 2025 at 5:10 AM
BREAKING: Florida Republicans reportedly wanted to write a law that would ban men from wearing makeup in public to discriminate against drag queens until they realized the law would also apply to Donald Trump.
MORE CITIES SHOULD NAME THEIR DUMPS AFTER DONALD TRUMP
12 Cities So Far Have Renamed Their Landfills In Honor Of Donald Trump
And this week's other Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
December 30, 2025 at 3:49 AM
MORE CITIES SHOULD NAME THEIR DUMPS AFTER DONALD TRUMP
BREAKING: Government officials in Greenland say they'll let Trump annex them in exchange for all the unredacted Epstein files, a photo of Trump without makeup or his hair done, and copies of every nondisclosure agreement Trump has ever made a woman sign.
December 29, 2025 at 11:06 PM
BREAKING: Government officials in Greenland say they'll let Trump annex them in exchange for all the unredacted Epstein files, a photo of Trump without makeup or his hair done, and copies of every nondisclosure agreement Trump has ever made a woman sign.
BREAKING: A viral trend in Greenland has almost every business and public building putting pictures of Donald Trump in their men's bathrooms' urinals.
December 29, 2025 at 10:05 PM
BREAKING: A viral trend in Greenland has almost every business and public building putting pictures of Donald Trump in their men's bathrooms' urinals.
BREAKING: A city in Transylvania is reporting a possible mass hysteria event where dozens of citizens weekly are calling police claiming that while walking alone at night they were followed and attacked by Stephen Miller.
December 29, 2025 at 8:53 PM
BREAKING: A city in Transylvania is reporting a possible mass hysteria event where dozens of citizens weekly are calling police claiming that while walking alone at night they were followed and attacked by Stephen Miller.
BREAKING: Kash Patel, 45 years old, is reportedly worried that if Trump fires him he won’t be able to impress his 28-year-old girlfriend and her friends anymore.
December 29, 2025 at 7:03 PM
BREAKING: Kash Patel, 45 years old, is reportedly worried that if Trump fires him he won’t be able to impress his 28-year-old girlfriend and her friends anymore.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that, when he dies, Melania will go on a glitzy national tour ten times as big as Erika Kirk's current events.
December 29, 2025 at 5:37 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried that, when he dies, Melania will go on a glitzy national tour ten times as big as Erika Kirk's current events.
The trend of cities naming landfills, dumpsters, and toxic EPA superfund sites after Trump is going viral!
12 Cities So Far Have Renamed Their Landfills In Honor Of Donald Trump
And this week's other Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
December 29, 2025 at 3:49 PM
The trend of cities naming landfills, dumpsters, and toxic EPA superfund sites after Trump is going viral!