The Halfway Post
@halfwaypost.bsky.social
Graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre—I don't report the facts, I improve them. Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras such as ours.
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BREAKING: Several Gen Z teens reportedly had their phones confiscated at Mar-a-Lago this weekend by their parents because they kept playing the Amber Alert sound every time Donald Trump made an appearance.
November 24, 2025 at 3:15 AM
BREAKING: Several Gen Z teens reportedly had their phones confiscated at Mar-a-Lago this weekend by their parents because they kept playing the Amber Alert sound every time Donald Trump made an appearance.
Very fitting for this Nosferatu imitator
Stephen Miller Has Reportedly Started Sleeping At Night In A Coffin
This week's Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Very fitting for this Nosferatu imitator
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The Halfway Café Is Offering 50% Off Of Paid Subscribers For $2.50/Month!
Hey, everyone, I’m offering 50% off of paid subscriptions for The Halfway Café to celebrate the many positive news developments this week:
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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BREAKING: A televangelist from Louisiana claims Taylor Swift's new album is "brainwashing an army of young women and girls into feminist freedom fighters to someday conquer the United States and enslave all the men and peg them."
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 PM
BREAKING: A televangelist from Louisiana claims Taylor Swift's new album is "brainwashing an army of young women and girls into feminist freedom fighters to someday conquer the United States and enslave all the men and peg them."
BREAKING: JD Vance reportedly feels "betrayed" because of how many of his favorite white supremacist Twitter accounts that post about preserving American heritage with federal xenophobia have turned out to be operating out of Africa, India, and Russia.
November 23, 2025 at 5:23 PM
BREAKING: JD Vance reportedly feels "betrayed" because of how many of his favorite white supremacist Twitter accounts that post about preserving American heritage with federal xenophobia have turned out to be operating out of Africa, India, and Russia.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly having trouble convincing staffers to do shady, illegal things because they are reading the polling tea leaves and fear Democrats will win a big majority in the midterms and investigate and prosecute them.
November 23, 2025 at 1:51 AM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly having trouble convincing staffers to do shady, illegal things because they are reading the polling tea leaves and fear Democrats will win a big majority in the midterms and investigate and prosecute them.
Trump's stench strikes again!
A Saudi Prince Said On A Hot Mic "Trump Smells Worse Than My Camel"
This week's Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Trump's stench strikes again!
BREAKING: Kash Patel is reportedly starting to worry people don’t take him seriously.
November 21, 2025 at 8:15 PM
BREAKING: Kash Patel is reportedly starting to worry people don’t take him seriously.
He can't hide it.
Donald Trump Can No Longer Hide His Dementia
Yesterday, in a press conference, Donald Trump did the following:
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:03 AM
He can't hide it.
BREAKING: After Karoline Leavitt said Trump was “frank, open, and honest" to call a woman "Piggy," a reporter told her, "Okay, your boss doesn't have enough clown makeup to conceal his manboobs, recent stroke, or rap sheet of raping girls with Epstein. That frank enough for you?"
November 21, 2025 at 1:50 AM
BREAKING: After Karoline Leavitt said Trump was “frank, open, and honest" to call a woman "Piggy," a reporter told her, "Okay, your boss doesn't have enough clown makeup to conceal his manboobs, recent stroke, or rap sheet of raping girls with Epstein. That frank enough for you?"
Pam Bondi is a reminder for every little girl with a dream to be a lawyer that, if they work hard enough, one day in the future they can help a global sex-trafficking ring of pedophiles escape justice and accountability.
November 20, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Pam Bondi is a reminder for every little girl with a dream to be a lawyer that, if they work hard enough, one day in the future they can help a global sex-trafficking ring of pedophiles escape justice and accountability.
BREAKING: A Congresswoman says she'll start listing the names of Trump's Epstein friends on the House floor where her speech is protected, and if any of those Epstein associates want to not be named they can send her signed affidavits ratting out Trump's crimes they witnessed.
November 20, 2025 at 9:29 PM
BREAKING: A Congresswoman says she'll start listing the names of Trump's Epstein friends on the House floor where her speech is protected, and if any of those Epstein associates want to not be named they can send her signed affidavits ratting out Trump's crimes they witnessed.
BREAKING: Several countries in Europe are reportedly playing hardball back at Trump, and demanding he cancel all the tariffs or they’ll release the Epstein Files their spy agencies have accumulated.
November 20, 2025 at 5:35 PM
BREAKING: Several countries in Europe are reportedly playing hardball back at Trump, and demanding he cancel all the tariffs or they’ll release the Epstein Files their spy agencies have accumulated.
BREAKING: A few Epstein victims are reportedly planning on doing an “Epstein Advent Calendar,” where every day of December they’ll announce the name of one rich or influential pedophile Trump is protecting, and on Christmas morning reveal what they know about Trump’s involvement.
November 20, 2025 at 4:42 PM
BREAKING: A few Epstein victims are reportedly planning on doing an “Epstein Advent Calendar,” where every day of December they’ll announce the name of one rich or influential pedophile Trump is protecting, and on Christmas morning reveal what they know about Trump’s involvement.
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly beginning to worry that, even though she is risking her law license and real prison time by signing off on sham prosecutions of Trump’s political enemies, Trump will still throw her under the bus at the first opportunity of political expediency.
November 20, 2025 at 3:27 PM
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly beginning to worry that, even though she is risking her law license and real prison time by signing off on sham prosecutions of Trump’s political enemies, Trump will still throw her under the bus at the first opportunity of political expediency.
The Saudis who had to sit next to Trump at the White House were not happy.
Middle East Officials Say Trump Smells Worse Than A Camel
And this week's other graffiti news headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 20, 2025 at 5:57 AM
The Saudis who had to sit next to Trump at the White House were not happy.
BREAKING: Out of habit, after seeing Epstein's name, Donald Trump reportedly wrote a creepy little poem about enigmas on the Epstein bill Congress just sent him.
November 20, 2025 at 3:53 AM
BREAKING: Out of habit, after seeing Epstein's name, Donald Trump reportedly wrote a creepy little poem about enigmas on the Epstein bill Congress just sent him.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried he pissed off so many foreign countries with tariffs that they're going to have their spy agencies leak all the Epstein Files they have incriminating him.
November 20, 2025 at 2:41 AM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly worried he pissed off so many foreign countries with tariffs that they're going to have their spy agencies leak all the Epstein Files they have incriminating him.
BREAKING: A female journalist just asked Donald Trump, "Why do you call women 'Piggy' when you have bigger tits than any woman in the press corps?"
November 19, 2025 at 11:50 PM
BREAKING: A female journalist just asked Donald Trump, "Why do you call women 'Piggy' when you have bigger tits than any woman in the press corps?"
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly beginning to suspect becoming Trump’s Attorney General was a professional mistake.
November 19, 2025 at 10:33 PM
BREAKING: Pam Bondi is reportedly beginning to suspect becoming Trump’s Attorney General was a professional mistake.
This is why he's so secretive about them!
There are 36 References To Trump Smelling Bad In The Epstein Files
This week's Dada News headlines!
thehalfwaycafe.substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 8:15 PM
This is why he's so secretive about them!
BREAKING: The mysterious feminist mafia that calls itself “The Cliterati” are reportedly using Tinder and changing their locations in the app to all the cities that ICE goes to so they can meet, unmask, and catalogue a giant database of the worst men in society.
November 19, 2025 at 6:54 PM
BREAKING: The mysterious feminist mafia that calls itself “The Cliterati” are reportedly using Tinder and changing their locations in the app to all the cities that ICE goes to so they can meet, unmask, and catalogue a giant database of the worst men in society.
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly "angrier than Yahweh in the Old Testament" after Senate Republicans passed the Epstein Files bill without adding any amendments that could give him an excuse for hiding some of the files.
November 19, 2025 at 5:57 PM
BREAKING: Donald Trump is reportedly "angrier than Yahweh in the Old Testament" after Senate Republicans passed the Epstein Files bill without adding any amendments that could give him an excuse for hiding some of the files.
BREAKING: Two dozen protesters dressed as pigs are reportedly chanting, "Here, Piggy Piggy!" outside the White House today.
November 19, 2025 at 4:23 PM
BREAKING: Two dozen protesters dressed as pigs are reportedly chanting, "Here, Piggy Piggy!" outside the White House today.