Alysis
@kisaaooni.bsky.social
This is my journal account. To vent my feelings & not put it on Twitter.
I am not safe under this roof, I am not safe in this world. Weed has influenced it being "good" when it only brought bad into my life. Every time I try to get away from it, I get pressured into it when its visibly killing me. I told them this but they dont care. I feel trapped & im dying slowly
December 1, 2025 at 7:12 AM
I am not safe under this roof, I am not safe in this world. Weed has influenced it being "good" when it only brought bad into my life. Every time I try to get away from it, I get pressured into it when its visibly killing me. I told them this but they dont care. I feel trapped & im dying slowly
A nurse asked me if I am living in a safe household. I paused but naturally answered yes, deep down I am struggling because I am stuck without a say or control over my life nor able to get this birth control out of my arm because my roommate/friend refuses to believe its made me emotionally unstable
November 26, 2025 at 3:22 PM
A nurse asked me if I am living in a safe household. I paused but naturally answered yes, deep down I am struggling because I am stuck without a say or control over my life nor able to get this birth control out of my arm because my roommate/friend refuses to believe its made me emotionally unstable
I am struggling with depression after a year of feeling like my emotions are a burden & been feeling like expressing my hurt feelings is a problem.. sometimes I just wish I wasn't born.. everyone treats my feelings as an issue rather than try to understand why I am hurting..
September 8, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I am struggling with depression after a year of feeling like my emotions are a burden & been feeling like expressing my hurt feelings is a problem.. sometimes I just wish I wasn't born.. everyone treats my feelings as an issue rather than try to understand why I am hurting..
I forget how manipulative, abusive & scummy my father can be. I try to stay mutual with my family for my grandmother's sake. I try to love my family unconditionally, but I cannot say I am close to them & will be willing to be tricked or abused again. My dad hurt my brother, threaten his life. (1/2)
August 16, 2025 at 8:35 PM
I forget how manipulative, abusive & scummy my father can be. I try to stay mutual with my family for my grandmother's sake. I try to love my family unconditionally, but I cannot say I am close to them & will be willing to be tricked or abused again. My dad hurt my brother, threaten his life. (1/2)
Im struggling with depression so bad, I think about x'ing myself because my roommates made it clear because they own the house I am paying rent for & doing all the cleaning- I have no rights & I don't feel like a human. Male roommate does things that upsets me but female roommate will side with him.
July 31, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Im struggling with depression so bad, I think about x'ing myself because my roommates made it clear because they own the house I am paying rent for & doing all the cleaning- I have no rights & I don't feel like a human. Male roommate does things that upsets me but female roommate will side with him.
I'm constantly fighting depression, mind always a battlefield. I have slown down on the thc due to high blood pressure, but without them I'm stuck with voices that pushes me down & makes me feel hopeless about living. I'm so tired of living & sometimes idk when things will ever get better..
July 12, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I'm constantly fighting depression, mind always a battlefield. I have slown down on the thc due to high blood pressure, but without them I'm stuck with voices that pushes me down & makes me feel hopeless about living. I'm so tired of living & sometimes idk when things will ever get better..
Its been 2 years since I fell apart after I put my heart & trust into a friend. Mentally never was able to recover, was scared of people online & stopped socializing all together. I mentally shutdown, now I have thrown myself into work & come home to give myself more chores & home. Im happy offline.
June 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Its been 2 years since I fell apart after I put my heart & trust into a friend. Mentally never was able to recover, was scared of people online & stopped socializing all together. I mentally shutdown, now I have thrown myself into work & come home to give myself more chores & home. Im happy offline.
I am proud of myself for focusing & taking care of myself & family instead of dropping money to random folks of the internet who lied to me about where the money was going. Still can't believe that there are people like that out their taking advantage of their friendships like that.. shame.
June 12, 2025 at 10:07 PM
I am proud of myself for focusing & taking care of myself & family instead of dropping money to random folks of the internet who lied to me about where the money was going. Still can't believe that there are people like that out their taking advantage of their friendships like that.. shame.
Those who use their own platform to harass & gain brownie points for strangers on the internet, are most likely still not happy with their lives. I was driven off the platform due 2 trauma created by others. I'm not wasting the rest of my remaining life behind a screen when I can focus on real life.
May 25, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Those who use their own platform to harass & gain brownie points for strangers on the internet, are most likely still not happy with their lives. I was driven off the platform due 2 trauma created by others. I'm not wasting the rest of my remaining life behind a screen when I can focus on real life.
Generational trauma needs to stop. Grandparents to parents, we refused to be the next trauma destructive kind of family. I refuse to have my kids be hurt & expected to support me or their grandparents. They should have a choice, they are their own people. So tired of family hurting each other.
March 6, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Generational trauma needs to stop. Grandparents to parents, we refused to be the next trauma destructive kind of family. I refuse to have my kids be hurt & expected to support me or their grandparents. They should have a choice, they are their own people. So tired of family hurting each other.
I want 2 cry but try 2 calm my mind down, my family is so broken, I want 2 be a happy family and I am only close w/my siblings.. Im trying my best to be there, 2 love them even when I suffered thru heavy abuse thru out my childhood.. my visit isnt a vacation, but witnessing how broken its become...
February 27, 2025 at 4:38 AM
I want 2 cry but try 2 calm my mind down, my family is so broken, I want 2 be a happy family and I am only close w/my siblings.. Im trying my best to be there, 2 love them even when I suffered thru heavy abuse thru out my childhood.. my visit isnt a vacation, but witnessing how broken its become...
Im struggling with my emotions since I got back home 2 see family. Grandpa is skinnier and is bruised/covered in bandage possibly from work. Grandma is emotionally struggling,her friends are passing away & shes lonely/84 years old...Brother & Dad had a fight a few years ago & not in speaking terms..
February 26, 2025 at 9:24 AM
Im struggling with my emotions since I got back home 2 see family. Grandpa is skinnier and is bruised/covered in bandage possibly from work. Grandma is emotionally struggling,her friends are passing away & shes lonely/84 years old...Brother & Dad had a fight a few years ago & not in speaking terms..
I still and care for my friends, even if I rarely am online/actively talking or hanging out. I never forget about you, I just have a lot going on with work & real life. I hope I am not viewed as a bad friend, but I know some things can't be helped. I am trying my best, thats all I can do 😥
February 20, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I still and care for my friends, even if I rarely am online/actively talking or hanging out. I never forget about you, I just have a lot going on with work & real life. I hope I am not viewed as a bad friend, but I know some things can't be helped. I am trying my best, thats all I can do 😥
Idk if I am one of the few women out there who is too scared *not* to have a job, because wanting to survive & afford things. I am too scared of not having a job, I dont want to depend on others for help & constantly worry. I work nearly full time now, tired but long shifts are worth the paycheck..
February 17, 2025 at 10:37 AM
Idk if I am one of the few women out there who is too scared *not* to have a job, because wanting to survive & afford things. I am too scared of not having a job, I dont want to depend on others for help & constantly worry. I work nearly full time now, tired but long shifts are worth the paycheck..
I really do got vtuber trauma 😭 Im hoping to go to therapy after my trip to see my grandma 🥺 Im sorry i've become recluse
February 6, 2025 at 9:06 AM
I really do got vtuber trauma 😭 Im hoping to go to therapy after my trip to see my grandma 🥺 Im sorry i've become recluse
I've been that child growing up with many challenges on top of physical & mental abuse from the grown ups of my family. I was the kid pulled out of classes for counseling. I was the kid people picked on and bullied, because I was too scared to stand up for myself in fear of getting hurt more.
January 16, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I've been that child growing up with many challenges on top of physical & mental abuse from the grown ups of my family. I was the kid pulled out of classes for counseling. I was the kid people picked on and bullied, because I was too scared to stand up for myself in fear of getting hurt more.
Next year, maybe end of next year or in 2026, I am looking into therapy. My boyfriend & friends who tried to check on me & saw my condition with my mental health. I told every friend how I had extreme trust issues that runs in my head & I have kept my distance online for over a year now. (1/2)
December 29, 2024 at 12:54 PM
Next year, maybe end of next year or in 2026, I am looking into therapy. My boyfriend & friends who tried to check on me & saw my condition with my mental health. I told every friend how I had extreme trust issues that runs in my head & I have kept my distance online for over a year now. (1/2)
Thanks to those distrustful & folks online who hide & lie to me which created a wake up call to never trust a single soul online ever again. Thanks to those who told me the truth to expose those who lied to me that I use to hold dear & trusted. I stop caring about online & focused on my real life-
December 7, 2024 at 10:49 PM
Thanks to those distrustful & folks online who hide & lie to me which created a wake up call to never trust a single soul online ever again. Thanks to those who told me the truth to expose those who lied to me that I use to hold dear & trusted. I stop caring about online & focused on my real life-
So many people abused me, because I never had the backbone to stop them or tell them no. The time i do stand up to someone, its was when I snapped. Now I'm so mentally pushed into a corner, I feel extremely violent as if I have nothing to lose. I don't have a safe space, for months now.
November 16, 2024 at 12:06 AM
So many people abused me, because I never had the backbone to stop them or tell them no. The time i do stand up to someone, its was when I snapped. Now I'm so mentally pushed into a corner, I feel extremely violent as if I have nothing to lose. I don't have a safe space, for months now.
My bf's grandparents has filed for bankruptcy a few days ago, which has made my bf extremely worried & emotional. I want to help, but I know that my paycheck alone can't simply fix their issue. What do I do? I can't resort back to streaming to help them while I work so much. I pray I can help enough
November 13, 2024 at 10:19 AM
My bf's grandparents has filed for bankruptcy a few days ago, which has made my bf extremely worried & emotional. I want to help, but I know that my paycheck alone can't simply fix their issue. What do I do? I can't resort back to streaming to help them while I work so much. I pray I can help enough
Too busy working to socialize 😶🌫️ my life is work at this point, to build a stable future for myself. So sleepy 💤
November 8, 2024 at 11:08 PM
Too busy working to socialize 😶🌫️ my life is work at this point, to build a stable future for myself. So sleepy 💤
Sometimes I do believe that years of trauma from bad experiences repeating over and over can permanently change someone, rewiring their brain to find comfort in something else that makes them feel safe. Would therapy really help? Not always. Sometimes trauma stays deeply rooted, & you cant get rid-
November 4, 2024 at 11:49 AM
Sometimes I do believe that years of trauma from bad experiences repeating over and over can permanently change someone, rewiring their brain to find comfort in something else that makes them feel safe. Would therapy really help? Not always. Sometimes trauma stays deeply rooted, & you cant get rid-
I apologize, I am not social as I once was. Trauma cannot be removed, I have my guard up for a reason. People took advantage of me intentionally in the past before my ADHD was slow to realize I was. It was only until *others* point it out, I had convinced myself to show myself more self respect.
October 31, 2024 at 3:57 PM
I apologize, I am not social as I once was. Trauma cannot be removed, I have my guard up for a reason. People took advantage of me intentionally in the past before my ADHD was slow to realize I was. It was only until *others* point it out, I had convinced myself to show myself more self respect.
For those who choose to follow me here because of the Twitter changes, my bio gives you a fair warning thst this where I vent about heavy stuff. I do not to Vtuber related things here, do not expect vtuber anything from me. I got used for money & asked for gifts from Vtubers who wants (1/2)
October 23, 2024 at 9:21 AM
For those who choose to follow me here because of the Twitter changes, my bio gives you a fair warning thst this where I vent about heavy stuff. I do not to Vtuber related things here, do not expect vtuber anything from me. I got used for money & asked for gifts from Vtubers who wants (1/2)
I don't have any massive goals in life. I just want to work, save money, afford living/surviving and mend my mental health... I don't see myself with a social media presence. I like being a nobody. The trauma, hurt & pain is too deep that I actual avoid making new friends & socializing..
September 18, 2024 at 6:38 AM
I don't have any massive goals in life. I just want to work, save money, afford living/surviving and mend my mental health... I don't see myself with a social media presence. I like being a nobody. The trauma, hurt & pain is too deep that I actual avoid making new friends & socializing..