Big spoon is great, sure, and some may argue little spoon is better, but have you considered the third, secret, forbidden option - middle spoon?

The government doesn't want you to know about middle spoon, because it will make you too powerful.

Me: "hey look isn't this weird, they put all the gauges in the middle of the steering wheel"

Bree, not missing a beat: "Hun that is a Transformer's asshole."

Think I'm ready to bite back.

These assholes look like someone crossed the most forgettable square jawed crypto bro with a fridge and an evil golden retriever, and I cannot/will not explain further.

Also, glad their latest bullshit failed. Sure is a shame people keep giving them money.

Really, AliExpress? Really?

men would rather be elon musk than go to therapy

Why does this ad feel so unhinged? It's for scrubs, somehow, but the vibes scream "AI" generated hallucinogenic nightmare fuel. All these people are just high AF trying to stare at the monsters surrounding them as they stumble home.

Lili over here looking at ads for lingerie on Instagram like "wow her tuck is so good" only to admit a minute later she just realized that the model "might be cis."

Not "is probably" - "might be."

My girlfriend is very normal.

Lili: "If I were in the Ultimate Fighter I would /easily/ have the biggest breasts."

Lili: I'm just like every other girl you've ever dated.

Also Lili: Hey you wanna Lady & the Tramp this tortilla chip?

Free speech for conservatives is when they can say what they want and when you can say what they want. bsky.app/profile/mjsd...

Lili: "I am very normal and like every other girl you've ever dated"

Also Lili: *singing about our new bed and sheets* "Gonna take these sheets to fuck town! Gonna fuck so hard we gotta move to Wisconsin!"

the trans experience of getting too stoned and thinking about your pre-transition life:

Send all conservatives to Ancient Greece with a Time Machine.

Part of why people get so excited for Halloween is because it's one of the few holidays that isn't centered around family. You can just go & do your own weird thing. Embrace your inner werewolf. Howl at the moon. Chase a squirrel. Pass out in your bath tub. No one will stop you.

September and October are the best time to be goth because people think you're fun and festive when you turn into a bat instead of creepy.

yeah, yeah, abundance leads to stagnation, stagnation leads to decay, decay leads to rebirth, look, are you gonna fuck me or what

Yeah, so... is it better here, or just different bad?