but like don't tell him it's not the real moon, just let him think he discovered it like Columbus

Have an awesome honeymoon with Zooey!!

An ingenious way to assert new and more powerful hypothesis re: the American culture institution of the "root beer float";

Yes but on a good day I look like this and genuinely pass for someone much younger, besides being transgender

I mean it's not a competition, but I'll tell you I don't feel fucking old that's for goddamn sure, even if I know good ol "goody two shoes"

What do you do anyway?

Worst thing about being fucking intelligent is that I don't have a goddamn degree and nobody takes me fucking seriously