Kimo Quaintance
@kimoq.bsky.social
Oh fuck yeah, the DB jinn have heard my challenge. The train just slammed on its brakes in the middle of nowhere and went dead silent, followed by the announcement that we've experienced "a technical malfunction" but hopefully we'll be on our way in "a few minutes."
October 22, 2024 at 8:08 PM
Oh fuck yeah, the DB jinn have heard my challenge. The train just slammed on its brakes in the middle of nowhere and went dead silent, followed by the announcement that we've experienced "a technical malfunction" but hopefully we'll be on our way in "a few minutes."
To which I say, I TAKE UP THE CALL TO ADVENTURE. I gladly ride the great sand worm we call the ICE. Fear is the mind-killer.
October 22, 2024 at 6:58 PM
To which I say, I TAKE UP THE CALL TO ADVENTURE. I gladly ride the great sand worm we call the ICE. Fear is the mind-killer.
I hear you saying, "But Kimo, don't mock the malevolent jinn that possess the DB infrastructure. Surely they'll spill mayonnaise in the gyroscope of your train and you'll spend the night in a field in Baden-Württemberg where even the Edge network dares not enter."
October 22, 2024 at 6:49 PM
I hear you saying, "But Kimo, don't mock the malevolent jinn that possess the DB infrastructure. Surely they'll spill mayonnaise in the gyroscope of your train and you'll spend the night in a field in Baden-Württemberg where even the Edge network dares not enter."
Two thousand stranded travelers pile on at the next station, challenging my plan to sit alone? I intentionally picked the seat with no window where someone puked on the floor, and am wearing my Airpods in my nose set to smell-cancelling.
October 22, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Two thousand stranded travelers pile on at the next station, challenging my plan to sit alone? I intentionally picked the seat with no window where someone puked on the floor, and am wearing my Airpods in my nose set to smell-cancelling.
Wifi so slow I could send an email faster via Morse code on a telegraph made via the salvged parts from your broken outlets? Joke's on you: I LIKE not working.
October 22, 2024 at 6:32 PM
Wifi so slow I could send an email faster via Morse code on a telegraph made via the salvged parts from your broken outlets? Joke's on you: I LIKE not working.
As for the train experience itself: can't plug in my phone because the outlet is somehow looser than a tattooed barista's earlobe? I brought my own charger.
October 22, 2024 at 6:28 PM
As for the train experience itself: can't plug in my phone because the outlet is somehow looser than a tattooed barista's earlobe? I brought my own charger.
It was only 2X the price of the normal ticket, but I get to pretend that I'm in a country with working infrastructure... like Spain, or Italy.
October 22, 2024 at 6:22 PM
It was only 2X the price of the normal ticket, but I get to pretend that I'm in a country with working infrastructure... like Spain, or Italy.
Thanks, DB, Bern. Let's do this again soon. End.
October 25, 2023 at 8:24 PM
Thanks, DB, Bern. Let's do this again soon. End.
Coda: I've got to take another train to Zurich because every hotel room in Bern is booked out for a champions league match, this dinner should have been an email, and for a closer, I got big wave splashed by a car in the rain and am now soaking wet. Amazing day, 10/10, no notes.
October 25, 2023 at 8:22 PM
Coda: I've got to take another train to Zurich because every hotel room in Bern is booked out for a champions league match, this dinner should have been an email, and for a closer, I got big wave splashed by a car in the rain and am now soaking wet. Amazing day, 10/10, no notes.
If only I'd known in advance, I would have brought my family along. Pumpkin carving train tours have got real potential.
October 25, 2023 at 4:39 PM
If only I'd known in advance, I would have brought my family along. Pumpkin carving train tours have got real potential.
Arrived in Basel, but will I make my connection? No, because the doors won't open again. I'm kicking myself for not bringing my skis, because clearly this holiday has potential. ?/n
October 25, 2023 at 4:29 PM
Arrived in Basel, but will I make my connection? No, because the doors won't open again. I'm kicking myself for not bringing my skis, because clearly this holiday has potential. ?/n
Very close to Switzerland now, though another long unplanned stop at the border means the connection in Basel will be very tight. Other passengers are optimistic, though I've long since accepted that this is not a business trip anymore. I've gone on holiday by mistake. 20/n
October 25, 2023 at 4:22 PM
Very close to Switzerland now, though another long unplanned stop at the border means the connection in Basel will be very tight. Other passengers are optimistic, though I've long since accepted that this is not a business trip anymore. I've gone on holiday by mistake. 20/n
I'm feeling like Bear Grylls for following my intuition to buy an extra large lunch to take on the train this morning in Düsseldorf Hbf. 19/n
October 25, 2023 at 4:11 PM
I'm feeling like Bear Grylls for following my intuition to buy an extra large lunch to take on the train this morning in Düsseldorf Hbf. 19/n
Looks like I'll be late for my dinner in Bern. I'm trusting my guests will figure that out themselves. They will have to, as there is no wifi on the train today, and I've now entered the Baden-Wurttemberg Triangle, where mobile signals disappear, never to be heard from again. 18/n
October 25, 2023 at 4:06 PM
Looks like I'll be late for my dinner in Bern. I'm trusting my guests will figure that out themselves. They will have to, as there is no wifi on the train today, and I've now entered the Baden-Wurttemberg Triangle, where mobile signals disappear, never to be heard from again. 18/n
Info on the app is getting more interesting by the hour. Is there some kind of DB bingo I can win by seeing enough different kinds of delay reasons in a single day? Other passengers seem ready to scream BINGO! and I'm worried I'm going to miss out 17/n
October 25, 2023 at 3:55 PM
Info on the app is getting more interesting by the hour. Is there some kind of DB bingo I can win by seeing enough different kinds of delay reasons in a single day? Other passengers seem ready to scream BINGO! and I'm worried I'm going to miss out 17/n
Now on the hunt for info on whether I'll make my connection to Bern (not Bonn as I typoed in the first post). Not optimistic, as I'm on a new train and now the DB app doesn't show the connection it did when I got on this one an hour ago. 16/n
October 25, 2023 at 3:51 PM
Now on the hunt for info on whether I'll make my connection to Bern (not Bonn as I typoed in the first post). Not optimistic, as I'm on a new train and now the DB app doesn't show the connection it did when I got on this one an hour ago. 16/n
Another stop in the middle of nowhere, but at least with a pleasant view. And a helpful announcement for those who are blind/sleeping/utterly confused but with no desire for clarity: "Dear passengers, we have made an unplanned stop. We will let you know when can continue." 15/n
October 25, 2023 at 3:46 PM
Another stop in the middle of nowhere, but at least with a pleasant view. And a helpful announcement for those who are blind/sleeping/utterly confused but with no desire for clarity: "Dear passengers, we have made an unplanned stop. We will let you know when can continue." 15/n
Glück im Unglück, it looks like I'll even catch the next connection to Bern, as that train is also more than 30 min late due to mayonnaise in the gyroscope. 14/n
October 25, 2023 at 11:14 AM
Glück im Unglück, it looks like I'll even catch the next connection to Bern, as that train is also more than 30 min late due to mayonnaise in the gyroscope. 14/n
Back in Köln, which is great, as it's always worth a second visit. 13/n
October 25, 2023 at 11:02 AM
Back in Köln, which is great, as it's always worth a second visit. 13/n
Morale is soaring now that someone has organized an air show of 3 Eurofighter Typhoons for us while we wait. Some legend in his 70s saunters up to my group standing in the cold and casually asks if this is the 1st class cabin. Laughter erupts. All we're missing now is cocktails. 12/n
October 25, 2023 at 10:45 AM
Morale is soaring now that someone has organized an air show of 3 Eurofighter Typhoons for us while we wait. Some legend in his 70s saunters up to my group standing in the cold and casually asks if this is the 1st class cabin. Laughter erupts. All we're missing now is cocktails. 12/n
Freedom! We're out of the train in Brühl. Morale is surprisingly high, and we're feeling like a proper team of adventurers. 11/n
October 25, 2023 at 10:37 AM
Freedom! We're out of the train in Brühl. Morale is surprisingly high, and we're feeling like a proper team of adventurers. 11/n
Exciting plot twist in Brühl: Now we're told DB has arranged for us to go BACK to Köln on another train... but the doors won't open. Interestingly, this is the first time the journey status has been accurately updated in my DB app. 10/n
October 25, 2023 at 10:10 AM
Exciting plot twist in Brühl: Now we're told DB has arranged for us to go BACK to Köln on another train... but the doors won't open. Interestingly, this is the first time the journey status has been accurately updated in my DB app. 10/n