@kileyfitzgerald.bsky.social
They/Them
Comedian and fan of polar seltzer.
Anti-fascist and attempting to live my life as a de-colonized anti-racist, intersectional queer person.
Comedian and fan of polar seltzer.
Anti-fascist and attempting to live my life as a de-colonized anti-racist, intersectional queer person.
@iambrandondiehl.bsky.social I’m a comedian, with adhd and a really big cat! How fun!
June 24, 2025 at 9:30 AM
@iambrandondiehl.bsky.social I’m a comedian, with adhd and a really big cat! How fun!
There are two wolves inside of me. One farts.
The other one enjoys the fart.
The other one enjoys the fart.
June 18, 2025 at 1:17 AM
There are two wolves inside of me. One farts.
The other one enjoys the fart.
The other one enjoys the fart.
I’m supposed to believe that Kamala Harris didn’t win the election but the Target boycott is big enough to rip that company’s valuation down by 12 billion dollars. It’s not adding up.
June 17, 2025 at 10:09 AM
I’m supposed to believe that Kamala Harris didn’t win the election but the Target boycott is big enough to rip that company’s valuation down by 12 billion dollars. It’s not adding up.
Deep cut hot take: Gary Oldman sounds like Tootsie in
The 5Th Element
The 5Th Element
June 15, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Deep cut hot take: Gary Oldman sounds like Tootsie in
The 5Th Element
The 5Th Element
I’ve had the same headshot since 2009. Yes, I’ve changed but if you’re hiring me for my look- it’s likely a role I don’t want to play
June 12, 2025 at 7:56 PM
I’ve had the same headshot since 2009. Yes, I’ve changed but if you’re hiring me for my look- it’s likely a role I don’t want to play
Nothing is more Boston than all of us knowing who Turtleboy was before the Karen Read trail.
June 12, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Nothing is more Boston than all of us knowing who Turtleboy was before the Karen Read trail.
Arresting people at their scheduled immigration processing meetings is like arresting someone for shoplifting while they’re paying at the register.
June 9, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Arresting people at their scheduled immigration processing meetings is like arresting someone for shoplifting while they’re paying at the register.
I’m a twink but fat.
June 8, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I’m a twink but fat.
It’s like when you have food poisoning and you don’t know if it feels better to barf or shit.
June 6, 2025 at 12:31 AM
It’s like when you have food poisoning and you don’t know if it feels better to barf or shit.
TFW: you’re in your 20’s and get to wear sunglasses to your friends wedding and it changes your whole personality for the day
June 3, 2025 at 5:45 PM
TFW: you’re in your 20’s and get to wear sunglasses to your friends wedding and it changes your whole personality for the day
Dramagic!!!
May 29, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Dramagic!!!
It’s crazy that we accept that identical twins, where the egg and sperm basically clone itself but the idea of being trans is too much for people to wrap their heads around
May 26, 2025 at 7:36 PM
It’s crazy that we accept that identical twins, where the egg and sperm basically clone itself but the idea of being trans is too much for people to wrap their heads around
If you think racists are “newly emboldened and coming out from under the rocks they’ve been hiding under”- sorry to tell you, you’ve been the one under the rock, they’ve always been here
May 24, 2025 at 5:47 PM
If you think racists are “newly emboldened and coming out from under the rocks they’ve been hiding under”- sorry to tell you, you’ve been the one under the rock, they’ve always been here
I’d like to be cast in a pharmaceutical commercial, I’ll act like I have herpes if it means I get to have a fun weekend with the girls taking cooking classes and outdoor baths in the Grand Canyon
May 24, 2025 at 12:16 PM
I’d like to be cast in a pharmaceutical commercial, I’ll act like I have herpes if it means I get to have a fun weekend with the girls taking cooking classes and outdoor baths in the Grand Canyon
Trans women in sports isn’t unfair to cis women but making a dead woman stay on life support until a fetus can be pulled from her is.
May 21, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Trans women in sports isn’t unfair to cis women but making a dead woman stay on life support until a fetus can be pulled from her is.
While Louisa May Alcott is known for her feminist fiction like “Little Women”, she is gaining popularity in 1800’s pulp erotica for her lesser known title “Little Rimmin’”
May 10, 2025 at 11:30 AM
While Louisa May Alcott is known for her feminist fiction like “Little Women”, she is gaining popularity in 1800’s pulp erotica for her lesser known title “Little Rimmin’”
Reposted
I don’t know how to tell white women that liking Beyoncé isn’t a personality.
May 6, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I don’t know how to tell white women that liking Beyoncé isn’t a personality.
Ever get a phantom craving to stick your hand in a big buckets of Smokey Eagle Snacks and shove the whole thing in your mouth and wash it down with a big swig of Diet Coke? Me either 👀
May 5, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Ever get a phantom craving to stick your hand in a big buckets of Smokey Eagle Snacks and shove the whole thing in your mouth and wash it down with a big swig of Diet Coke? Me either 👀
Breaking: Trump both arrested and deported the entire cast of
MST3k - standby as Fox News interprets exactly how this television show ties to the infamous gang!
MST3k - standby as Fox News interprets exactly how this television show ties to the infamous gang!
May 1, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Breaking: Trump both arrested and deported the entire cast of
MST3k - standby as Fox News interprets exactly how this television show ties to the infamous gang!
MST3k - standby as Fox News interprets exactly how this television show ties to the infamous gang!
I’m fixing to pull Susan Boyle- make myself look just so that even just a shred of talent gives me face lift and wig money for the rest of my life!!!!!
May 1, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I’m fixing to pull Susan Boyle- make myself look just so that even just a shred of talent gives me face lift and wig money for the rest of my life!!!!!
I long for the days when you could get rich by tricking your old highschool buddies into joining a pyramid scheme
April 28, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I long for the days when you could get rich by tricking your old highschool buddies into joining a pyramid scheme