my skin is hurting and burning :c

Either way what I was trying to say but I'll try to keep it way shorter now. I hate life and I'm not happy with life and I don't think no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to be happy as I know I call myself stupid a lot but that just me losing it plus smartness

I know I've been told to not think like this but I'm just stuck in constant suicidal mood, If I ever disappear then I'm really sorry, life is just tough :c

One day I will feel safe to be myself and express, one day I will feel safe to wear any clothing I like, one day I will have a family and will be able to transition with my beautiful girlfriend, one day I won’t have to be scared anymore :c

I feel like my life is pointless, like I don't find happiness in anything anymore, most times I feel like I got no emotions except anxiety and fear, I feel no sadness, no happiness, no excitement or love, speaking of love, it makes me feel like I'm aro which I'm not but yeah, I'm

I’m fine…

My step dad just came home with mum and banged on my door threaten to knock me out so I was holding the knife for self defence and if he would’ve entered I wouldn’t be scared to use it, I’m scared

I can't wait to get out of my house to finally live away from my toxic family with my gf and feel safe and finally able to transition, came back recently from my gf's family and I actually felt respected and not judged and like I had a family and safe, I didn't have to worry about those

Sooo... this morning started off meh, woke up, bit tired, cant really move but after a while I got out of my bed and made my bed and then I decide to go out of my room to go use the toilet, as I come out I come across my mum and she started to speak to me and I start to talk to her about that world

I don't really know why I have this account when I barely use my main lol