Kevin Windex
@kevinwhiteman.bsky.social
Author of “Neptune Nights” releasing in late 2025. He/him.
“Well, anyhoo, back to snorting crushed up walrus tusks. These erections won’t achieve themselves, you know.”
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
Health Secretary RFK Jr. says there's 'not sufficient' proof to show Tylenol causes autism
President Trump's health secretary said Tylenol should be used with caution during pregnancy, but solid data linking it to autism is lacking.
www.usatoday.com
October 30, 2025 at 7:44 PM
“Well, anyhoo, back to snorting crushed up walrus tusks. These erections won’t achieve themselves, you know.”
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
If there’s two things you can count on, it’s Trump squandering hundreds of millions of dollars on tacky bullshit that nobody asked for, and touching things without permission.
October 23, 2025 at 12:11 AM
If there’s two things you can count on, it’s Trump squandering hundreds of millions of dollars on tacky bullshit that nobody asked for, and touching things without permission.
The 4th of July is a lot like Hulk Hogan. Really fun and exciting as a kid, but then as an adult, he’s a Trump supporter having sex with your wife while saying the n-word.
July 4, 2025 at 5:57 PM
The 4th of July is a lot like Hulk Hogan. Really fun and exciting as a kid, but then as an adult, he’s a Trump supporter having sex with your wife while saying the n-word.
The only acceptable parades:
1) Pride
2) Astronauts returning home from the moon
3) The 1996 Chicago Bulls championship celebration where Dennis Rodman said the f word
#NoKings
1) Pride
2) Astronauts returning home from the moon
3) The 1996 Chicago Bulls championship celebration where Dennis Rodman said the f word
#NoKings
June 14, 2025 at 11:00 PM
The only acceptable parades:
1) Pride
2) Astronauts returning home from the moon
3) The 1996 Chicago Bulls championship celebration where Dennis Rodman said the f word
#NoKings
1) Pride
2) Astronauts returning home from the moon
3) The 1996 Chicago Bulls championship celebration where Dennis Rodman said the f word
#NoKings
It’s his party and you’ll die if he wants to.
June 11, 2025 at 4:19 PM
It’s his party and you’ll die if he wants to.
Friendly PSA for teachers: You don’t have to send EVERY SINGLE arts and crafts project home with the kids.
June 3, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Friendly PSA for teachers: You don’t have to send EVERY SINGLE arts and crafts project home with the kids.
Peace be with you.
AND ALSO WIT-CHU! -new pope
AND ALSO WIT-CHU! -new pope
May 8, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Peace be with you.
AND ALSO WIT-CHU! -new pope
AND ALSO WIT-CHU! -new pope
He’s just mad because some brown guy flipped over his table.
April 20, 2025 at 11:20 PM
He’s just mad because some brown guy flipped over his table.
So this is hawk tuah year. And I don’t feel any different. #deathcabforpookie #relevantjokes #cryptojokes #cryptolife #jimmycarter #jimmycartercrypto
December 31, 2024 at 7:10 PM
So this is hawk tuah year. And I don’t feel any different. #deathcabforpookie #relevantjokes #cryptojokes #cryptolife #jimmycarter #jimmycartercrypto
Fun fact: I’m what the French call "les incompetents.”
December 14, 2024 at 1:16 AM
Fun fact: I’m what the French call "les incompetents.”
Can one of you crypto bros explain what ANY of this means? #hawktuahfinancialadviceneededASAP
December 6, 2024 at 12:00 AM
Can one of you crypto bros explain what ANY of this means? #hawktuahfinancialadviceneededASAP
I played video games for the first time in almost a year this past weekend. Because, I’m happy to report, I’ve found interest in activities that I previously enjoyed. 👾 👾 👾
December 3, 2024 at 2:27 AM
I played video games for the first time in almost a year this past weekend. Because, I’m happy to report, I’ve found interest in activities that I previously enjoyed. 👾 👾 👾
Safe travels for everyone heading back from Illinois! And remember, crossing state lines with marijuana is a federal crime, so be sure to hide your dispensary purchases in a nondescript location like inside of a rolled up diaper or box of tampons. #planahead #thankfulgratefulblessed
November 30, 2024 at 5:16 PM
Safe travels for everyone heading back from Illinois! And remember, crossing state lines with marijuana is a federal crime, so be sure to hide your dispensary purchases in a nondescript location like inside of a rolled up diaper or box of tampons. #planahead #thankfulgratefulblessed
I ROLLED THREE YAHTZEES IN ONE GAME YOU MARKS!!! #Thanksgiving
November 29, 2024 at 1:31 AM
I ROLLED THREE YAHTZEES IN ONE GAME YOU MARKS!!! #Thanksgiving
Everyone knows that homemade is no match for Xanax straight out of the can. #Thanksgiving
November 28, 2024 at 2:44 PM
Everyone knows that homemade is no match for Xanax straight out of the can. #Thanksgiving
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU MY PAROLE OFFICER SAID ATTENDING HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL GAMES IS PERFECTLY LEGAL!!!
November 27, 2024 at 1:21 AM
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU MY PAROLE OFFICER SAID ATTENDING HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL GAMES IS PERFECTLY LEGAL!!!
Watching The Penguin and I’m enjoying it. He’s like a combination of Tony Soprano and…I dunno…Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
November 21, 2024 at 1:58 PM
Watching The Penguin and I’m enjoying it. He’s like a combination of Tony Soprano and…I dunno…Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
Appointing the wife of a rapist would be considered a DEI hire in this administration.
www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/p...
www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/p...
Linda McMahon expected to be named Education Secretary, sources say | CNN Politics
Trump transition co-chair Linda McMahon is expected to be named as secretary of the Department of Education, four sources familiar with the matter told CNN.
www.cnn.com
November 19, 2024 at 11:47 PM
Appointing the wife of a rapist would be considered a DEI hire in this administration.
www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/p...
www.cnn.com/2024/11/19/p...
This ad is specifically targeted at that guy you knew in high school who got caught smoking weed out of an apple in gym class.
November 19, 2024 at 7:31 PM
This ad is specifically targeted at that guy you knew in high school who got caught smoking weed out of an apple in gym class.
Hello. My debut book entitled “Neptune Nights” will be released in late 2025!
November 18, 2024 at 1:02 AM
Hello. My debut book entitled “Neptune Nights” will be released in late 2025!