My ex once woke me in the middle of the night to ask what I knew about the theory that Amelia Earhart was eaten by giant turtles (which, honestly, sounds pretty self-explanatory, not sure what else I could add). It’s not why we broke up but it didn’t help.

Half your size plus two inches, isn’t that Planchette rules?

Can’t we just like have a tea and a wine (not for you) in a BnB? We’re all so tired, I don’t want to have to pack my planchette, it’s 2’x2’

I hate that a good diet and exercise infinitely improves my depression that is also medicated and still deep, but it does. It feels cruel but it’s true. Though buttered bread is one of life’s simple joys.

The best part? Well, two. 1. No cooking. 2. Rarely eat it all in one sitting so it just sits in the fridge to pick at during the day.

The amount of times I’ve sat next to a woman in a bar or met one in the bathroom and said, “It’s all good, baby baby,” and they believed me? I could do this for you.

He'd still be frightened though, rest assured.

Kind of miss it. Love having my very own baby of a business, but really, the only person I could ask to fight in a parking lot is @justinseitz.bsky.social and he could just put his hand on my forehead and I'd be 3 feet away from reaching him.

I’m actually really glad to be of service cause I’ll never effectively give myself that reminder