Yes. Yes, I am.

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We gave away our free country.

No matter your station in life, it is your duty to
Fulfill your destiny, not to be a wide-eyed naif
About such no-longer-inconsequential things.
We made a mistake when we said we wanted
The Republicans (who were once so opposed to big government)
To stick their warty noses in everything.

I wish I had a pet gladiator bear to protect me,
My unpopular choices and opinions,
My new hair and uncanny ability to identify cool rocks.
Real talk, though: RFK Jr. talks pride in gutting the agencies
That protect us from pandemics.

I think I’d really like to live someplace else
Where “light” is pronounced “licht”
And ordinary citizens can’t be picked up off the street
For obscure offenses and dissidence.
The elusive “they” are disappearing people.

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Then again, they have so often seen a change in regime,
They no longer know which leaders to hate.

Every year we ask the same question: who did this?
But we already know the answer to our inquiry.
Imagine Europeans observing light and shadow,
Sculpting sexy horse statuettes,
Laughing at our redundant idiocy.

Truly terrified then, they will deny, will suddenly remember,
God doesn’t care whether you have the brain
Of a man or a woman, if you gave your children
Woke names like Tyler and Justin, or named a girl Charlie.

I hope a lava fountain, pouring down their pants,
Ruins any type of manhood they have left,
And the sun will hit them at just the right angle
To blind them from their “grand vision.”

The latest crazy proves what we already know:
We will find ourselves again,
Somewhere wedged between a tiny floof pet
And this not-so-new land we call home.