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justmyhandle.bsky.social
E-Z
@justmyhandle.bsky.social
40 followers 83 following 430 posts
Physics Student of the Year (2000). One time Nicolas Cage was in my backyard but my family hadn’t invited him. We let him stay though.
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justmyhandle.bsky.social
Mfw I spend 40 years coordinating nato allied countries most sensitive comms and listen to the president tell me it’s time to roll tanks into Philadelphia
Screenshot of New York Times app with headline: “Trump administration live updates: President tells top brass American cities should be ‘training grounds’ for military”. A large audience of military leaders sits in the foreground. Close up of two highly decorated officers in the audience of the first picture. A white male and a black male each wearing dark blue uniforms with numerous ribbons and medals sit looking aghast and dismayed.
September 30, 2025 at 3:00 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Bessent:
Screenshot from the Simpsons showing chief Wiggum in the background with an elderly clerk in the foreground reading from a scroll to an assembled crowd. He is saying, “Wait. I’ve discovered more lines on the parchment.”
August 29, 2025 at 9:16 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Heartwarming: this senior BigLaw partner got to spend a day on the field with Yankee Legend Johnny Damon.
Screenshot of Johnny Damon’s Instagram post featuring two smiling men in New York Yankees uniforms and caps, on the field at yankee stadium. One is Johnny Damon and the other is Paul O’Neill, but age has transformed him from the lanky, black haired outfielder of my youth to a guy who looks like someone asked AI to picture a fixed income MD at a Wall Street bank.
August 13, 2025 at 5:20 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
The Seinfeld gang in jail.
May 29, 2025 at 2:41 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Though judging by the attire we can’t rule out deployment of the brown note gun.
It’s the big man himself, Donald Trump, wearing a white polo and dress trousers hiked up so high that the waistline is even with the polo sleeves.
April 9, 2025 at 5:03 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Typing “shooting guard knicks” into the LinkedIn search bar and hoping for an EasyApply button.
A LinkedIn update with the nba logo that reads “follow national basketball association to see open roles and company insights”
March 18, 2025 at 5:01 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
When you’ve been married a decade but still get incredibly nsfw texts.
An extremely phallic and out of focus sausage looms in the foreground above a package of its brethren. Texts from my wife below ask “is this mold on the sausages”
March 3, 2025 at 10:10 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
The gray lady, famously taking bold stands against fascism.
New York Times headline from March 20, 1938: “a new chapter written in an amazing career; adolf hitler has risen from obscurity to a dominant position in the European scene”
February 14, 2025 at 9:32 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
The age of man is over.
It’s the orc from return of the king, but his head is a bird flu virus particle.
February 14, 2025 at 9:08 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
I was thinking:
A bottle of miller high life.
January 27, 2025 at 8:25 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Bing your alot of help. (80% Tomatometer for this PG-13 movie that is not a mask).
Bing search AI confidently and wrongly states with respect to the 1994 movie The Mask that “The Mask does not have a rating on Rotten Tomatoes but the NIOSH system rates masks as N95, N99, and N100, while the movie has a PG rating for stylized violence, crude humor and language.”
December 26, 2024 at 8:59 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
As stunned employees gather in a conference room a steely eyed EVP gets up on the table and gives the Leo speech from wolf of Wall Street except it’s "we're gonna keep fucking denying claims!!" and the office goes apeshit.
A Gmail alert from just now saying “Unitedhealthcare notifications now online. A new explanation of benefits. New information is ready for you online.”
December 4, 2024 at 9:43 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
I gotta say @learnedleague.bsky.social it’s hard not to take this personal code, uh, personally…
It’s a learned league poll with a personal voting code. The code is UFUCKNBK. I already voted so you can’t use it.
December 3, 2024 at 8:13 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Is this the Hyperloop?
Close up of a portion an AI generated image showing a donut shaped highway. It just goes around in a circle. There are no on or off ramps.
December 2, 2024 at 8:08 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Mine was not outdoors in the woods but rather in a dedicated space inside the home.
Tandy 1000, a keyboard attached with a curly wire to a rectangular cpu with space for two floppy disks. Stop sits a heavy looking crt monitor. It’s in the woods for some reason? I dunno it’s the Wikipedia image.
November 18, 2024 at 9:44 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
When the wife says to throw away last week’s leftovers because they’ve probably gone bad.
Isildur saying “No,” he’s going to keep the ring and eat the leftovers. He’s going to come to regret those choices.
November 15, 2024 at 4:34 AM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Tahnk u again gloogo
Google search results showing “trending baseball players” and the number one result says Jack Del Rio, American football. 2 and 3 are Juan Soto and Travis D’arnaud who actually are baseball players.
November 15, 2024 at 12:28 AM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Does this mean my insurance will finally pick up the cost of brain pills?
-Theo Grackle, Machinist
A man with dark hair and an open collar shirt. He’s one of the people from the onion’s person on the street series.
November 14, 2024 at 7:04 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Thamk u googol
Google AI says: shohei ohtani, a two way player for the Los Angeles dodgers, bats left handed but throws right handed. This is known as being a “switch hitter.”
October 27, 2024 at 2:51 AM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Does a CPR mannequin count?
Cover of Radiohead album the bends, a blurry close up of a cpr doll’s face with head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth slightly agape.
October 8, 2024 at 2:41 AM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
With all the dogpiling on Google destroying search, let’s not forget that we at least have Bing, the multibillion-dollar algorithm that does not know what a year is.
Bing search result for “when was 1970” shows Bing’s analysis to read, in part, that 1970 was “the year that began on January 1, 1970 and ended on December 31, 1979.” (The Wikipedia entry to which it cites correctly refers to this period as the “decade” of the “1970s.”
May 29, 2024 at 1:10 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
“I’m just your memory. I can’t give you any new information.”

Also:
Still from the Simpsons with a sign reading: Community Centrr Welcome Candy convention Room 1! Also Candy-shaped Rat poison Convention Room 11
May 9, 2024 at 8:22 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
A still from the Simpsons’ planet of the apes musical with orangutans bowing to Dr Zaius, as Troy McClure and an ape nurse look on.
May 2, 2024 at 5:58 PM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Still better than Twitter’s suggestions.
Screenshot of old Twitter, reading “recommendations for you: years of chronic depression”
May 2, 2024 at 2:03 AM
justmyhandle.bsky.social
Impossible Cottage Pie Baking Tin
A drawing of an impossible Penrose baking tray. I mean, rectangle.
April 19, 2024 at 7:43 PM