The one thing in my life that has remained consistent is that I am in fact the only person I can rely on.

I don't know if I will ever be able to reconcile how an ER sent a three year old with 105 degree fever home without figuring out why he had that fever. They could have saved the people I love a whole host of pain if they had done their due diligence.

She was in my dreams last night. We were walking around some kind of large vendor market and kept walking past each other. The people she was with stopped to chat and were very kind. She looked right through me like I never existed and I never mattered.

My family's inability to understand how they trigger my anxiety is astounding. And then when I try to get them to stop, they make me feel bad. My dad might not be a conversationalist and might do the weirdest things that make me crazy, but at least he doesn't give me panic attacks.

One of my biggest forms of masochism may be how I keep kickstarting and purchasing multiplayer board games when I have no one to play them with.

A lot of people really don't notice what a difficult time I'm having right now. My hysterectomy is in just over four weeks and there is so much to do at work and at home before then. I'm afraid that the people who are supposed to be there to help me through recovery will let me down 1/4

Okay, friends and random internet folk, I'm going to be starting the semaglutides and I've also got surgery coming in March. For regular life, give me your favorite high fiber and high protein recipes and snacks. For recovery life, give me your favorite freeze ahead recipes.

Sometimes I just wonder what goes through people's heads. After posting about the Iikelihood of my upcoming hysterectomy, a cousin responded "It's no big deal, relax" and an aunt posted her medical horror stories. Like, thanks? Glad to see lack of empathy and being self-centered is genetic...

Today is your birthday. Even though we don't talk anymore, I hope that you have found a way to do something you want today and only spend it with people who lift you up.

Two years since my dad had his stroke. Nothing could have prepared for where I've ended up two years later. Never planned on being his caregiver. Never planned on walking away from my chosen family. Never planned on staying in one place this long with no obvious exit strategy.

Nothing has ever made me feel more useless than knowing someone I love is in a horrible abusive relationship and not being able to do anything other than hold space for them and hope they make the decision to leave.

The trailers for the new Quiet Place movie have been frequent. It makes me sad, I watched the last one in the theater with you. You watched me more than the movie because you were waiting for me to jump. I didn't have nightmares because I didn't have to sleep alone.

We're coming up on two years since I had to make the call and stop trying to contact the people I thought were my family. I keep thinking I'll wake up one day and it won't hurt as much. But every time I leave my house, a small, very stupid part of me hopes they'll be there when I get back.