Justine
@justine.cool
Mistress of none. Unwellness expert. Etymology fangirl.
Ⓥ for the animals. You may know me as @ctrlaltjustine
Ⓥ for the animals. You may know me as @ctrlaltjustine
4 ways to mind your business.
November 13, 2025 at 11:37 AM
4 ways to mind your business.
Haven’t spoken out loud since Thursday and only came to that realization after I started talking to myself at home just now.
November 9, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Haven’t spoken out loud since Thursday and only came to that realization after I started talking to myself at home just now.
This RadioShack phone was the last phone I ever loved.
October 21, 2025 at 2:12 PM
This RadioShack phone was the last phone I ever loved.
I want a group chat where when you’re crying, for whatever reason, you can message 🚨, and people in the chat reply with happy things.
October 17, 2025 at 6:59 PM
I want a group chat where when you’re crying, for whatever reason, you can message 🚨, and people in the chat reply with happy things.
"Berlin is a vegan paradise!"
The food in Berlin:
The food in Berlin:
October 2, 2025 at 1:49 PM
"Berlin is a vegan paradise!"
The food in Berlin:
The food in Berlin:
Happy Spooky Lake Month to all who celebrate!
September 30, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Happy Spooky Lake Month to all who celebrate!
Don’t forget to leave out a bottle of Tylenol for Autism Santa tonight.
September 26, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Don’t forget to leave out a bottle of Tylenol for Autism Santa tonight.
Plenty of things between the different dialects of English where vocabulary can be misconstrued, but a couple personal favorites are:
🇬🇧 scheme: plan
🇺🇸 scheme: evil plan
🇬🇧 homely: cute/cozy (US: homey)
🇺🇸 homely: ugly/plain
🇬🇧 scheme: plan
🇺🇸 scheme: evil plan
🇬🇧 homely: cute/cozy (US: homey)
🇺🇸 homely: ugly/plain
September 24, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Plenty of things between the different dialects of English where vocabulary can be misconstrued, but a couple personal favorites are:
🇬🇧 scheme: plan
🇺🇸 scheme: evil plan
🇬🇧 homely: cute/cozy (US: homey)
🇺🇸 homely: ugly/plain
🇬🇧 scheme: plan
🇺🇸 scheme: evil plan
🇬🇧 homely: cute/cozy (US: homey)
🇺🇸 homely: ugly/plain
The longest Monday in the history of Mondays is finally at an end.
September 22, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The longest Monday in the history of Mondays is finally at an end.
Herbstlichen Glückwunsch! 🍁🍂
September 22, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Herbstlichen Glückwunsch! 🍁🍂
Me when there’s no broccoli in the fridge
a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
ALT: a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in the park .
media.tenor.com
September 11, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Me when there’s no broccoli in the fridge
When my friends say they’re too cool for tiktok—you’re only hurting yourself babe. I’ve got two old ladies dancing to the spice girls and I could’ve sent that to you saying “us”.
September 9, 2025 at 8:10 PM
When my friends say they’re too cool for tiktok—you’re only hurting yourself babe. I’ve got two old ladies dancing to the spice girls and I could’ve sent that to you saying “us”.
The emotional roller coaster of finding out that Mac DeMarco is on tour, playing in Berlin in November, and the tickets are sold out. 😭
September 9, 2025 at 8:31 AM
The emotional roller coaster of finding out that Mac DeMarco is on tour, playing in Berlin in November, and the tickets are sold out. 😭
I've always imagined the 'straw' that broke the camel's back to be the kind you sip from.
September 6, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I've always imagined the 'straw' that broke the camel's back to be the kind you sip from.
Every year I cross my fingers that Stendig will release an all black version, and every year I am disappointed.
September 5, 2025 at 8:26 AM
Every year I cross my fingers that Stendig will release an all black version, and every year I am disappointed.
You can always tell when a product team is getting restless. Changes that don’t improve the experience at all but were made nevertheless.
September 4, 2025 at 7:48 PM
You can always tell when a product team is getting restless. Changes that don’t improve the experience at all but were made nevertheless.
An old lady just laughed at me on the street.
To be fair my face is like pink-pink and I’m covered in sweat.
To be fair my face is like pink-pink and I’m covered in sweat.
September 4, 2025 at 1:53 PM
An old lady just laughed at me on the street.
To be fair my face is like pink-pink and I’m covered in sweat.
To be fair my face is like pink-pink and I’m covered in sweat.
I don't think Spotify knows that Grizzly Bear has many more (and better) songs than 'Two Weeks'.
September 3, 2025 at 11:28 AM
I don't think Spotify knows that Grizzly Bear has many more (and better) songs than 'Two Weeks'.
German food-language logic:
Nothing is "Brot", but everything is "Kuchen".
Nothing is "Brot", but everything is "Kuchen".
September 1, 2025 at 9:38 AM
German food-language logic:
Nothing is "Brot", but everything is "Kuchen".
Nothing is "Brot", but everything is "Kuchen".
I'd rather be eating at Nando's than figuring out everything that should get done this week. 😔
August 30, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I'd rather be eating at Nando's than figuring out everything that should get done this week. 😔
Had a blast eavesdropping on english folks talking about the US tonight. Truly a great pastime.
August 22, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Had a blast eavesdropping on english folks talking about the US tonight. Truly a great pastime.
Ludo, my suitcase, has now seen more of London than I ever have.
Been watching him all day on Find My cross all parts of this city.
Been watching him all day on Find My cross all parts of this city.
August 19, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Ludo, my suitcase, has now seen more of London than I ever have.
Been watching him all day on Find My cross all parts of this city.
Been watching him all day on Find My cross all parts of this city.
Losing my mind over referring to ai fuckwits as “botlickers”
Easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m keeping that one
Easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m keeping that one
August 13, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Losing my mind over referring to ai fuckwits as “botlickers”
Easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m keeping that one
Easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I’m keeping that one