they have officially brought out the Halloween candy! Who’s ready for spooky season??
August 14, 2024 at 3:52 AM
they have officially brought out the Halloween candy! Who’s ready for spooky season??
Lying to the police to protect my church softball team
August 6, 2024 at 2:18 AM
Lying to the police to protect my church softball team
There are teenagers out there having unprotected sex but putting cases on their phones
June 1, 2024 at 6:06 PM
There are teenagers out there having unprotected sex but putting cases on their phones
I want someone to scream this while holding me at gunpoint
May 23, 2024 at 11:06 AM
I want someone to scream this while holding me at gunpoint
If you don’t make a Facebook post about your mom tomorrow you obviously don’t love her and you’re disrespectful
May 11, 2024 at 10:39 PM
If you don’t make a Facebook post about your mom tomorrow you obviously don’t love her and you’re disrespectful
Something I don't think we're doing nearly enough of as a society is building giant mysterious structures to confuse future archaeologists
April 26, 2024 at 5:24 PM
Something I don't think we're doing nearly enough of as a society is building giant mysterious structures to confuse future archaeologists
Every time you play the lottery you know you're gonna lose but a little bit of you is just like yeah I'm definitely gonna win
April 20, 2024 at 1:52 AM
Every time you play the lottery you know you're gonna lose but a little bit of you is just like yeah I'm definitely gonna win
After years of my home not being burglarized, I'm really beginning to wonder -- Do I need to buy nicer things
April 11, 2024 at 1:04 AM
After years of my home not being burglarized, I'm really beginning to wonder -- Do I need to buy nicer things
I don't hate Led Zeppelin, but lots of people do - what are all the reasons people hate them?
April 8, 2024 at 7:26 PM
I don't hate Led Zeppelin, but lots of people do - what are all the reasons people hate them?
The only reason I listened to Death Cab For Cutie was because I wanted girls to like me
April 7, 2024 at 3:56 PM
The only reason I listened to Death Cab For Cutie was because I wanted girls to like me
Hating classical music is unfortunate but not a mortal sin. Hating jazz is extremely suspicious though. Not saying everyone has to love it, just there is no excuse to disrespect it
April 7, 2024 at 3:54 PM
Hating classical music is unfortunate but not a mortal sin. Hating jazz is extremely suspicious though. Not saying everyone has to love it, just there is no excuse to disrespect it
I want Kanye West to play at my wedding. But instead of beats his DJ only has two sample pads: loud gunfire and an airhorn
April 6, 2024 at 4:35 PM
I want Kanye West to play at my wedding. But instead of beats his DJ only has two sample pads: loud gunfire and an airhorn
I enjoy hearing untalented people struggle to make beautiful sound or express meaningful ideas more than I enjoy hearing pitch perfect or masterfully trained musicians effortlessly recite heartless nonsense
April 6, 2024 at 4:35 PM
I enjoy hearing untalented people struggle to make beautiful sound or express meaningful ideas more than I enjoy hearing pitch perfect or masterfully trained musicians effortlessly recite heartless nonsense
They said that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles, but who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
March 31, 2024 at 8:41 PM
They said that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles, but who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Extremely confused what anti-choice activists have against the joyous feeling of cumming inside someone & not having to raise a child after
March 31, 2024 at 2:55 AM
Extremely confused what anti-choice activists have against the joyous feeling of cumming inside someone & not having to raise a child after
Life hack for the guys (girls keep scrolling): buy this this and put on 3 squirts before a date. Ladies love it
March 26, 2024 at 4:03 PM
Life hack for the guys (girls keep scrolling): buy this this and put on 3 squirts before a date. Ladies love it
A fun prank you can play on your coworkers this weekend is to stare at the sun until you lose vision, then show up to work on Monday completely blind
March 23, 2024 at 11:23 PM
A fun prank you can play on your coworkers this weekend is to stare at the sun until you lose vision, then show up to work on Monday completely blind
Her liking other men before we even knew each other existed just don’t sit right with me
March 22, 2024 at 5:08 PM
Her liking other men before we even knew each other existed just don’t sit right with me
Every few years you should injure yourself badly on purpose so you have to go through the hell of recovery and appreciate normal life again
March 18, 2024 at 11:45 PM
Every few years you should injure yourself badly on purpose so you have to go through the hell of recovery and appreciate normal life again
Whoever named the fruit "blood orange" was the most dramatic person of all time
March 13, 2024 at 7:01 PM
Whoever named the fruit "blood orange" was the most dramatic person of all time
"The heart wants what it wants" -Idiot who thinks people store feelings in their hearts
March 10, 2024 at 6:56 PM
"The heart wants what it wants" -Idiot who thinks people store feelings in their hearts
I finally understand why people have kids, it's the ultimate excuse to cancel plans with anyone whenever you want
March 10, 2024 at 3:31 AM
I finally understand why people have kids, it's the ultimate excuse to cancel plans with anyone whenever you want
I used to really enjoy staying at hotels. Of course, that was before I learned I could fill a bucket with ice at home
February 29, 2024 at 12:48 AM
I used to really enjoy staying at hotels. Of course, that was before I learned I could fill a bucket with ice at home
There's nothing more annoying than the things most people do all of the time
February 11, 2024 at 7:47 PM
There's nothing more annoying than the things most people do all of the time
When guests walk into your home, their first thought should always be, “It smells like Missouri”
February 4, 2024 at 5:07 PM
When guests walk into your home, their first thought should always be, “It smells like Missouri”