(I’m not mad, just baffled? like, I get we’re all working adults with our own lives, but years in a row? when we still talk, otherwise? help me understand)

greece as the inspiration behind locations in so many current and upcoming games. I don’t regret cutting my trip short, but I don’t think I’ll be traveling internationally again. at least, not anytime soon.

the thought of a bruise I’ve had since before he passed finally fading. every day, I’m farther from the version of me that still shared the same space and time.

being told by my photographer friend that I now have what she calls the “mask” — an indelible mark that wasn’t there, prior to my loss.

my mom installed security cameras to help keep my grandmother safe; it’s both a blessing and a curse, to see and hear things not necessarily meant for me whenever I check in.

seeing the floor plan for my parents’ new house. we can’t afford to keep the current one; it’s just not practical, besides; but the four of us (my grandparents, my mom and I) lived together in that house for 20 years.

7 p.m. hits harder, now. ever since I moved about 10 years ago, he would call me and we would talk (almost) every night at 7.

missed calls, because without them, I wouldn’t have voicemails. I probably have over a hundred. still, I wish I had more.

apologies. no matter how caring or well-intentioned, every “I’m sorry” feels like a knife twisting in my gut, reinforcing the permanence of it all; and the permanence is the hardest.

this is still on my list of things to do, in the near future! work has kept me busy ;;