SaltBAE Systems
@jumpeduptelex.bsky.social
If you interacted with me between 2012 and 2019 you may be entitled to compensation
David Cameron bemoaning the lack of preventitive health programmes in the NHS...
November 25, 2025 at 1:55 AM
David Cameron bemoaning the lack of preventitive health programmes in the NHS...
Would I go to hell if I printed this on a t-shirt?
November 14, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Would I go to hell if I printed this on a t-shirt?
Never Forget (how long it takes to cook)
September 20, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Never Forget (how long it takes to cook)
Reminded me of the best editorial email of all time:
September 19, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Reminded me of the best editorial email of all time:
It is 2015. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2019. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2025....
It is 2019. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2025....
September 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
It is 2015. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2019. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2025....
It is 2019. The current Labour leader is wrongly assuming Twitter reflects public opinion.
It is 2025....
Gonna cut up plastic bottles with these then pay an escort to shout at me so I can simulate being in a relationship.
September 6, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Gonna cut up plastic bottles with these then pay an escort to shout at me so I can simulate being in a relationship.
The experience of watching a Stephen King adaptation about 50% of the time
September 4, 2025 at 9:05 PM
The experience of watching a Stephen King adaptation about 50% of the time
Yeah I can't think of anything about modern Britain that would make people want to pleasantly dissociate for a few hours
August 14, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Yeah I can't think of anything about modern Britain that would make people want to pleasantly dissociate for a few hours
Just a little curtain-shibari for a Saturday afternoon
July 12, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Just a little curtain-shibari for a Saturday afternoon
Today I had a look at history's only ever swing-aqueduct
June 29, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Today I had a look at history's only ever swing-aqueduct
That friend who only texts when they want something
June 12, 2025 at 9:54 PM
That friend who only texts when they want something
Forget Trump v Musk, this is the real beef for our times
June 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Forget Trump v Musk, this is the real beef for our times
Listening to some Judas Priest and it will never not be hilarious how the metal community was SHOCKED when Rob Halford came out as gay
June 7, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Listening to some Judas Priest and it will never not be hilarious how the metal community was SHOCKED when Rob Halford came out as gay
Decisions were made
June 4, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Decisions were made
Paper covers rock:
May 30, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Paper covers rock:
Got myself a lil Friday treat*
*(vintage soviet naval clock)
*(vintage soviet naval clock)
May 30, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Got myself a lil Friday treat*
*(vintage soviet naval clock)
*(vintage soviet naval clock)
The conclave has me thinking about the climax of Assassins Creed 2 where you have to fist fight the Pope
May 8, 2025 at 12:51 PM
The conclave has me thinking about the climax of Assassins Creed 2 where you have to fist fight the Pope
I hope they stick with this idea for it. I need 90 minutes of pure vibes with as little backstory or worldbuilding as possible.
May 6, 2025 at 1:41 PM
I hope they stick with this idea for it. I need 90 minutes of pure vibes with as little backstory or worldbuilding as possible.
Really helpful, lads. Wouldn't have known the road was closed without the sign
February 13, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Really helpful, lads. Wouldn't have known the road was closed without the sign
Got some yellow roses to brighten up my desk
February 6, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Got some yellow roses to brighten up my desk
Me whenever I see someone in mild-to-moderate fog using their foglights, despite the visibility clearly being over 100 metres
December 29, 2024 at 3:59 AM
Me whenever I see someone in mild-to-moderate fog using their foglights, despite the visibility clearly being over 100 metres