SaltBAE Systems
@jumpeduptelex.bsky.social
If you interacted with me between 2012 and 2019 you may be entitled to compensation
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
Impeccable vibes to look at the news every day and see a piece about how the country's getting worse, often through deliberate government action, next to a piece saying that if you're feeling mentally ill about it, no you're not.
December 6, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Impeccable vibes to look at the news every day and see a piece about how the country's getting worse, often through deliberate government action, next to a piece saying that if you're feeling mentally ill about it, no you're not.
I tapered off the serties because I didn't feel depressed anymore and you'll never guess what...
November 26, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I tapered off the serties because I didn't feel depressed anymore and you'll never guess what...
David Cameron bemoaning the lack of preventitive health programmes in the NHS...
November 25, 2025 at 1:55 AM
David Cameron bemoaning the lack of preventitive health programmes in the NHS...
Would I go to hell if I printed this on a t-shirt?
November 14, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Would I go to hell if I printed this on a t-shirt?
Am I depressed or just hungry?
October 10, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Am I depressed or just hungry?
A damp Friday afternoon, and not in a good way.
October 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
A damp Friday afternoon, and not in a good way.
Never Forget (how long it takes to cook)
September 20, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Never Forget (how long it takes to cook)
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
this is the GOAT tumblr post and always will be
September 12, 2025 at 5:59 AM
this is the GOAT tumblr post and always will be
As a hot single guy I'd like more information about slavery and gay people at your properties please
Customer feedback this week;
‘Please can you get some more diversity at the National Trust by encouraging more hot men to visit.’
Ideas for how we do this v welcome. Nothing too racy please - we are the National Trust not the National Tryst.
‘Please can you get some more diversity at the National Trust by encouraging more hot men to visit.’
Ideas for how we do this v welcome. Nothing too racy please - we are the National Trust not the National Tryst.
September 6, 2025 at 9:15 PM
As a hot single guy I'd like more information about slavery and gay people at your properties please
A man was mad that I made a joke about Mad Men
September 6, 2025 at 9:09 PM
A man was mad that I made a joke about Mad Men
Gonna cut up plastic bottles with these then pay an escort to shout at me so I can simulate being in a relationship.
September 6, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Gonna cut up plastic bottles with these then pay an escort to shout at me so I can simulate being in a relationship.
Bluesky's so earnest it's exhausting. Where's the shitposting?
September 4, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Bluesky's so earnest it's exhausting. Where's the shitposting?
Yeah I can't think of anything about modern Britain that would make people want to pleasantly dissociate for a few hours
August 14, 2025 at 10:16 AM
Yeah I can't think of anything about modern Britain that would make people want to pleasantly dissociate for a few hours
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
why is the hardest question 'is there anything i can do to help?'
August 12, 2025 at 10:06 PM
why is the hardest question 'is there anything i can do to help?'
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
Porn and art with sexual themes deserve to exist on their own merit, not because censoring them has knock-on effects for non-sexual content. Please stop expressing outrage by implying that censorship would be okay if it *just* affected sex workers and artists engaging with sexual themes.
July 26, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Porn and art with sexual themes deserve to exist on their own merit, not because censoring them has knock-on effects for non-sexual content. Please stop expressing outrage by implying that censorship would be okay if it *just* affected sex workers and artists engaging with sexual themes.
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
Just a little curtain-shibari for a Saturday afternoon
July 12, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Just a little curtain-shibari for a Saturday afternoon
Today I had a look at history's only ever swing-aqueduct
June 29, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Today I had a look at history's only ever swing-aqueduct
Reposted by SaltBAE Systems
Sure I’m a safe space but like, not ‘you can be an arsehole all the time’ safe. I have limits.
June 17, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Sure I’m a safe space but like, not ‘you can be an arsehole all the time’ safe. I have limits.
That friend who only texts when they want something
June 12, 2025 at 9:54 PM
That friend who only texts when they want something
Forget Trump v Musk, this is the real beef for our times
June 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Forget Trump v Musk, this is the real beef for our times
Listening to some Judas Priest and it will never not be hilarious how the metal community was SHOCKED when Rob Halford came out as gay
June 7, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Listening to some Judas Priest and it will never not be hilarious how the metal community was SHOCKED when Rob Halford came out as gay
Shoutout to everyone who did ket this weekend and managed not to call any world leaders a paedo
June 6, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Shoutout to everyone who did ket this weekend and managed not to call any world leaders a paedo
Decisions were made
June 4, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Decisions were made