Rioters are putting cheese under boxes held up with sticks and trapping ICE agents when they go for the cheese

The Alpharius and Omegon call here is not only the right one but shows a man of discerning taste.

If the world was just...

we are going to use this one a lot

just so many Oscars and Felixes

it has such a kick ass name too. Cincinnati is just so rad a name.

Send them to a farm upstate where they can run around freely and frolic and be happy?

I went with some friends to see The Offspring play when I was a junior in high school and while we were exhausted on the way home my friend told this joke and i have never heard a group of people laugh louder or longer than that night.

bullshit the American Dream is to ride dinosaurs. you can't fool me with your superhero shit. i dreamed of riding dinosaurs and being friends with a dinosaur that could talk.

where's my fucking talking dinosaur?

fuck yeah man! congrats to you both! so happy for you!

Look, if you have a place where black or brown people already live and that place absolutely must be fucked up beyond all recognition and stripped of its wealth then you call the British Empire. I don't think anyone has the track record of just being the worst thing to happen to somewhere like them

Look, in his defense, when it's a single minor it's called "sex with a child" not "sex with children."