mm. egg in me
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jormungender.bsky.social
mm. egg in me
@jormungender.bsky.social
kil/ash | 38/m/reptile | i needed a side account for horny goofy furry shit | banner by lambstooth@tumblr | av by swampjaws.bsky.social | cw: i like eggs/big/preg/monsters | ❤️ @midnight.jaesond.cc
maybe what feel weird is that it's so omnidirectional for me, like my brain sees nothing wrong with wanting huge knockers and nuts lol
December 12, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I think I tried to explain to someone once as like. Imagine if you were an arachnophobe and every other human on the planet had a giant, glistening, bristling spider for a head. But you still wanted human company. That's kind of what it feels like sometimes.
December 12, 2025 at 3:33 PM
At some point, deep in my psyche, attention became equal to IMMEDIATE PERIL and I feel bad having to be like 'nothankyousorrybye' to anyone who approaches me.
December 12, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I can't even pinpoint what I'm so anxious about. Maybe I'm tensing up to reject them, and I'll feel shitty about it. And I'll reject them because I just don't want the attention. My brain is like this, then has the fucking gall to also whine about being lonely and having no one to talk to.
December 12, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I've been like this for a while now. I can banter with people in 'public' (ie chatrooms like discord or something) but one on one I just get this horrible pit of dread. I think I would be more comfortable publid speaking than talking 1:1 with a stranger, even online.
December 12, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Like.. I don't know. Is it social anxiety when you can exist in public but the second someone sees or tries to interact with you specifically you feel this immense wave of dread? I'm not really paranoid about whether people like me or not, i just Do Not Want To Be Seen.
December 12, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I wish I could be flattered or something but it just drives my anxiety nuts to be Noticed. I still have really bad creative burnout and I want to save what little scraps I can muster for Jae. I also just have so much anxiety talking to people in general, even within the framework of furry sex RP.
December 12, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I can be sitting in a public space, doing nothing, and have multiple people come up and whisper to me or try to get my attention. Before, I could idle in the plaza (a central area on Tapes) and just people watch for days without someone approaching me.
December 12, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I'm logging on really with just the intent of bugging him. I never really got much attention back in the day, I disappeared lot and never got close toa nyone. But now when I log in, with the same character and desc I had a decade a go, I get WAY more interaction from random people and I just.. why?
December 12, 2025 at 3:15 PM
(and navigating us both having a severe pregnancy kink when I could actually get pregnant but we absolutely do not want kids is ROUGH)
but anyway. Basically, I didn't go anywhere, we didn't RP. I've hopped back on recently since he was traveling for work, so I fell back into long-distance mode.
December 12, 2025 at 3:14 PM
That wasn't a huge deal, Jae had other people to play with on there, but it sucked in a way since we both have a lot of kinks we just can't do IRL. He can rail me all he likes, I'll never end up with a big clutch of eggs in me ghfsjkg
December 12, 2025 at 3:11 PM
RP felt awkward when the other party is like, right there. Over this time period I've also like.. felt very, very burned out creatively. Trying to write RP poses became the same kind of torment as trying to write anything or draw.
December 12, 2025 at 3:10 PM
I ended up meeting and marrying the one person I met and befriended on there. (I knew other people there, Tapestries, but we usually met somewhere else first.) But anyway, I fell off going there after Jae moved in since, well, we could fuck for real now and-
December 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
is it made of real boys??
December 12, 2025 at 1:19 AM
i'm not sure butter is a good lube
December 12, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I have enough gut and thighs that once I manage to achieve a vacuum seal I'm committing to staying in that exact position for a -while-, since the slightest thing will pop it off and ruin the effect. I almost wish there was something I could anchor inside of me to keep it in firmer
December 12, 2025 at 12:51 AM
So, kind of? If you're thinking of the pink ones available at a lot of sex toy stores, Jae said they're kind of garbage (and I defer to his expertise lol) and we were experimenting with some tubes from I believe Mr S leather that were meant for balls, since that's what he primarily does. Basically-
December 12, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I haven't tried it myself yet (i keep meaning to indulge in some kind of lingere corset or something before i have to kiss my tits goodbye) but i've seen this tool highly recommended www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php
December 11, 2025 at 11:57 PM
i dunno, I don't know what any of it means besides maybe i'll indulge in some more feminine clothes just for wearing inside or at like explicitly queer spaces. Maybe get some things to celebrate my boobs while I still have them. I hope i at least get sick scars afterwards
December 11, 2025 at 2:11 PM
I'm still trying to finalize a 'sona' design for myself but I think they have to fundamentally be a shapeshifter because i'm too goddamn indecisive. I wouldn't complain if I could have a giant cock and balls too, and there are times I really wish I did, but I wouldn't want to give up my vag either.
December 11, 2025 at 2:08 PM
I like the dichotomy of having facial hair, a deep voice, long hair, big boobs and just a very thick, prominent puss/chode of a clit. I've tried to do short haircuts to look more masc and I think they make me dysphoric somehow. I also just really like long hair lol
December 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
knowing I will probably *have* to get top surgery to avoid cancer is making me sad. I really don't mind my boobs, I even like them in a lot of ways, which I can't say about much of my body.
Now that I have a beard I'm more open to doing shit like wearing harnesses or lingerie or something too
December 11, 2025 at 2:03 PM