Jonathan Teo
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jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Jonathan Teo
@jonathantoteo.bsky.social
59 followers 180 following 100 posts
Australian * Widow * Lover of Japan * Born on stolen Lenni Lenape Land * Live on stolen Woiworung Country * He/Him * 🏳️‍🌈

Interested in explowring how we grieve and how various groups, especially the LGBTQIA+ community, confront the concept of death.
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jonathantoteo.bsky.social
#buildingsofcarlton #buildingsofmelbourne
November 17, 2025 at 11:52 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
#doorsofcarlton #doorsofmelbourne
November 17, 2025 at 11:51 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
This is from the Pretty Painful Grief Book on Instagram - found at @prettypainfulgriefbook

It says a lot.

#grief #widowhood #bereft #pain #thepriceoflove #prettypainfulgriefbook
Black text on a white background that says "They say grief is the price we pay for love. And if that's true, I'd pay it again and again. Even knowing how much it hurst now. Even knowing the ache will never leave. Because what I had - what we shared - was worth every ounce of this heartbreak. Love that deep doesn't vanish. It lingers in the empty spaces, in the memories, in the ache that never really softens. And, yes, it's painful. Sometimes unbearably so. But it's also sacred. Proof that they were real. Proof that they mattered. Proof that even the sharpest pain comes from something beautiful."
November 5, 2025 at 3:36 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
#grief #widowhood #bereft #everythingchanges
Image of a wooden walkway going into the fog in the distance with the words "When you lose someone you truly love with all your hear, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. CHANGES. You are handed a new life that you never asked for and that you don't particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific, life-altering of things to live with."
November 5, 2025 at 3:16 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
The greatest gift I ever received was his love.

#love #loss #lovestilllives #widowhood #grief #bereft
Image by @risewithgrief says “I lost you. But I also got to love you. And to be loved by you. That love still lives in every part of me. I will forever be grateful for that.”
October 21, 2025 at 2:12 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
From a support group for widowed people (i.e., wids), here are some that they all agree you shouldn't say.

You may think you're being supportive and/or understanding, but you're not when you say these things to us.

Pt. 2

#widowhood #grief #bereft #dontsaythat
Image that says "Don't say these things to someone whose person* has died, Pt 2" and the asterisk explains that the person refers to "their spouse or partner". Image: The next thing not to say "I know how you feel. My pet died" with the explanation, "As with #1, this is not the same. Whilst it is understood that pets are often seen as part of our families, losing a pet to death is not the same as losing your person, the love of your life, the one you thought you'd be together with for decades." Image: The next thing not to say, "Everything happens for a reason/It was God's will." with the explanation "This is not as comforting as you think. They just lost their person. Their world has collapsed. The life they thought they were going to have is gone. And, you offering this platitude does not make them feel better." Image: the next thing not to say "Why are you dating already?" with the explanation "The opposite of #3. It is their life and their grief journey. Even if you are a widowed person yourself, remember they aren ot you. Don't put personal judgement on how they handle that journey. They know what is right and best for them."
October 20, 2025 at 1:56 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
From a support group for widowed people (i.e., wids), here are some that they all agree you shouldn't say.

You may think you're being supportive and/or understanding, but you're not when you say these things to us.

Pt. 1

#widowhood #grief #bereft #dontsaythat
Image that says "Don't say these things to someone whose person* has died, Pt 1" and the asterisk explains that the person refers to "their spouse or partner". Image: The first thing not to say is "I know how you feel. I recently broke up with my person" with the explanation "This is not the same. The end of your relationship was a choice. And, your person is still alive. ou could get back together with them. Widowed people didn't have a choice and don't have this option." Image: the next thing not to say is "It's been [amount of time]. Isn't it time to get over it and move on?" with the explanation "Would you say this to someone who is grieving their dead child? Their dead parent? Sibling? No? Then why are you saying it to a widowed person?" Image: the next thing not to say is "When are you going to start dating again?" with the explanation "Yes, some widowed people start dating again at some point. But, this question can be seen to be negating the person's grief or the memory of their person. And, again, would you ask someone who has lost a child when they are having another?"
October 19, 2025 at 11:44 PM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
The lack of him in my life will never diminish. I will just find ways to move forward and grow around his absence.

#widowhood #grief #bereft #loss
Post that states "His absence is ever present; a hole in my life that will never be filled".
October 16, 2025 at 1:41 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
It's been 2 years since Julian's death. Two years of missing him every day. Two years of trying to move forward, to find a new path without him.

His absence is ever present.

I love him as much today as I did then. I will always love him. He will never be forgotten. ❤️❤️❤️

#grief #widowhood #bereft
October 12, 2025 at 11:00 PM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
October 5, 2025 at 2:13 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
#old #tired #epicshit #mehpicshit #meh
October 5, 2025 at 2:11 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Vale Hyacinth Bucket.

I hope your place in the afterlife has a sauna, a swimming pool & room for a pony.

And that you’re using your Royal Doulton china w/the hand painted periwinkles for a candlelight supper w/the angels.

#hyacinthbucket #ladyofthehouse #itsbouqet #patriciaroutledge
October 4, 2025 at 12:55 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
This. He was my home. He made my world better.

I not only lost him the day he died; I lost myself because who I was was because of his presence, his influence, his LOVE.

#bereft #grief #widowhood #loss #death
September 26, 2025 at 3:49 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
#rapture2025 #mirandapriestly #devilwearsprada
Image of the character Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada. She is saying "Why is no one raptured" in the same way the character actually said "Why is no one ready" in the movie.
September 25, 2025 at 3:53 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Death of a loved one and the grief that comes after has no grand cosmic purpose.

You create out of it, though, what you can and move forward, carrying that grief with you.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #noreason #moveforward
September 21, 2025 at 1:28 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
This. All this.

He was my home. And now my home is gone and there is no going back to it.

#homeiswheretheheartis #hewasmyhome #hewasmyheart #grief #widowhood #bereft
September 16, 2025 at 10:53 PM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
I know people mean well, but please don't say that you understand because you lost your (grand)parent/sibling, and definitely not your pet.

I wouldn't dare tell someone who lost a child that I understand because I lost Julian.

It is not the same.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #loss #itsdifferent
September 12, 2025 at 9:53 PM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
His ripples live on. Though, sometimes, I think I'm the only one who sees/feels the ripples. Others have seemingly forgotten him. Sigh.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #ripples #heexisted #terrypratchett #reaperman
September 12, 2025 at 2:44 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Time hasn't healed anything. Oh... it is "easier" in some ways. His absence is more familiar in some ways. But, I still miss him every day. Almost 2 years later and that has not changed.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #timedoesntheal #missinghim
September 11, 2025 at 4:55 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Just became a certified Mental Health First Aider through Mental Health First Aid Australia.

Mental health is important & it is great that first aid is no longer just available for our medical/physical health.

#mentalhealthfirstaid #mentalhealth #MHFA
September 10, 2025 at 6:08 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
I miss him quietly all the time.

But feel the loss so loudly.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #missingyou #BeckyHemsley
September 9, 2025 at 10:57 PM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
My therapist said something similar to me. Julian's death created a detour toward my life's destination - a happy and fulfilling life. But, it hasn't ended the journey. I'm just now on it alone and will have to take a new route.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #rerouted #lifejourney
September 9, 2025 at 3:40 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Memories of our dead loved ones are always welcome. Don't hold onto them. Share them with us.

#grief #bereft #widowhood #memories
September 7, 2025 at 9:52 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
Every f*cking day!

#grief #bereft #widowhood #thinkaboutyou #everyday #memories #neverforgetyou
September 6, 2025 at 5:03 AM
jonathantoteo.bsky.social
We can grieve those we loved who have died. But, that grief, whilst healthy, will not bring them back and we must move forward. But, when we move forward, we can honour them and their impact on our lives by keeping their memory alive.

#grief #bereft #movingforward #honourthem #livewithpurpose
September 6, 2025 at 2:13 AM