JohnnyDcm
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johnnydcm.bsky.social
JohnnyDcm
@johnnydcm.bsky.social
950 followers 1.5K following 3.6K posts
Guitarist in my new band, Ground Zero.

If you like my jokes, I will follow you. And you will like it.

Writing songs didn't work out, so I'm trying out writing a couple of novels. Watch this space.

Link to my music:
https://johndaviesinfo.weebly.com/
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johnnydcm.bsky.social
JohnnyDcm @johnnydcm.bsky.social · Nov 13
Will.I.Am is a distant relative of Henry the 8th I.Am.I.Am
#humour #humoursky
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I rang a fast food place and the burger arrived before I ordered it.
#humour #humoursky
November 23, 2025 at 3:00 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Selfridges.
The thing they don't do.
#humour #humoursky
November 23, 2025 at 12:41 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I'm the exact same distance from you as you are from me.
#humour #humoursky
November 23, 2025 at 9:42 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I always give 100% at work but spread it over the year.
#humour #humoursky
November 23, 2025 at 9:33 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I dropped some dessert on savoury crackers. Pudding on the Ritz.
#humour #humoursky
November 22, 2025 at 12:40 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
A Scotch Bonnet is actually neither.
#humour #humoursky
November 22, 2025 at 9:27 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I'm putting in a complaint against this train company for being prejudiced against Hypoteneuse.
#humour #humoursky
November 21, 2025 at 5:31 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
How do you ask for a friend?
Asking for a friend.
#humour #humoursky
November 20, 2025 at 11:00 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
#ASongOrMovieForAllAboutToilets
a man is playing a piano while three women are dancing in front of him and the words waterloo are visible
ALT: a man is playing a piano while three women are dancing in front of him and the words waterloo are visible
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 9:39 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I came, I saw, I conquered.
That's fifteen minutes of my life I'm not getting back.
#humour #humoursky
November 19, 2025 at 12:13 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"
No McDonald's apple pie, because I don't like the smell of burning skin.
#humour #humoursky
November 16, 2025 at 8:03 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Ive just totally and utterly failed Whamageddon. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!
At a Christmas fair and it came on. B*st*rd!!!
November 16, 2025 at 3:23 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
666 the number of the beast.
Call now to avoid disappointment.
#humour #humoursky
November 14, 2025 at 10:44 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Seat belts are used to keep your seats up.
#humour #humoursky
November 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Humanities: The art of colouring in Sea Cows.
#humour #humoursky
November 11, 2025 at 11:41 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I bought a pair of tap shoes.
One hot, one cold.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 9:28 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Every cloud has a silver lining.
I'm gonna get me a mining plane.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Albinos"
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 4:47 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I went on a club 18 to 30 holiday and set a new record by clubbing 34 of them.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 12:06 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Don't point that milk at me, it might go off.
#humour #humoursky
November 8, 2025 at 7:44 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Shakespeare was questioning whether he was fat or not when he penned "Tubby ir not tubby; that is the question".
#humour #humoursky
November 6, 2025 at 9:28 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I've just finished a gripping book on antigravity. I couldn't put it down.
#humour #humoursky
November 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
The wife she said "Put your hand in mine", although she she should have added "without the aid of a scalpel".
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:51 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I got 99 problems and trying to think of the 100th is 99 of them.
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:37 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Guy Fawkes implies the existence of Man Knyves and Bloke Spunes.
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:13 AM