JohnnyDcm
LightNews LightNews
banner
johnnydcm.bsky.social
JohnnyDcm
@johnnydcm.bsky.social
950 followers 1.5K following 3.6K posts
Guitarist in my new band, Ground Zero.

If you like my jokes, I will follow you. And you will like it.

Writing songs didn't work out, so I'm trying out writing a couple of novels. Watch this space.

Link to my music:
https://johndaviesinfo.weebly.com/
Posts Replies Media Videos
Pinned
johnnydcm.bsky.social
JohnnyDcm @johnnydcm.bsky.social · Nov 13
Will.I.Am is a distant relative of Henry the 8th I.Am.I.Am
#humour #humoursky
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I came, I saw, I conquered.
That's fifteen minutes of my life I'm not getting back.
#humour #humoursky
November 19, 2025 at 12:13 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"
No McDonald's apple pie, because I don't like the smell of burning skin.
#humour #humoursky
November 16, 2025 at 8:03 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Ive just totally and utterly failed Whamageddon. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!
At a Christmas fair and it came on. B*st*rd!!!
November 16, 2025 at 3:23 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
666 the number of the beast.
Call now to avoid disappointment.
#humour #humoursky
November 14, 2025 at 10:44 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Seat belts are used to keep your seats up.
#humour #humoursky
November 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Humanities: The art of colouring in Sea Cows.
#humour #humoursky
November 11, 2025 at 11:41 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I bought a pair of tap shoes.
One hot, one cold.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 9:28 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Every cloud has a silver lining.
I'm gonna get me a mining plane.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Albinos"
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 4:47 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I went on a club 18 to 30 holiday and set a new record by clubbing 34 of them.
#humour #humoursky
November 9, 2025 at 12:06 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Don't point that milk at me, it might go off.
#humour #humoursky
November 8, 2025 at 7:44 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Shakespeare was questioning whether he was fat or not when he penned "Tubby ir not tubby; that is the question".
#humour #humoursky
November 6, 2025 at 9:28 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I've just finished a gripping book on antigravity. I couldn't put it down.
#humour #humoursky
November 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
The wife she said "Put your hand in mine", although she she should have added "without the aid of a scalpel".
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:51 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I got 99 problems and trying to think of the 100th is 99 of them.
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:37 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Guy Fawkes implies the existence of Man Knyves and Bloke Spunes.
#humour #humoursky
November 5, 2025 at 10:13 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Just how many people have died on that hill?
#humour #humoursky
November 4, 2025 at 8:04 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Extreme anger is very popular at the moment. It's all the rage.
#humour #humoursky
November 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Imitation is the sincerest form of copying.
#humour #humoursky
November 4, 2025 at 5:00 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
My body is a temple, i.e. the same size and weight.
#humour #humoursky
November 3, 2025 at 12:24 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I put my clocks back last weekend and now I have to buy them all again.
#humour #humoursky
October 31, 2025 at 11:47 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
I didn't even know crickets could hold a bat.
#humour #humoursky
October 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Dry dog food. Not suitable for wet dogs.
#humour #humoursky
October 28, 2025 at 5:26 PM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
Not reposted.
angrystaffer.bsky.social Angry @angrystaffer.bsky.social · 28d
The White House is asking people not to share pictures of the East Wing because it’s even worse today.
October 22, 2025 at 11:18 AM
johnnydcm.bsky.social
@gideonbenzohar.bsky.social Hello sir, welcome to my, er, madness 😁
October 19, 2025 at 10:50 PM